A 2020 study of over 300 fathers present during labor and birth in a German hospital suggested that it was "beneficial" for close to 80% of fathers, 85% of mothers, and over 70% of their relationships — even though 36% of the men felt fear and close to 15% were overwhelmed by the situation, over 90% were happy to be there.

Expanding on these numbers, let's take a look at a Reddit post by user Sakuramochi_Chan, who asked dads on the platform who were there with their partners in the delivery room to describe the experience.

#1

Today is my first born's birthday, 29 years ago today i still remember

i grabbed him, i held him ,i cut his cord, he pissed on me

i thought "now im a dad.....i have to be better now"

Image credits: Lazarus_Steel

#2

I was white as a ghost and scared for the first one. You would have thought I was holding an alien. Nothing prepares you for that. Second was more relaxed. I watched football on the tv, she pushed me away and asked for her mom. I tried to help, but didn't get to do the ice chips and holding her hand. I cut the cord. First one to hold him. Both were amazing and memorable. I wouldn't change a thing.

Image credits: redpillbob69

#3

Wife almost bled out - she kept telling me to make sure my daughter was ok and all I could think about was I may only have another minute with my wife.

Image credits: Daytonaman675

#4

My wife and daughter almost died. Major shoulder dystocia. Code pink. Violent emergency c-section. Witnessed successful resus on my daughter. Mom needed 4 unit transfusion.

I’m a paramedic and this still majorly f****d me up.

Image credits: RocksteadyBetty

#5

First and only time i cried out of happiness. And its burned into my memory which doesn't happen very often. (Im 24)

Image credits: BBQ-Dog

#6

It was simultaneously horrifying and miraculous.
The pain she went through and the amount of blood and amniotic fluid that was pushed out of her … it was astounding.

That this tiny little human came out whole and was ours. Was someone we created. And now we are responsible for trying to help him become a decent human.

Image credits: AngryWombat78

#7

During the actual birth, especially with your first child, you experience almost every emotion simultaneously. Joy for the new addition, fear/worry that something will go wrong, pride for how amazing my wife is, helplessness for not being able to really help my wife more than say encouraging words or holding a leg. It's emotionally exhausting, all while on very little sleep.

10/10 cool experience though.

Image credits: pikeben08

#8

There was a curtain so we couldn’t see. I held her hand and I gazed into her eyes and told her that she was doing great and just how much I loved her. She was all sweaty and honestly really beautiful. It was one of the best days of my life. Later on that night my son was rushed to the NICU because he stopped breathing and that was consequently the scariest day of my life. He is fine now, but that experience was just the worst.

Image credits: WearsFuzzySlippers

#9

Most people here are describing the events...so I'll skip the stories of my wife have two accidentally 'natural and lain killer free' births (under two very different circumstances) and, I'm going to try to describe the emotional impact.

The mother has 9 months building a gradually increasing connection the baby; carrying, little kicks, hiccups and burps. For the father, there honestly is a bit of a detachment.

For me, all that happened in one exact moment when I heard my daughter cry for the first time. All emotions wrapped into one exact moment in time.

For the mother, its a nurturing build of love and connection.

For the father, it's a bomb.

I froze, I didn't respond when spoken to, and I cried.

It was a big moment for me, and all I have to do is close my eyes and I can recreate the sound of the first time I heard her voice, etched in my memory like a laser engraved vinyl record.

Image credits: chickenfatnono

#10

Probably one of the most important and memorable days of my life. When the baby came out I was overcome with emotion and the bond formed between my wife and I through the experience is something that I don’t think could be achieved in any other way.

Image credits: StarsandStripes702

#11

My daughter was born 25th July this year. First child and she came 7 weeks early completely out the blue.

Wife woke me at 2am Saturday with what she thought was contraction. we went into hospital they checked her told us they should pass go home. Got home by 7am but by 9am she was definitely getting contractions and every third she threw up.

Both pretty scared now back to hospital we go. Back at 11am checked over told she doesn't appear to be dilating at all. Checked again at 6pm wife was 4cm dilated. Told the baby is coming she's early and will likely need help. Wife was finally fully dilated at 4.30am Sunday morning. (I have never been more proud of my wife).

At this point over 24 hours with no sleep or food for either of us as I didn't leave her side. Delivery took a hour and my daughter was born at 5.38am Sunday 25th July. She came out deathly grey not breathing, was placed on my wife for about 5 seconds while midwife rubbed her trying to get her to breathe, made me quickly cut her cord and then handed over to resuss doctors. At this point I was in complete shock just trying to focus on my wife and putting a brave face on for her.

After a few minutes under heat lamps and being ventilated she was taken straight to NICU. We didn't even hear her till afternoon. They wanted my wife to rest so I kissed her goodbye told her how proud I was and went to NICU.

Upon seeing my daughter hooked up to all the machines broke me. Everything caught up to me and I had a panic attack, couldn't really understand what was happening and told to go sleep and come back after resting.

Got a few hours sleep went back to meet her properly. Turns out absolutely no reason can be given why she came early. The same day she started breathing by herself was in NICU for just under two weeks been home since. We did every test available not a thing they can find wrong with her. She's nearly 12 weeks old now piling the weight on and a happy little baby. We named her Lyra.

