Urzkartaga Wants To Be Inside of You
Written By: Greg Rucka
Art By: Liam Sharp, Laura Martin, Jodi Wynne
Cover Price: $2.99
Release Date: August 24, 2016
*Non Spoilers and Score At The Bottom*
While the first t issues of the "Lies" story left me scratching my head and thinking that I may actually have a mental handicap of some kind, I have to say that the last time we stepped into our present Wonder Woman timeline I was happy as hell with what we got because it didn't seem like I had to study my ass off and read into every piece of dialog that was given to us. It was just a pure and simple look at Cheetah as a character and what being the Cheetah has done to her. It seems that the god Urzkartaga is punishing Barbara Minerva for possibly giving up her virginity in college or wherever she might have lost it because since his bride wasn't pure, he's stricken her with a blood lust that she's having a hard time controlling. It's a good thing that Wonder Woman doesn't give up on friends easy though because even though Cheetah is pretty much Diana's biggest villain, she still cares for her and agrees to help her kill Urzkartaga if when they're finished Cheetah helps Diana find her way home. Yeah, it's weird that Wonder Woman can't get back to Themyscira, but I have to say that I'm interested as hell to find out why. Let's jump into this issue and see if we can find out what exactly the "Lies" are. let's check it out.
For this issue of Wonder Woman, we get a lot of Steve Trevor and for how bad ass he is here, I'm happy as hell about it. I mean, in the previous issue him and his crew....... platoon...... squad...... whatever they are were captured by the warlord Cadulo, who they were originally there to take out and even though it looks like Steve and his friends will eventually become a blood sacrifice to the god Urzkartaga, Steve is cool as a goddamn cucumber throughout this issue and really pulls off his best 80's every man, action hero. It's during this time where Cadulo finds Steve's picture of Wonder Woman and he begins believing that Steve was actually chosen by the gods to be there and because of this belief, Cadulo decides that Steve Trevor will be the vessel for Urzkartaga to once again walk the Earth. The biggest problem I have with that is.......... Vessel to me is the same as an avatar, but Cadulo seems to want to be the avatar for Urzkartaga, so I'm kind of lost on what exactly Cadulo wants or is planning. Hopefully it's not some kind of terrifying Siamese Twin type deal because whether or not two bodies are better than one, I don't think Urzkartaga is looking for a Basket Case type situation when he once again walks among the mortals.
While this is going on we get more of the idea that Steve Trevor was supposed to be here because Etta Candy leaves her post to go over the house of a woman, who appears to be her superior, but all we get from this is that her name is Sasha and Etta lets Sasha in on the fact that Trevor has gone silent, but with Wonder Woman in the area, she wants to hold off on a rescue mission or the whole disavow thing that may or may actually go on........ I just watched the newest Mission Impossible flick and it seems like that could be something ARGUS could be about. The point I'm trying to make is, Etta believes whether it's rational or not that Steve and Diana share a connection or that they're bound by fate. Let's hope that's the case because after seeing in the previous Wonder Woman issue, dealing with the Year One story, Steve and Diana are about to leave Themyscira and maybe because of this connection Diana actually needs Steve to help her find her way home. Not only that, but to find out why here memories feel false to her, which we do get to see a bit of in this issue...... Not to mention that this Sasha character isn't to be trusted.
In the end, before all is lost, Cheetah and Wonder Woman show up to kill Urzkartaga and Diana genuinely seems delighted to see Steve's squad........ even if they are all locked up and beat to hell, but she's going to have to get back to business because Steve is all ready to become the suck puppet of Urzkartaga.
That's it for this issue of Wonder Woman and even though I initially didn't care for the Lies story because I felt it was all smoke and mirrors and lacked any substance besides for saying that a mystery was happening, I have to say that this series has really turned around for me and I'm genuinely intrigued to find out what Greg Rucka has in store for us with his newest take on Wonder Woman. Anyway, we have three different groups of characters here and they all seemed to have a time to shine in this issue, not to mention dialog that felt so smooth and on point that I might as well have been watching a movie. Speaking of watching a movie, where the hell has Liam Sharp been all of my life? He's rocking the shit out of Rebirth to the point where I kind of want to get a hold of him and have him paint me all Titanic and sexy about it.......... That's right, I want to make it weird, but holy shit this book looks amazing........ Not to forget the brilliant colors by Laura Martin that brought this book to life. This so far is my favorite issue of Wonder Woman and I find myself needing more from this entire creative team because from what they're giving us with this series makes them goddamn rock stars in my mind and I'm a groupie.
Bits and Pieces:
The "Lies" continue in this issue of Wonder Woman and I want Greg Rucka and Liam Sharp to lie to me over and over again because of how great this story has become and for how much I appreciated all the characters, dialog and the subtle continuation of the mystery we have in front of us here. It's just a great read that looks fantastic and for all my previous bitching about not knowing what's going on, this issue shuts that shit down by telling me to be patient and just enjoy the ride.