2024-04-07 11:25
Blimey, this week’s been a bit of a roller coaster. As you know, last week I was having extreme difficulties with what felt like bowel-based armageddon. I’m going to relate… Read More
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M T Mcguire Authorholic | Humorous Fantasy Fiction Blog
mtmcguire.wordpress.com
Humorous fantasy fiction author... the books are quite funny too... seeking an agent, a publisher and my fortune.
2024-03-30 17:17
This week I have been mostly…
…Having a crap.
Yeh, I know. You didn’t even ask me how I am and I’m going to tell you the intimate secrets of my Benjamin Owls. But a… Read More
2024-03-03 09:08
Yes, I have not covered myself in glory this week, indeed, while I concede I may have come up covered in something, glory is definitely not it. Cf my attempts to laminate bacon (yes, you rea… Read More
2024-02-17 11:14
Yep! You read that correctly, I, M T (writes at a speed which compares unfavourably with continental drift) McGuire have a new book out. This book.
Eyebomb, Therefore I Am
Currently it is av… Read More
2024-01-21 18:25
Well, since we’ve talked about my lovely mum dieing, we may as well go on to talk about her funeral and the general aftermath. I wrote, possibly the longest eulogy on earth, except the… Read More
2023-12-26 18:52
This is weird. I’m posting to wish everyone a happy Christmas, although it’s so long since I’ve written anything that there may be no-one here!
But also because, if anyone… Read More
2023-10-21 11:00
Well, it’s been a long time and I suspect most of you have wandered off, assuming I have disappeared off into the ether.
Nope, like a bad smell, I never go away, I linger. I have just… Read More
2023-07-15 11:23
This is a blog post I wrote a couple of days ago. I’ve wrestled with my conscience as to whether I should actually post it. Mainly because it’s only going to worry people. I prom… Read More
2023-07-02 17:36
Well, that was a hell of a week. In a good way. I’ve shared most of what’s been going on on social media. Normally I don’t do that because … spoilers! This time, bec… Read More
2023-06-18 15:15
This week, my school friend texted me to say she’d had a successful cancer op. There’s none left and she will do radio therapy.
‘Woot! Fantastic news!’ I started to t… Read More
2023-05-21 17:47
Except we so smecking are. Mwahahargh!
Yes he’s a bit fucked off.
I was going to do a post about writing this week—and accompanying things—but the accompanying things got a… Read More
2023-05-07 21:04
Not, entirely what you think it is, this one …
OK, so it’s been a long time, there’s been a fabulous holiday, an equally fabulous author event—the Indie Author Book… Read More
2023-03-12 11:44
Obviously, I use the word, ‘exciting’ advisedly, the ironic implication being somewhat the reverse.
This week, I have mostly been … running around like a blue-arsed fly! A… Read More
2023-03-05 17:02
Holy shizz, this has been a hell of a week. But there have been successes among the rampant chaos. As you know, if you read this regularly, the chaos fairies frequently play havoc with my li… Read More
2023-02-26 18:45
Yes, you find me all arse-about-face this week. Well that’s the default state, I grant you, but in this particular instance I’m probably a bit more arse-about-face than usual. Ye… Read More
2023-02-04 16:09
The Bury Beet Factory in sunset hue … Less Silver Spoon and more Golden Spoon in this one …
This blog post is written over a couple of weeks but I’ve not harmonised the t… Read More
2023-01-07 16:08
It has occurred to me that I haven’t done a blog post for a long time and when a friend noted it in my Christmas card, expressing concerns as to whether everything was OK I thought tha… Read More
2022-10-01 11:01
It sounded as if the Dalek operator inside was laughing as I did this.
OK, it’s a bit of a long one this week because woah! Norcon! What a gas! And I want to give you the low down. Yes… Read More
2022-09-24 11:12
This week I was going to write about The Queen, I may not have time to do it justice because I am going to have to write today’s blog post yesterday and speak to you from the past. Tha… Read More
2022-09-18 16:32
Quite a lot to catch up on after the gap last week. Sorry about that, I was out digging, this time near Haverhill. Once again, it was a weekend event with two days’ on the fields.