To answer your question the scariest and also proudest moment of my 28 years of life so far. Watching her come out of my wife was also just surreal, probably best description to use.

Image credits: Grandfs

#12

1st daughter was 40 hours of labor before they finally did a c-section. I remember exhaustion. She got pissed at me at one point for nodding off. Attempting labor was violent. They were jumping up on her and pushing down on her belly trying to force the kid out. I got to see the top of her head before they decided she wasn't going to exit the usual way. Once she was out, her head was shaped like a banana from being partially forced through the birth canal. I was numb and wiped out.

2nd daughter, we planned the c-section. I was in there with her. They put me at her head and pointed me at her face, put up a little curtain at her chest that looked like it was made of the same material as the scrubs so we couldn't see what was going on. They asked me if I wanted a chair. No, I said, I was fine. I held her hand and talked to her. At one point I looked down at my feet, and I was standing in a lake of blood. I then realized why there was a drain in the floor. I asked for the chair as my knees buckled and they got it under me before I collapsed.

Image credits: Haikuna__Matata

#13

Well, it was a C section and my daughter was 1 pound 10 oz. so there was that. 28 weeks. It was awesome watching the neonatal surgeons work on her. Delivery doctors were talking golf as they worked on my wife. I was in shock. Just numb to what was happening. To be honest I didn't know if I wanted her to live or die. So much s**t going through my head. An hour later that tiny little thing squeezed my finger and I started rooting for her survival big time. Spent the next two days wondering who was going to die first, my wife or my daughter. My wife turned for the better three days later and my daughter came home three months later. She just turned 30. The shock lasted several days. I stopped in at work to grab stuff and let them know I wouldn't be in and a co-worker said "congratulations". Instantly the shock was gone and proud father kicked in. Thanks Stan.

Image credits: ruderat

#14

26 hours in labor. Two hours of my wife just pushing (while in agonizing pain) to get the baby out. I was a whole mess from hour 12 and on. So, I was basically miserable for the last 14 hours.
I wasn’t mentally prepared. As soon as I saw him come out and he started crying, I erupted into tears like a baby myself. Most emotional moment of my entire existence. It was magical and I’m just glad I didn’t pass out before I could witness his birth.

Image credits: userojthejuice

#15

It was fine, but hectic. You are there to provide support for your partner. Be calm and collected. Videotaping and taking pictures is only a secondary role and only if you have time. I had to catch the baby as it came out since the nurse and doctor were not in the room at the time.

You need to run interference and get things that are needed for your partner or if the nurse or doctor tells you to get something that is not in the room. It is their way of saying you are in the way and are not being helpful.

#16

I remember talking about my experience to a friend couple who were expecting. I said that I was glad that I didn’t have to go through that shark attack again. The couple side eyed each other and I tried to salvage the situation with platitudes about how the baby is the biggest joy you’ll ever experience.

As a man the birthing is a big deal but the fathering and husband-ing after the birth is the hard part.

You’re a support worker during all four trimesters. Forget your ego and work harder. The more you can do now to set yourself up the less hard it will be. Stock your freezer with pre made casseroles. Ask for suppers from friends as gifts. Put a note on your door asking that if someone is coming for a visit they are expected to do a chore. Whenever you see your wife, or any woman, breastfeeding you must offer her a glass of water.

Image credits: NosamEht

#17

My son was born third of January 2019. Wife was induced but baby still wasn't playing ball. Wife was having contractions as she should but he was having none of it. His pulse started dropping to an emergency c section was decided on. I was put in scrubs and sat in the room with wife while she was operated on. Her canular fell out and I got blood all over my scrubs. So I looked like an extra from Mad Max at this stage.

Wife was out her face and not doing so great. I was holding her hand, curtain is up so can't see what's going on. Baby suddenly screams loud - I'm very happy with this it was a strong and definitive yell which was great. We weigh him, he cuddles my wife etc. I'm then told to take him out to a recovery room while wife is sewn up.

There are loads of happy families in there all together. I'm alone, covered in blood and holding my beautiful son who is wrapped in a towel and blankets. He's not moving around much. Eventually a consultant and trainee take him from me and tell me he needs to be in ICU immediately as he is not looking clever. So I abandon waiting for wife and follow him up there. He goes under a light, then goes into the ICU and they're not happy either. They're putting hooks under his scalp, I ask about this and they say they can't find brain activity. They ask if I want to hold him, I say no I don't want to bond anymore if he is possibly brain-dead.

The rest is a bit of a haze, running up and down three flights of stairs to help wife express, then bring it to son, up and down. Blacked out a couple times doing this for 5 or 6 hours then went home to sleep when I could do no more.

Came in at 5 or 6 next morning to find wife with okay baby in her arms down in ICU room. Thank Christ. Really really difficult time but really made a man of me. Love my wife and son to bits even more so worrying I would lose both of them that day. Also his name tag outside - we hadn't agreed yet but I wanted to call him frank. The name tag had been changed at my wife's request to say Frank instead of just Baby -Surname- which was wonderful.

