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2015-06-22 16:55
I'm pretty late to the party on this movie. After watching the majority of Transformers: Age of Extinction, I wish I never attended the party. It's not that I don't love explosions. I love e… Read More
2012-12-13 17:23
Why are you trying to lose weight?Because I feel bad for my buttons Read More
New Day
2011-05-11 20:03
Truth is...I'm fat! (push button for dramatic effect)I took a picture of myself a few weeks ago:I didn't like what I saw. Who would? I need to make a change. I did. Nutrisystem. Nutrisystem… Read More
Define The Term
2011-05-11 18:42
I was greeted with the opportunity to improve my "higher math" on my Xbox 360 a few days ago. I realized, however, they seem to think "higher math" means "addition." I guess this is one way… Read More
Annual Sit To Feed The Hungry
2010-11-21 18:10
What are you doing Thanksgiving morning? Enjoying your warm bed? Well, change of plans! Join Mi Thoughts and MAYHEM improv and participate in Sit to Feed the Hungry. Sit to Feed is a fundrai… Read More
2009-12-16 04:00
As I wander around Sephora, I want to lean over to some women and whisper in their ear, "don't start here, with makeup. Start with the treadmill." Read More
I Survived Sexual Allusions
2009-12-09 02:45
This is the sticker Blood Source handed me after donating a pint of B± (it's one of those.)"I survived the finger stick," sounds a tad filthy. I shan't be wearing it. But, maybe I'll… Read More
Carpe Dieme
2009-12-06 00:08
Hello darling! How I've missed you these past 11 months. I don't like you "light," but it'll do....for now Read More
2009-12-05 08:36
I'm glad I lost my wallet. I don't have to worry about having it stolen Read More
Tick Tick Tick....Boom
2009-12-05 08:34
You know those chili peppers in chinese dishes? The atomic ones that ruin your night if ingested? They duel with your digestive track and your digestive track always ends up crippled.Why do… Read More
Thar She Sits
2009-12-05 08:27
Oh Winter! A chill in the air, scattered leaves, and an abandoned wheelchair. An abandoned wheelchair? Strange. A wheelchair. Just sitting on the sidewalk. No one around. Who leaves a wheelc… Read More
2009-12-04 07:08
When I, eventually, own a club I won't have a dress code. I'll have a face code, and a picture of an attractive woman with a sign that reads, "you must be this attractive to get in." Read More
Well, When You Say It Like That!
2009-12-04 01:59
I spent a few minutes drawing up reasons buying a modded XBox 360 make sense. I was trying to convince some skeptical family members it's a good idea. Here's what my notes look like.I think… Read More
Before The Bodies Cold
2009-12-03 22:17
This show should be called The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty should be called The Scraps: Turning Our Brothers Death Into Profit Anyway We Can: We're Shameless: The ABC's of Making Money, As Ea… Read More
He Doth Protest To Much
2009-12-03 21:15
This looks like a penis, right? I'm not alone on this, right? It's right there! It's not like I think about penis an unhealthy amount. I just can't help noticing a phallic cul-de-sac. I was… Read More
Retch
2009-12-03 18:50
Over the weekend I found pizza in my parent's refrigerator. Lots of pizza! A plethora o' pie! The free mother load! I had four pieces and went about my day.Yesterday, my mom mentions, "I bet… Read More
Lopez Tonight
2009-12-02 22:52
I've only seen one episodes of Lopez Tonight, and I found it hilarious. Lopez wasn't hilarious, but an older audience member was. Jay Sean and Birdman performed on Lopez Tonight, to an inter… Read More
2009-12-02 21:38
Have you seen this Wal Mart commercial?If I were that solider, the first thing I'd do when I got home was punch my kid in the face. The kid wished for snow? Dad's dodging bullets and IEDs an… Read More
Corporate Erotica
2009-12-02 21:29
I found this image as a header for a corporate website. One of these employees is not like the other. Which one is different? Do you know? Yep. you're right. It's the lecherous guy eye rapin… Read More
Under It All
2009-12-02 04:17
I had to drive to Rite Aid this evening for some meds. Under the pharmacy counter Rite Aid was peddling candy. Shady move Rite Aid! You and I both know the depressed medication buying folk… Read More
Curb Appeal
2009-12-02 03:55
Panera Bread! I love your food, but I've never seen such terrible plate presentation in my life. The menu had more color. Menus shouldn't be more appealing then the product Read More
2006-06-07 11:16
I miss blogging. Miss reading my posts? You can catch up with everything I've been writing here:  http://itsmepaulb.wordpress.com Read More

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