Howe… Read More
2022-09-03 11:38
This week, by the wonders of technology, I’m speaking you from somewhere I’m not. Yes. I’ve scheduled this post in advance. A LOT has happened this week. Let’s start… Read More
2022-08-28 14:29
After last week’s rant, two things occurred to me; first that I probably needed to post this week as well, just so you know I’m alright and second; reading it back, I got the imp… Read More
2022-08-20 12:34
For some time now, I’ve been putting off writing anything here. Mainly because I need to write about Mum but I’m just so burned out with the whole dementia circus that when I sit… Read More
2022-07-02 20:15
Well that was an interesting day. Or perhaps more accurately, morning. But it explains why there has been no blog post until now … that said, ‘now’ will probably be tomorr… Read More
2022-06-25 16:18
This week, I was thinking about discussing world events but looking at them … for fuck’s sake. I can’t bring myself to do it. Let’s look at the fact America has pass… Read More
2022-06-19 17:46
Yes, I am still alive, although you could be forgiven for wondering if I’ve quietly shuffled off this mortal coil the amount of time it’s been since I wrote a blog post. I suppos… Read More
2022-05-15 16:26
Still here …
There’s been a bit of a long break and I thought I should probably pop in here, if only to reassure you that I’m still alive. There is a reason for my absenc… Read More
2022-04-02 17:44
It’s been an interesting week this week. I did a lot of writing and discovered that I’ve spent the last three weeks going in the wrong direction. After that I went back to what I… Read More
2022-03-19 13:38
Yep. Straight up. Don’t laugh. It’s serious … well, OK, it’s not. No. Not at all, really. In fact, today, I have a story to share which, I hope, will make you laugh… Read More
2022-02-27 17:05
Gardening tips from Vladimir Putin
Holy fucking fuck.
Well, this has been an bit of a grim week hasn’t it? If you’d asked me the kind of future I envisaged for my son a few years… Read More
2022-02-13 18:44
Today at church we were celebrating a new C of E service theme, Racial Equality. The service was brilliant, mentions of Martin Luther King Jr’s dream which seems depressingly far from… Read More
2022-02-06 23:08
Recently, I’ve been feeling slightly muted. Tomorrow would have been my father’s birthday and a few days ago, my phone’s calendar flashed up a reminder warning me that I mi… Read More
2022-01-22 14:17
So a quiet one this week. I’ve been trying to finish off some of the admin. I’m getting there but rather slowly. Big pluses this week, I have done my tax return! Woot. It’s… Read More
2022-01-15 18:44
This week, as promised, how I was banned from Facebook. Many years ago Amazon had product discussion forums and I used to hang out on the one in the UK, for books mostly. It was typical Amaz… Read More
2022-01-08 15:44
To be honest, there’s not much more to say. This is going to come over as a monstrously self-indulgent and whinge to most of you and it probably is (although it’s supposed to be… Read More
2021-12-31 12:07
Happy New Year …
This is just a quick one to wish you Happy New Year.
I can’t say much this week. Christmas II is about to start, in Scotland, so I will be heading up there tomo… Read More
2021-12-25 11:34
Happy Arnold, The Prophet’s Birthday (may his blessings be upon you).*
Yes this year, I’ve got my arse in gear and I have managed to produce a free Christmassy story for your del… Read More
2021-12-18 12:07
Although I can forgive you for thinking I might have been because, I concede, it’s been ages since I’ve had time to write the blog. I’ve had to keep dropping it in favour o… Read More
2021-11-07 18:15
Better late than never this week, yes the blog goes out on a Sunday because MTM was phaffing about too long on Saturday. On the upside, the phaffing involved writing 2,000 new words on Hamge… Read More
2021-10-30 14:56
Trigger warning: This is a very long post and there is swearing!