Was extremely pleased and not anxious at all taking them both home a week or two later when it had died down.

Image credits: anon

#18

It was incredible, breathtaking, amazing, and terrifying. Being the first person my daughter saw and making eye contact with her when she came out was an out of body experience. I have a great picture from about three minutes after she was born where I’m holding her and we’re staring at each other and it looks like she’s sticking her tongue out at me.

I wasn’t anxious about the moment going in, but when it happened, it was like my entire life would now be summed up as before and after that exact moment.

Now, the 55 hours of waiting was much less existentially awesome. That was pure torture. Wife was in pain, unable to rest, nurses checking on her every half hour, constant prodding and poking, lots of trips to the little refreshment area to get ice.

Looking back, it was such a crazy experience. You can’t really describe it in a way that does it justice.

Image credits: SL_1183

#19

Second child after the first child had been incredible difficult. My wife went into labor at an ice cream place ("Ooph, I really need to poop..."). We drove to the hospital straight from there. I had been practicing a form of hypnosis to use on her in the hospital. Once she got settled in, I did that and she was able to totally relax from 6 CM dilated to to 10 CM.

We had a midwife for this one. None of us had planned this, but it was going so well that the midwife just put me in the receiving position and I did all the work. Midwife stepped in once to show me how to help scoop open the vaginal canal a little bit with a finger. I touched my daughter's head once she was crowning, and gave a little pull once the head was fully exposed. She dropped right into my arms. I pronounced that she was a girl, cut the cord, and held her to my naked chest while my wife and the midwife finished up and a nurse wiped all the goo off of her. Best day of my life.

Image credits: maralagosinkhole

#20

Louise from Bob's Burgers said it best. "It was like an angry softball pushing it's way out of a coin purse".

Image credits: MyWifeRules

#21

Happy. Scared. Tired. Anxious.

My wife was admitted for HELLP syndrome. Very mild, LFTs and PLT were marginally abnormal but, HELLP nonetheless. I felt helpless (no pun intended), all I could do was sit there and hold her hand, get her whatever she needed, help with anything I could. She basically had a magnesium drip from 8am to 9pm along with fluids. Foley. Epidural. I never left except to go to the cafeteria for food and once in the beginning to get the rest of our overnight stay stuff since we didn’t know what to expect when we came in.

There’s nothing I wouldn’t have done to take all that from her and bear it myself. Finally, 12/15/2020 @ 2150, our beautiful baby girl was born.

Wife had about 1250cc blood loss. Cytotec to help with the bleeding. No transfusions needed. Rest of her labs improved over the next 2-3 days to normal levels.

We were able to hold her for as long as we wanted after the initial checks were done. Wife and I exhausted, allowed the nursery RN to take our little girl so we could get some snooze time.

Finally, after a brief hospital stay that felt like forever, we were able to take our little girl home. Happiest and scariest day. I’m a healthcare provider myself but never pediatrics/newborns. Once the nurses weren’t there to tell me I was doing everything right or wrong haha I was scared. We managed though! She’s almost one year old. Healthy as can be, wife pregnant with our 2nd little girl, due around April.

Image credits: Santa_Claus77

#22

My wife had a scheduled C-section. I sat by her head with a curtain blocking the view to her abdomen. The nurse told me to stand up and look to see my son being born. I stood up in time to see my wife split open like fish and a nurse dragging my blue son out of her belly. Could see some of her internal organs as well. Nearly passed out, sat down heavily back on my stool, and did not look again.

#23

Surreal, joyous, terrifying, exhausting. Main memories are getting worried when heart rates dropped quickly with our first but that just turned out to be the probe not being stable.

Remember that as a man, although your job is important, it is by far the least important job in the room so shut up and do as you're told.

I remember being adamant I was gonna cut the cord for our eldest but when I was suddenly presented with the baby I just stood there mouth agape for about 10 seconds before the midwife did what needed to be done, but left a bit for me to cut later.

And I remember having the best nap ever in the hospital bed with my wife after a 10-12 hour labour for our second whilst my mother in law kept an eye on the baby even though she'd been there the whole time too.

And the look on my eldest's face as he met his little brother for the first time

#24

I've heard many guys say don't go in there, that it's bad. I can see how it might be for some. But it wasn't for me. I was there for the roller coaster ride. I almost passed out from how excited I was at seeing my son born. I sat down for a couple minutes, then was watching again.

Me and my ex are no longer together. But it was a happy memory, especially of my son. Love that kid.

#25

Amazing. Lots more people and machines involved than one might realize. Beautiful. Nothing like tv shows or movies. I cried. She cried. The baby cried. Lol. Even during our third, I still felt like they were not checking on us and moving quick enough - she deliver our first two before the doc even showed up. But not their fault - I'm sure they had a lot going on. Only 1 out of the 3 did the original doctor deliver.. not that big of a deal. An experience I wouldn't change for the world. Getting to hold them immediately. Just so wonderful.

