Cave Carson Does Not Have a Cybernetic Eye
Written By:Jon Rivera
Story By:Gerard Way & Jon Rivera
Cover and Interior Art by: Michel Avon Oeming
Cover and Interior Colors by: Nick Filardi
Back-up Art by: Tom Scioli
On Sale Date: March 15, 2017
**NON SPOILERS AND SCORE AT THE BOTTOM**
Here it is, folks! The last issue of the first arc of Cave Carson! At least, I think it’s the last issue of the first arc. It shouldbe, by rights, in order to make a typical trade collection. Ugh, what am I saying—a typical trade collection? I always say writing for the trades is one of the worst things about modern comics! What have I become? Am I just another tool for the secondary market publicity department? Out, vile fiend! Let’s just look at this one, singular issue at hand: Cave Carson Has a Cybernetic Eye #6. Is it an ending? Is it a beginning? I don’t know! And let’s not presume too much until I spoil the crap out of it.
It’s all come to a head now: King P’Thrall is at the door of the Whisperer, held by daddy and son Borstein and their cat monk attachment, while Cave, Chloe and Wild Dog fight it out against a horde of fungus monsters that are virtually unstoppable! Except by bullets. Bullets seem to stop them pretty well. What really stops ‘em in their tracks is lava, as evidenced by a lava flow created by Cave that burns the fungi into grilled Portobello. The Batman fans from Sha-Muldroog and Team Carson chuck any remaining green globs into the issuing magma flow, and things are safe for the moment. Cave’s mother-in-law is grateful, so Cave asks her for a favor: some more of that sweet Night Pudding!
They’ll need it, says Cave, to withstand the psychic onslaught of the Whisperer once it is released. And it is released, much to the delight of Borstein and Son. Paul is a little dejected, though, since he figures they could have simply dug up Cave’s dead wife to open the door with much less fuss. Take heart, says his dad Edward, because humiliating King P’Thrall by making him the instrument of Muldroog and the planet’s demise is more than worth the effort! That’s the kind of support I never did get from my own father, darn it. Elsewhere, Team Carson is heading to the secret chamber of the Whisperer while absolutely tripping balls, something Chloe seems to enjoy a lot. Yeah, “withstand the psychic onslaught” my Aunt Fanny. You guys just wanted to get high!
The big showdown takes place once the Whisperer has been released from his crystal, and he looks like a giant fungal slug. The Mighty Mole shows up and Wild Dog begins carving through everyone in sight with twin SMGs, and at that moment the Whisperer sucks down Edward Borstein like a piece of spaghetti. Oeming does a pretty good job of showing psychedelia here; there’s a page where the panels are outlines in the shape of the Whisperer, and within Chloe goes on a shooting rampage that creates a rainbow, to her delight. She shuts the door with her Muldroogan DNA, but it gets caught on the Whisperer’s head! Wild Dog chucks some C4 at it and that seems to calm things down—but wait! From the Whisperer’s goopy fungus corpse rises the real Whisperer, a hovering, multi-colored sponge that seems more powerful that before! This is when Cave Carson’s cybernetic eye just fucking leaps out of its socket to do battle with the real Whisperer! This is not over, ladies and gentlemen!
Which not to say that this issue won’t conclude the first trade, but unlike Shade the Changing Girl which had a more definitive story end at number six, this one just keeps marching on. And I will march along with it! This issue was a lot of crazy fun, and I found myself genuinely feeling like it could all go tits up for Cave Carson and his crew. Which, of course, is unlikely. But if he doesn’t have his cybernetic eye, what will they title the book? Cave Carson Has an Eye Patch? There was also more of that unintelligible Super Powers and Wonder Twins back-up stuff from Tom Scioli, which probably induced more LSD-like symptoms than four buckets of Night Pudding.
Bits and Pieces:
Things come to a head, but not quite a conclusion in the sixth issue of Cave Carson Has a Cybernetic Eye. But what a wild ride! I find this book more engaging with each issue, and by now I am absolutely riveted. Not a lot of new developments in this issue, but everything we've learned and everyone we've met to this point come into play in a most satisfying way. And the most satisfying thing of all is that I can't wait to read issue number seven!