What can I say about this week, it’s been action-packed and I can’t see anything slowing down as we begin the hea… Read More
2021-10-23 10:52
Or at least, some swimming pool water. More on that story later …
Nareens in Mum’s garden with a fabulous sky … because I can
Wow, that was a long break. I hadn’t r… Read More
2021-08-07 16:38
This week I have been making a very credible attempt to disappear up my own bum. Jeepers, if this is what it takes to visit another country I am never ever smecking going abroad again. And I… Read More
2021-07-31 12:45
WTF? I can see I’m going to be using this picture a lot.
Yes, this week I am going to talk about dreams and then I’m going to have a massive rant. Run with me, there is… Read More
2021-07-24 10:53
An eventful one this week. It’s the summer holidays so pretty much anything except admin and Mum stuff has gone out of the window because all three of us are off. Instead we are Doing… Read More
2021-07-10 22:45
Well another action-packed week this week so it’s all a bit random. Hold onto your hats and off we go.
First of all the Noisy Cricket is back from the mechanic’s and I am con… Read More
2021-07-03 11:25
This week, I single-handedly caused a gargantuan traffic jam and discovered that I am strong enough to brake a centimetre thick bar of steel. Move over Hulk, here I come. There’s a sto… Read More
2021-06-26 10:41
Life is feeling a bit like this at the moment …
Just briefly, some writing news this week. It’s the end of term there’s loads of stuff on at the school, sports da… Read More
2021-06-19 19:57
Yeh, I know, again. Here’s the whole sorry tale.
This week, I went to the first art exhibition I’d attended in a long time. It was this one, at Moyses’ Hall in Bury St E… Read More
2021-06-13 13:51
Do you ever wonder what you’re going to be when you grow up? I was 53 yesterday so I suspect I should hvae grown out of the habit by now. However, I still look to the future and wonder… Read More
2021-06-06 16:03
Yeh. Welcome to my world, the world of what might be the most unproductive human being on earth.
Shit! A squirrel has just run under my chair. Sorry where was I? Apart from outside, I me… Read More
2021-05-23 17:26
Well, it’s been an interesting week. I’ve managed to do some more writing (woot!) but a little less because I had other stuff I needed to do as well. On the up side, some of that… Read More
2021-05-15 14:19
Blimey, here we are nearly at the end of another week. I’m becoming very concerned about the quality of the comedy on this blog. For some reason, I am sitting down to write on Saturday… Read More
2021-05-08 14:37
So here we are at that time of the week when it’s blog time again. This week I have been out and about a bit but suddenly, on Thursday morning, to my delight and joy, I woke up with a… Read More
2021-05-01 16:23
This is going to be a short one because it’s twenty past five, which means I have approximately forty minutes to write my usual fifteen hundred word blog post. Hmm. Isn’t going t… Read More
2021-04-24 12:42
Well, things are a little more up-beat this week. Thank the lord for that, I hear you mutter. Seriously though, I do know what’s going on and why I’m out of sorts. Worry ye not… Read More
2021-04-17 13:06
Although also … possibly … out of.
Too Much Information Alert …
OK, this post is, officially, going to begin with Too Much Information. I’m going go talk abo… Read More
2021-04-10 11:15
Well it’s that time of the week to write a blog and as I sit here, tapping at my keyboard, I see from my BBC Newsfeed that the Duke of Edinburgh has died. It kind of reflects my mood… Read More
2021-04-06 10:00
This is a bit of a turn up isn’t it? A blog post on a Tuesday. Except today, someone else is writing the blog post so I don’t have to! Woot. As I do from time-to-time,may I welco… Read More
2021-04-03 10:50
Spring. In case, like me, you’d forgotten what it was fucking like.
So here we are at Easter. Recently, here in GB, we passed the anniversary of lockdown one. Things are still stran… Read More
2021-03-27 11:25
Blimey, it’s already time for another blog post. The days and weeks seem to be flying past at the moment but at the same time, nothing much seems to be happening. Life, time, existence… Read More
2021-03-21 18:07
Finally – in the ‘at last’ sense – all round this week.