#26

My wife was at one side of the dividing sheet chatting to the anesthesiologist like they're at a freakin' tea party. And the doctor doing the C-section is calling out to her, 'You might feel some pressure and movement here now' as they pull open the incision and pop the baby out like two football players pushing a basketball through a two-inch hole in a rubber sheet.
Then they held the gore-covered baby, with umbilical dangling, up towards me, — like Rafiki presenting Simba to the crowd in the 'Lion King' — and they ask proudly, 'What is it?' I'd strongly agree that you don't need to go down where the action is.

Despite that entirely unexpected turn in the birth, with the slightly 'Alien' movie-esque finish, it turned out to be my oldest daughter who I love greatly and who turned 14yo a couple of months ago.

#27

My wife and I had a NICU baby. He arrived at around 30 weeks — after my wife spent 5 weeks in the hospital because her water broke at 25 weeks. He was four pounds with all of the wires and tubes hooked up to him. That day was an absolute rollercoaster of emotions.

#28

For some reason, when my wife was pushing, the nurses left. She started contracting again so I told her friend to grab one leg and I grabbed the other — and told her to push like the nurses did. The nurses came back and didn't interfere and I ended up helping her deliver our daughter.

#29

We were waiting in the delivery room, the baby was taking its time. Both her and I would dose off between contractions. Once I woke up with the doctor coming into the room. She went and measured various things, my wife still asleep. I asked, "everything all right?" And the doctor replied "Yeah. Just checking. If you see a bunch of people coming in and barking orders at each other, pushing carts, then you can worry."

Of course an hour or so later the doors bang open, a bunch of people coming pushing carts and barking orders at each other. I tried to ask what was the problem and was told, in barking, to stay the f**k out of the way.

Turns out the baby was in distress. The doctor looked at some machines and decided to do a C-section. Wife's bed was wheeled into the OR, I was given a crash-course in scrubbing, told to go in and sit in a chair by her head. There was a curtain at about her neck line, so neither of us could see what was going on. We struck a conversation with the anesthesiologist, who was sitting near her head as well. She said she was feeling good. I knew the blood had totally drained from my head. I felt excited, worried, afraid, all at the same time. I tried to put on a brave façade, but I knew she could read right through me so she kept making conversation to calm me down.

At some point she said she felt something really strange, and right after we heard the baby crying. Tears welled up in both our eyes, just like they are doing now in mine 15 years later. She told me to keep the baby under my eyes at all times, for some reason she was terrified of the baby being switched.

So I wheeled my chair back and watched as they brought the screaming baby to a sink, cleaned him up, swaddled him and put a little cap on his head, at which point he fell asleep. Then they brought him to us and we got to say hello to our kid for the first time. The baby was weak from the struggle, so they put him in a wheeled incubator, put some monitors on his chest, and told me to push the incubator out of the OR and into the neonatal ICU nearby. On the way through the door, I met my mother in law. She looked at the baby, looked at me, and started to cry. I started to cry as well. Just like I'm crying now, 15 years later.

This is all very vivid in my head, but what happened immediately after is a blur. At some point we were in a recovery room, the baby was fine, the mother was fine, and some kind soul, I think a nurse, told me to change the baby's first diaper. She told me that nothing would be as gross as that first one, so if I could do that I would be fine. She also winked and told me that every diaper I changed I would be scoring points with my wife. And so I changed most of his diapers for as long as he needed diapers.

Image credits: wordserious

#30

C-section with twins and tubal ligation. She was on the table and I was sitting next to her head talking to her. She was bouncing around like she was in the back of a truck going down a bad dirt road as they were working on her. The sheet they put up to block our view was not effective for someone my height. They were up to their elbows in her. The doctor and I locked eyes for a moment and I realized she was waiting to see if I would faint or throw up, then went back to work. It really didn't seem gross except for the smell from the cauterization of her fallopian tubes and right at the end when a couple ladies are inventorying all the gauze etc to make sure nothing was left inside. They were putting them in little bags and hanging them on what reminded me of a convenience store display, (the ones that turn) for peanuts and jerky.

Image credits: peanutbuggered

#31

At about 4:00am my wife woke me up. She said her contractions signaled it was time to go. I snagged our bags and helped her to the car.

It was a stressful drive as the contractions were intense for my wife. When we got to the hospital they said they didnt immediately have a bed so they wanted her to wait a little. We wandered over to a Starbucks for a refeshment. However the contractions were so intense I had to carry my wife back to the hospital.

By the time we got a bed, my wife was crying from the pain and I was getting irritated with the nurses. They finally gave her something to lessen the pain so she could think again. Once she was herself again, she requested an epidural. That helped a lot and her pain was nearly gone.

Just an hour later she was completely dilated and the pain was back again. But now she could start pushing. I timed each of her contractions but by this time she knew what her body was doing and was in sync with the timing. She squeezed my hand until it l bruised and pushed.

Lots of stuff happened her. The baby's heartbeat got low, my wife tore and bled. After laboring for 7 hours, at 11:15am, our son was born. He was purple at first as he adjusted to being outside, but quickly turned normal pink color. My wife was exhausted but still needed to push out the placenta. She later told me that was easy. Our son was placed on her chest and the doctor worked to fix the tear and stop her bleeding.

