Any other woman in your partner’s life, especially one with whom he engages in sexual activity and other activities he should only be engaging with you, is referred to as a mistress or the “side chick” in Nigeria.
Surprisingly, many married men in this region have one or two sides, women, under the justification that “men are polygamous by nature.”
Some even go so far as to state things like, “You become weary of eating one particular dish thus at some time you need to have something different.”
Others would make ludicrous claims such as, “We are merely trying to help the number of side ladies,” and other things.
The following five guidelines must be followed when interacting with your spouse’s side chick:
Conduct a thorough inquiry into your partner’s side woman.
Make sure your boyfriend is truly cheating on you by conducting a thorough investigation.
Confronting your spouse about alleged extramarital affairs when there are none will be the biggest injustice to him.
And yes, if he does have a sidekick, find out everything about her, including her appearance, how she met your partner, the extent of their relationship, and other details. This is merely an effort to provide you with solid Evidence that your man is being unfaithful.
Refrain from confronting the side chick if you feel tempted to.
This is one mistake that most women make. They engage in confrontation with the woman on their man’s side, which is never appropriate.
In actuality, you have no business talking to the side girl; your man is the one who has to be “spoken to.”
Gently bring up the Side Chick issue with your partner.
Inform your partner subtly that you are aware of his affair and provide evidence. Whatever he says, be sure you’re in control of your feelings. Since now is not the time to let it control you, avoid doing so.
If he rejects the act despite the obvious evidence you have provided, you must remain and, should he accept, you must find out why he selected that section and discuss the situation.
Seek marriage therapy in between
You should consult with a Marriage counsellor and any other professional at this moment to improve your mental state and keep your sanity.
It’s preferable if he participates in the counselling process as well if you are keen on maintaining your marriage due to your love for your spouse.
There, you and your partner can express your thoughts to a marriage professional who will provide suggestions and lay out a plan for, if possible, redesigning your relationship.
Make a choice.
If your partner exhibits evidence of leading a new life following a counselling session, it suggests you two are on the verge of reliving the good days again without the involvement of a third party. However, you must be certain that it is what you want and what would make you truly happy.
However, if he doesn’t exhibit any signs of regret, you’ll need to take a back seat, potentially leave the house, and perhaps file for divorce if the marriage is unsalvageable.
If you do decide to stay away from him while you wait for a change, you must protect yourself by refraining from having unprotected sexual contact with him—that is if you even have to. Make sure you have a medical checkup to see if you have any STIs or STDs and be treated if necessary.
