By Denise Turney
Do you know what one of the hardest parts about death is? You know, you absolutely know, that you cannot go back and change a single thing.
If you’re reading this, you might be nodding in agreement to that point, especially if you recently experienced the death of someone you’re very close to. In fact, desire to say something different or to do something else as it regards that loved one might be disrupting your peace.
Living Free of Past Painful Childhood Illusions
But, here’s the thing. It may be an illusion that you can change a single iota of the Painful Childhood past. Ever. You can’t change the past between you and someone who’s still living in the earth. The past really is done. It’s over. It passes moment by moment . . . day by day.
With that truth in mind, how would you change your life right now? How would you relate to the person who you’re avoiding, the person whose opinion you value so much that it hurts each time you imagine that he doesn’t fully approve of you? How would you treat a colleague, in-law, neighbor, blood relative or former friend if you knew that nothing that you say or do can ever be erased, can ever be re-done?
Would you continue plotting how you’re going to get even with your spouse or beau because she or he forgot your birthday, took credit for work you did or wouldn’t back down during an argument? Would you tell your child how much she irritates or frustrates you? Would you remain committed to hardening your heart?
Staring Bad Painful Childhood Choices Down
Choose this and not only will you be unable to change one iota of the Painful Childhood past, you’ll also be choosing to drag the unchangeable around with you. You may have heard this act referred to as lugging a dead thing around with you everywhere you go.
Who in her right mind does this? What man who loves himself chooses this?
You know who? The person who convinces herself that she’s always doing her best. The person who blames others responsible for his choices. The person who convinces herself that she could not possibly have made another, a better, choice.
But, how do you get yourself to believe that lie? What if you really didn’t do your best? What if you really could be more compassionate, understanding, patient and kind?
Signs That You’re Stuck in a Painful Childhood
How would you change your present life? What behavior and thought patterns would you change starting right now? How would you create a better past for yourself, a past you would always be at peace recalling?
If you’re stuck in the past, you may need to work with a professional to break free. Types of past (or dead) events that you could be hooked or in bondage to include the death of a parent, a romantic relationship breakup, a job layoff or a natural disaster that destroyed your home.
Signs that you’re living in the past in one or more areas of your life include clinging to people or objects (hoarding), irrational fears, emotional outbursts and difficulty feeling or expressing healthy emotion. An inability to form close, enriching relationships may be another sign that you’re still dragging a regrettable past experience around in your psyche.
It’s time to stop. Dragging the past around comes at a high price. It works like a contaminant that erodes present-day encounters. To say it’s a joy and peace thief is an understatement.
If you’re afraid and don’t want to examine your own regrettable past firsthand, empower yourself by taking a peek at someone else’s life. Get an account of the depth of damage creating a regrettable past causes. You’re probably already doing this, sizing up the impact of your parents’, grandparents’, church members’ and friends’ choices.
It’s easy to see where these people went wrong. But, being a spectator leaves you on the sidelines, keeps you from truly moving forward. Raymond Clarke learns this lesson the hard way. All he can see are his father’s and his mother’s awful mistakes, how they hurt him, how they set him up for a hard life.
Then, Raymond decides to run as far away from his past as possible. If you’re running from your past, you’re probably wondering how it’ll work out for Raymond. You’re probably wondering if it’s truly possible for Raymond to run free, especially if you’re failing at fleeing your past.
For Raymond, freedom doesn’t come until he revisits the past in an honest, healthy way. Are you ready to go back? Are you ready to revisit the hard spots in your life that are arresting your development? Give yourself the chance to learn how to truly break free of the past and accept real love right now. Raymond shares his story in the book, Love Pour Over Me.
Get your copy of “Love Pour Over Me” Now at – https://www.amazon.com/Love-Pour-Over-Denise-Turney-ebook/dp/B007MC0Z2C
Sources: Ebookit – http://www.ebookit.com/books/0000001582/Love-Pour-Over-Me.html Amazon.com – http://www.amazon.com/Love-Pour-Over-Me-ebook/dp/B007MC0Z2C
Barnes & Noble – http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/love-pour-over-me-denise-turney/1109600654