Just some points from an outside perspective. You need to be your partner's advocate, defender, and supporter. That's your entire role in this. Have your partner write up a birth plan ahead of time and be ready to defend it against doctors and nurses. I had to raise my voice to get my wife some pain medication and a bed. I didnt like it, but I'd do it again to protect her.

Once everything is settled, snag a nice treat for the doctors and nurses. We bought them some indian food and a cheesecake in appreciation. They upgraded her recovery room.

Image credits: codemise

#32

I got to deliver my youngest son believe it or not. It was one of the coolest experiences of my life.

Image credits: SouthernEgyptian

#33

My wife and I have two kids. Each delivery room experience was different, though ended up great with happy, healthy kids and mom.

Kid 1 was about 5 hours of pushing. Some people say that the happiest day of their life is the birth of their child. My happiest day was my wedding day because I spent so much time worrying about the pain my wife was going through giving birth. When we got to the hospital for a planned delivery from her doctor's advice, she was already so far dilated that it was too late for drugs. She hadn't felt much pain yet, so we thought "maybe this will be easy."

Wrong.

My wife was pushing for hours, with some breaks in between. It was exhausting and stressful to watch. There was so much pressure pushing the baby out that my son had a somewhat bloodshot eye when he was born (he was fine). The nurses and I got bored with the routine of regular pushing that we were turning our attention to the TV in between while she rested, so I think of my son's birth when I see Guy Fieri. When the head was visible, they told me I could touch him before he came out and I said, "Um, I think I'll wait. I'm good."

The baby finally came out at about 11:30 PM. A newborn looks so much bigger than you imagine. How did that thing survive in my wife?! He had the cord around his neck, and they told me I could cut it, but I didn't want to risk anything. He was perfectly healthy. My wife was in tears, and, looking around at the blood in the room, I thought it was because she was in excruciating pain, but she said she was just so happy. The endorphins helped her and she was at peace and ended up fine.

Women are amazing and tough and if anyone ever calls my wife weak, I'll fight them for that day alone.

The hospital experience after that was actually really good! The nurses were great, my wife got everything she needed, people could visit. No complaints.

Our second son was a much easier birth. It was like a Hollywood movie in that she felt contractions, we went to the hospital, they got her the drugs, and the baby came out with relative ease.

Both kids were in great health, wife recovered well, but I developed a massive amount of respect for any woman who has given birth.

Image credits: ToeKneePA

#34

I watched the doctors perform a c section on my wife for the birth of our twins. Nothing could've prepared me for the gore I was about to see. It was wild. Didn't make me nauseous or anything thankfully. Nonetheless seeing both of my girls for the first time was incredible. I cried a whole lot. Holding them was an amazing feeling. It was interesting because after they got my first daughter, I heard the doctor say "where is she?" when looking for my second daughter in the womb. Had me a but nervous for a sec. She was just absolutely refusing to leave mom's belly because she was hiding and hanging on for dear life. It's ironic because now she is very independent and has always been ready to take on the world.

Image credits: youngyaret

#35

It’s the most amazing and beautiful thing in the world. I’d even consider becoming a midwife or doula myself if women would want that.

First one took ages and it wasn’t a great birth but throughout when my wife was resting between contractions I had convos with the midwife to learn about the process and how they know when the bins is coming. I had to go to the side for the first as his head was turned and they had to manually turn his head in the birth canal. 2nd was easy as three pushes and she was out. I held her leg up. The third the waters wouldn’t break and she ended up having him over the toilet. The midwives almost dropped him and my wife reached down and grabbed him. I cut the cord over the toilet and blood spurted up. I don’t think they’d clamped it properly. Then I took him to the heater whilst my wife went to the bed and did the after birth.

Image credits: Anijealou

#36

Emergency c section. Kid came out not breathing and heart not beating. Everything is happening so fast and everyone in the room knows what's going on except for me. 1/10 do not want to do that again.

Image credits: Rxton

#37

It was fine. It was stressful, for obvious reasons. My wife was in pain and I couldn't do anything about it. At times during the birth of my first son, the staff were clearly concerned about him. But it wasn't abnormally stressful.

Things I would advise:

* Pay attention to all the stuff the hospital advises you to bring for your wife. She could be there for hours. Make sure she has what she needs to be as comfortable as possible. Take, or arrange for someone else to bring, some of the food she has missed during pregnancy (for after the birth and when she is allowed to eat again).
* Discuss with your wife what pain-relief she wants if she finds she cannot bear the pain. Be realistic. My wife was dead set against an epidural and asked me to tell the staff as much, if she wasn't in the state to do it herself. In the event, she lay, as I thought, off her head on gas and air and moaning with pain. "I think she needs an epidural", said one of the the stuff. "Oh no," I piped up, "she asked me to tell you she doesn't want an injection in her spine, under any circumstances". At this point, my wife screamed like something from the Exorcist, "Yes, I f*****g do! Give me drugs. Get this f*****g thing out of me. Get a boxcutter and cut it f*****g out". The best-laid plans and all that...
* Decide how you intend to travel to the hospital and practice getting there using your chosen form of transport.
* For yourself, take a pillow, food and something to read. My wife's first labor took around 30 hours. For much of that time, she was out cold. I was left sitting on a hard chair, with no food and I soon got through my reading material.

