I think that I could write a novel, maybe a great screenplay. I could... But I won't. These things will not happen. I can live with this. Coming to terms with the fact I will be alone for the rest of my life, however? That will take some time to sink in.

Hello, my public. It's been too long. It's been quite some time since we spoke last and a lot has changed. Aaand a lot is the same. I have gotten my license since last we spoke, so I have that newfound freedom, but it's still summer. And I've still got that summertime sadness. And so I sleep. I sleep a lot. When I'm not asleep I'm typically shopping. Amazon, Wal-Mart, FingerHut, cyber or physically-....it's all my weakness. But man, when I am shopping the feelings traveling through me in that moment are amazing, it's defiantly a high, buying stuff. A high I'm very much addicted to. And so, what... I'm drowning in all kinds of debt and I own hundreds of video games I've never played. It sucks, but oh well I won't have you shedding a tear for me in any of those veins. That stuff isn't what gets to me, it's not what gets me worked up. It's the starch baring loneliness. Not having another person to go through this life with.

But as I said in the beginning, I've lived this life far longer than anyone would want to. It's gotten so that it suits me, sometimes I wonder if I would be able to have a healthy relationship with anyone anymore, I wonder if I'm not too far gone. And so I've tried to come to terms with it, the fact that I will never have someone. I will never feel that warmth. So if eating and buying video games is what I'm meant to do in this life, alone, well... I'll shut up now and go do that.

Forgive me for the possible dire tone I am transmitting with this post, but what can I say, it's summer. It's supposed to be that way. No school, No people, No good. That's how it's always been. Anyway...........I think you get it. Maybe soon one day I'll write a happy happy happy post. But for today, that's it for this one-