First up, and briefly, I went to get my jab yesterday morning – or my jag if you’re Scottish &ndas&hell…Read More
2021-03-13 15:01
Thinness.
Well, here I am. I told you I was a nutter. Something clicked on Tuesday. I hit the afternoon
Mum’s semi domesticated pheasant. He’s a big boy.
and didn’t feel so… Read More
2021-03-06 15:26
Weeks and weeks of this … ugh.
This week has been quite odd. I’ve been feeling a little out of sorts emotionally. I think that’s partly down to the weather. We’ve ha… Read More
2021-02-27 15:54
Last week, I’d made a list of stuff to blog about. I had a particularly productive few days because my brother was down at Mum’s so I didn’t need to ring her every day. I l… Read More
2021-02-14 14:42
OK, on the downside – let’s get it out of the way before we begin – I have not written anything new, although I’ve been working on some edits for the sweeping, compli… Read More
2021-02-06 16:11
There are only so many interesting headlines I can give to all these blog posts about my, apparently limitless, ability to fuck things up. Meanwhile I appear not to have come anywhere close… Read More
2021-01-30 15:59
So a lot of time has passed and there’s not been much blogging. To be honest, I’ve been feeling a bit meh and I have learned not to do things when I lack the energy. It’s c… Read More
2021-01-09 11:17
Christmas has come and gone. Christmas is usually about other people but this year, thanks to COVID, we got one for us. Not that we had a choice but it was wonderful, just this one time, to… Read More
2020-12-19 13:30
As I dot and carried down the hall and stopped to pick up this year’s obligatory longways Christmas card which inevitably slides off any surface upon which it is put if so much as a gn… Read More
2020-11-28 18:19
Today, I’m going to talk about pain management. Because pain management is quite a big part of my life right now. It does feel as if my full-time job is doing physio, three times a day… Read More
2020-11-21 14:12
I was watching a programme about Pink Floyd last night and I’m afraid I couldn’t help myself.
Right. This week a suspension of the usual service to bring you a message about audi… Read More
2020-11-02 17:43
Ha! No blog so far this week. Bet you were congratulating yourself on escaping the massive ‘my operation’ post weren’t you? Unlucky. I’m an eighth French and what tha… Read More
2020-10-24 20:38
Doubtless you’re delighted to see that I’m not starting off with a melodramatic title or anything, because clearly, I would never be a drama queen about having a totally standard… Read More
2020-10-10 14:26
These last fifteen days or so have been a bit of a roller coaster. You may, or may not, know – but I think you will know because I can’t believe I haven’t mentioned it &nda&hell…Read More
2020-10-03 11:28
Gah! Excuse me if everything is a little off today but … ugh something weird has happened.
For those of you who don’t know, this site is hosted by WordPress. A while ago, WordPr… Read More
2020-09-26 12:33
Unfortunately, at the moment I am not being one of these …
Once again, it’s the time of the week when I am supposed to be writing my blog and I’ve done nothing about it. O… Read More
2020-09-19 12:06
Several things have happened this week which are very apposite to this heading but since they aren’t fully resolved and I want to wait and talk about them when they are, I thought I&rs&hell…Read More
2020-09-12 12:58
Today I thought it would be interesting to do a what-are-the-duck’s-legs-doing-underneath style post about audiobooks. Obviously, I know jiff all about audiobooks or producing them so… Read More
2020-09-05 14:10
Lancing Beach. Just to throw you when I’m talking about Suffolk beaches later. Some guy found a gold coin here.
A strange week all round. I was going to share some of the questions and… Read More
2020-08-29 17:16
Yeh, I know it’s about five hours after the usual time but things got out of hand.