Of course, it might be totally different for you. But better to have things and not need them than need them and not have them.

EDIT: the other thing I would say, is don't feel pressured to go down to the end where all the action is, unless your help is needed or your partner asks you to. One of the midwives was desperate to get me down there ("It's the miracle of birth!", "Look, it's your chance to see the placenta!"). My wife didn't need me down there. She wanted me holding her hand. I had no inclination to have a look. So why should anyone else hassle me to?

Image credits: anon

#38

My firstborn was born on my birthday. My main memory is my exhausted wife turning to me after the baby was born and saying “Next year you get an ice cream cake.”

Image credits: knockatize

#39

Possibly the most nerve-racking, emotionally-draining experience — and also the most excited I’ve ever been. The rush of love when you hold your new baby is amazing.

#40

We had a C-section, it was surreal to see my wife sliced open, inners pulled out if the way, AND SHE'S TALKING TO ME! Doc let me take pics.

The worst part was she told me to stay with the baby. Until she could be reunited with her mom, then I got word my wife's blood pressure was dropped dramatically and was conflicted but decided to trust the nurses with my daughter for a bit. Eventually the docs got her pressure up and honestly it probably wasn't a big deal, but it was a big deal to me.

Now my daughter is a broody gothish 13 year old that likes anime a bit too much

#41

A lot of waiting.

We had a room that allegedly came with a bed for the partner to sleep in, but had heard it sucks so we brought an air mattress.

After hours of waiting my wife said I should sleep. So I fell asleep and then woke up from a dead sleep to the birth starting.

I stood on the side and I guess looked like I was going to pass out because the doctor immediately said I needed to sit. So I sat a minute and then got back into the fray. I held a leg while the baby came out. Then I held her for a moment and she got passed to my wife. After that it's mostly a blur since the baby stage is a walking nightmare

#42

We have one child. Watching my wife deliver our daughter was the greatest moment of my adult life. It felt like a switch had been flipped. I had been scared I wouldn't know how to be a Dad but in that moment I suddenly found my calling.

The full labor portion was only about 40 minutes. Plus the birth was 6 weeks early. We didn't know lamaz and my daughter came so quickly everything felt like chaos. I watched my daughter be delivered and it was astounding in every way. My body had so many chemicals rushing through it I felt high and no anxiety at all. I felt a deep love for everyone in the room and was so lucky to be there to share those first moments of contact with my wife and daughter.

10/10 highly recommend being in the room and participating as much as possible.

#43

It was a whirlwind... so much happening all at once, then nothing happens for a long time, then an explosion of activity... as the dad you really have very little to do, so just as you start to feel really useless. It's time to step up and help her push... its a s**tshow at that point (sometimes literally), I always respected her but after that... new heights my friend, there is of course blood and fluid but the sheer amounts are crazy. Then there is this tiny person who frankly looks squished and pissed off. all the women surround them and you are pushed out, this is an evolutionary thing and it happens in all primates so do not take it personally. then you get to hold a person and they have no idea who the hell you are. The afterbirth is a thing no one prepares you for and it is purple, gross, and huge, they just chuck it in a bowl and it sits there for a while and they take it away. I was reeling after a while.

#44

We were all in the delivery room: my wife, her sister, her mom, my mom, my grandma, myself and the nurse. At one point, my wife exclaimed: "Enough! Everyone out!"

I saw to it that everyone left the room (her mom didn't want to at first), and wanted to be the last one out, to which I received a quick "Not you, you idiot!" I never felt so wanted.

#45

I saw blood, got woosy and the doctors rushed over to me for a hot second. Embarrassed as hell but I got a beautiful daughter out of it

#46

Wife had a c-section

I was sooo much more worried about my wife than I was exited about my daughter.

Glad my mother in law was there to hold baby while I held my wife’s hand. Wife looked so awful due to the anesthesia and I just wanted to make sure she was ok

#47

Honestly, I felt like a third wheel wheel the entire time. We were in the hospital at the crack of dawn on my first child and I fell asleep while we were waiting for everything to progress, copped some nasty comments from the midwife about that.

I mostly just held my partners hand, got her snacks, etc. Once delivery started in earnest I held up legs, etc and cut the umbilical cord which was amazing. I wouldn't have missed it for the world but I have 2 kids now and both times I just felt like I was getting in everyones way.

#48

Most of it's pretty boring to be honest. We were in the hospital for about 20 hours before my wife delivered our first and about 8 hours before she delivered our second. We walked around some, talked when she was feeling up for it, watched a little TV, even caught a couple hours of sleep. Essentially you're just waiting for the labor to progress at that point.

Once she was fully dilated and started pushing is when things got hectic. She pushed both of them out very quickly. 30 minutes with our first and about 15 minutes with our second. With the first I was holding her hand, helping her count, encouraging her, general stuff like that. What struck me the most is that once she got to the pushing stage the painful part was kind of past and it was just hard physical labor at that point. My wife confirmed the same thing afterward.

With our second the baby was in some distress. Her heart rate had started dropping. My wife's OB hadn't gotten there yet since he was helping deliver another baby in a different room. The floor resident who was overseeing things wasn't handling it great and was in the process of calling down to have an OR prepped for an emergency C-section when the OB finally showed up. He was cool as a cucumber and said there was no need for a C-section and that my wife could probably push her out faster than they could get things set up. And he was right. 5 minutes later and my daughter was born healthy as a horse.

I watched both my kids be born. It's a weird experience let me tell you. It's bloody and gross and intensely biological, but it's also one of the coolest things I've ever seen. There's surprisingly little blood but quite a lot of other bodily fluids. The human body is pretty amazing sometimes.

#49

I was right there when my daughter was born. I was the first person she saw. It was the best experience of my life.

#50

The longest few seconds you will ever experience..... the time between delivery and when the baby cries or takes its first breath. The relief when the baby's colour scheme changes from bloody smurf to warm pink.

The closest moments that I have ever felt to my wife & the proudest that I have ever felt towards my wife.

With the first baby the crushing weight of responsibility mixed with the infinite potential of the life just begun.

#51

Jarring, a lot of action in the final moments. Some shouting, a lot of noises, instructions by the nurses were blurs of sound. It’s was very intense.

#52

It was an emergency cesarean after the induction worked a little too well.

Even though I was a hospital employee and used the staff change room before, they refused to let me in to the staff change room. I didn't know where else I could change into my scrubs. I was also told to wait by the door to the Operating Room even though when I am at work, I'm used to walking right up to the red line. Both of those created enough of a delay that I nearly missed all the fun.

Once I got in, I felt completely useless. They gave me a square foot to stand in, and my job was to stay there and watch helplessly as the team reamed on my wife's belly to push out baby out, watch helplessly as the doctor stood on my wife's oxygen supply tube, and watch helplessly as my wife vomited.

Seeing the OR team musically count all their tools to make sure none were left inside was neat.

I'm guessing they turned the placenta pretty side up for my benefit. I saw the ugly side as I was whisked away to follow my son out of the room. ("*You!* Follow him!" -- How easy it is to forget the guy you cry to when your OR computer is broken)

All of that didn't matter once I got to hold my son a minute later. The nurse there was a family friend.

#53

My son was born around 2am and they were trying to call our doctor to wake him. They called probably 10 times before calling the backup doctor who lived literally 8 minutes away. Anyways…my son started coming out and I remember tossing my phone off to the side and jumping in front to catch him. I was covered in blood and I got to be the first one to hold him. That adrenaline tho.

#54

My wife and I had our baby during COVID-19, so it was just the two of us there, no visitors, and if I left the nurses said they wouldn't let me back in. But they also had a policy of only making food for the mother, not anyone else. Go figure.


We were being induced because my wife had some alarming blood pressure fluctuations right on our due date and so the doctors were trying to speed things up in a controlled environment. The induction didn't take, so we sat around for two days with no change.


On day 3, our doctor came in and abruptly broke my wife's water, saying that she had to leave at noon for vacation and that it was time to move things along, and don't worry after the water is broken babies always start moving. Ours did not, and so the doctor left for vacation without seeing us again while my wife had her water broken and was not dialating beyond 4cm. At this point she had been having some painful contractions from the induction meds for a solid 18 hours, but they were all noN productive contractions.


We get a new doctor in and he doesn't want to do anything hastily since he just got on our case, so we waited for another day (going well past the 24 hour mark after her water was broken, which is a big risk of infection). We told the new doctor that at this point we're okay with a c section since my wife is getting worn out going into 30 hours of labor and she's been on an epidural for so long that it's starting to mess her up. The doctor wants us to continue waiting because surely any minute now the baby will start to move.


Nope. We hit day 4 and my wife is still having unproductive contractions and her water has been broken for 30 hours. At this point nurses have not been coming to our room so I've been going out and getting them to come check on my wife. Good thing too, because my wife starts shaking uncontrollably and spikes a fever of 104. Nurses and an anesthesiologist who happened to be nearby rush in and find that she has a severe infection now since her water has been broken for so long. She gets flooded with meds and fluids to try and break the fever and once the doctor arrives she is rushed in for an emergency c section.


I was right there with her when they got the baby out and the first time I heard her cry I start crying myself. I show our daughter to my wife but she is so out of it at this point she's barely conscious. I took the baby back to the care room where she was washed up, got her shots, and I just couldn't take my eyes off of her. After she was cleaned I got to carry her back to our room and wait quietly with her for my wife to come out of surgery and I got the honor of introducing my wife to our baby and it was absolutely magical.


Our hospital experience was a nightmare, we have been told that we should sue for the doctor taking off for vacation, the new doctor waiting for my wife to get an infection, the nurses not checking on us when they should've, and for the policy of not feeding people in the rooms, but at the end of the six days we were there we got the most amazing daughter out of it and she's safe.