Two different types of treasure this week. First the lovely one that is McOther. Ah bless him. This w… Read More
2020-08-22 10:49
Blimey but it’s windy here. Must be all the fruit I’m eating. Oh ho ho. The weather is pretty blowy too. Storm Ellen, I thought we’d had Ellen after Dennis but thinking abo… Read More
2020-08-15 13:04
Reading.
Well, OK, not this week but I have been reading so I am going to review a couple of books I enjoyed, so here we go.
Erinsmore by Julia Blake
At a recent event … well …… Read More
2020-08-08 11:06
How are you all doing?
This week, I mostly did … a podcast appearance. The one I mentioned last week with Bonnie Dillabough. OK so I’m not sure I acquitted myself too well, espe… Read More
2020-08-01 10:57
You ain’t seen me … roight?
Bit of a bum start this week. The touch pad on my computer is bust so no editing my auto responders, doing mailing list anything or Facebook or BB ad… Read More
2020-07-25 12:43
Mary fails at modern life
Good morning, I am feeling monster lethargic this week. I have two book reviews to write, and haven’t and I have to do this and we’re going out tomorrow… Read More
2020-07-18 10:54
One of the things I’ve been trying to do since lockdown eased is continue walking for an hour each day. Unfortunately, I’m coming up against the usual problem which is that post… Read More
2020-07-11 11:01
A quick one this week as I am currently in the thoes of trying to locate my W8BN form. Gads! I have decided to open a Barnes&Noble publisher account to sell my books direct. Why in the n… Read More
2020-07-04 11:40
Yeh, I selected that heading from Whiny Titles R-Us but it does sum up the way I felt at the start of this week and the feeling I’m trying to describe.
The slough of despond; rain and… Read More
2020-06-27 11:16
Yep. That’s where I’m going this week. Flame throwers at the ready. You see, for a while I’ve been wanting to say something about Black Lives Matter but I haven’t rea… Read More
2020-06-20 17:58
Grumpy bastards R us
This week has been a bit of an interesting mix. Is it just me or is everyone a bit grumpy coming out of lockdown? I live on one of the main drags into town so there&rsqu&hell…Read More
2020-06-13 10:39
Finding out about how the bunny got on …
Bunny!
It’s coming down to the wire I have about 50 minutes to break the back of this before we all knock off for the evening, with a qu… Read More
2020-06-06 15:13
This morning it is pissing down and rather cold. Bit of a bummer after it’s been so lovely, although the plants need the rain and I bet the blackbird is pleased not to have to be etern… Read More
2020-05-30 15:30
It’s a bit of a mixed bag this week. On the one hand, life is getting slowly back to normal, people are allowed out to visit other people and I have been visiting my significant family… Read More
2020-05-23 10:58
This week, I had intended to write a deep and poignant post about stages along the dementia path. But then stuff happened. So, instead I’m going to share another slice of my completely… Read More
2020-05-16 12:51
This morning, I woke from a dream in which McMini and I were trapped in a version of my parents’ bedroom in our house in the school in which I grew up. We were about to be mauled to de… Read More
2020-05-10 12:09
This week another treat as we are once again visited by the inestimable Tallis Steelyard who will tell us a story. Oh yes. Enjoy.
Only the Truth
I hold up Bassat Larn as an example of the so… Read More
2020-05-02 11:11
This week I’ve been mostly feeling rather smug because I am taking part in a blog tour and my blog post has been kindly provided by Jim Webster. Except, of course, that when I schedule… Read More
2020-04-25 16:27
This week I have been mostly …
Doing loads of stuff.
OK so there’s a lot I haven’t done but I’m feeling productive. I’ve managed to do some housework, some boo… Read More
2020-04-18 11:00
Strange days indeed.
Most peculiar mumma … woah. Yep. Times, they are … definitely weird.
Anyone get the obscure pop reference? Btw?
Yeh, OK. Probably not. Either that or there… Read More
2020-04-11 12:55
This week lockdown continues. There’s no going back. All our lives have changed, although it seems that the basics of existence in my home town haven’t. I may have to stand two m… Read More
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