#55

We get there in the evening. She gets a hospital bed. They take vitals and get her hooked up to machines. We hang out for the first night. I sleep on the couch. They come in every couple of hours to check on her. They give meds the next day to induce labor. The nurse visits come more frequently. Finally a doc comes in and doesn't leave. More people start coming in. Doctor says it's time to start. The room fills with people and machines. I hold wife's hand. A lot of sympathy for my wife. Hope every push she does pops the kid out. After the millionth push the baby comes out. Then it gets crazy. They grab me to cut the cord. Placed on mom's chest for a moment.. then Pass the baby around from machine to machine. I reach out while she is laying there and her hand grabs my finger. I start crying. They clean the baby up and start working on nursing. After a bit the room clears out. They move us all to another room. Spend the night wondering what the hell just happened and what the hell are we going to do. They just want her to rest. The next day they were like gtfo.

#56

Yesterday was my youngest’s birthday. He’s 22 now.

To your question, my eldest was born 2.5 years earlier than my son. She was 5 weeks premature so there was some concern for her health. It turns out that my wife was very quick to dilate and go into labor, both times. We were in the hospital about an hour and a half before she delivered.

We also had only one Lamaze class before that so we weren’t very prepared. The OBGYN was in the building and had to rush to us. She walked in the room already in scrubs and my wife told the doctor she had to push. The doctor said, “Don’t push!” and got into place.

It didn’t take very long after that for my daughter to be born. I remember watching her crown and then her head sticking out. After they got one arm out all it took was one more push and she was born.

I didn’t get to cut the cord. Because she was a premie they took her away and started running tests on her. I followed her into the NICU and don’t remember much after that. It was all so quick.

My daughter was born on a Monday, but stayed in the NICU for 6 days. We finally got to take her home on Saturday. She was jaundiced as well so we kept her in the sunlight as much as possible.

My son was a full term baby but my wife had a condition whose name I don’t recall where she was constantly morning sick throughout the pregnancy. She was puking as he was being born. And as soon as he was out it went away.

We had a normal stay with him. Again the details are fuzzy. He was born at like 2:40 am and I was exhausted. I’m sure my wife was even more tired.

#57

With my son, we waited, wife was in pain eventually got the epidural and immediately went under the effects of it. Thought tailbone was in the way of pushing him out so they tried to break it (she still has tailbone pain from this). Anywho finally as we're starting to think maybe we're gonna have to C-section him, out comes my son. He kinda twists on his way out we make eye contact and my son and I gave each other a "what the f**k" look. They took him and cleaned him up and we got to hold him a bit later.

#58

I guess if I was to sum it up in three words:

Amazing, memorable and bonding.

I would have been devastated had my partner not wanted me in the room but fortunately she did. I couldn't imagine not having that amazing moment together when you meet your child. *I'm not crying, you're crying* Still brings a tear to my eye thinking about it.

#59

Baby #1 - my wife worked at the hospital, so we had to sneak her in otherwise the whole damn place would have been in or around that room. First kid didn't cry hardly at all - major intake of embryotic fluid during delivery had him breathing raspy for the first two days.

Baby #2 - my wife had been fighting a couple of health issues, non-threatening but caused issues for a few weeks leading up to us going in. Issues also with the previous hospital lead us to a different hospital that was known for how well they delivered babies. Heard a nurse in the room next to us yell at a husband who was obviously about to pass out "sit your a*s down in that chair". Wife and I both giggled. Our delivery went perfectly smooth and we actually went home a day earlier than anticipated.

Baby #3 - major complications during pregnancy (3 surgeries over 8 days while 15 weeks pregnant and out of town) had us on high anxiety as time got close. In the room, had a new-ish nurse to L&D working with us that wanted us to do a few practice pushes. Wife and I both laughed audibly, which I think upset the nurse a bit. So, two practice pushes later, that nurse got to catch her first baby.

#60

Not at all what I was expecting. I was always led to believe everything would happen slowly and there would be a lot of waiting round but not in our case.

Mrs thescouselander had a silent labour so it was a surprise when her waters broke 3 weeks early but once they did all s**t broke loose and the contractions suddenly became very frequent. I drove her to the hospital as fast as I could and dropped her at the door and once I'd parked and got into the room it was almost all over. All I could do was offer my hand which she squeezed with superhuman strength until the process was over about 5 minutes later.

It was all a bit of a blur TBH.

#61

My wife had a water birth. I was allowed in the water as well and was given a sieve. This is a joke right? Oh no it wasn’t.

It was like being in a trench in the Somme. S**t and blood everywhere.

#62

Only been in during C-Sections, and honestly, it just happened so fast that it was tough to really comprehend much of anything. She asked for a mirror so she could watch the whole thing. I was able to go back and for to watch or be by her head. Kind of interesting. One second there are two of you, then there are three.

#63

Okay i haven't seen this and nobody warned me about this, and maybe its not a big deal for most and I have always been verys sensitive to this kind of thing but the smell. It is the strangest and not a very pleasant smell in my opinion. No it wasn't poop or anything from pushing because we ended up doing an emergency c section and when the baby came out i was overwhelmed with this strange smell.

#64

There was a lot of waiting for the first ome. The smell in the air was weird, when it was time to go it was like a controlled chaos all around.

She had to get cut, and I'll always remember the sound. I remember seeing my boy for the first time, and it was scary.

The second one was worse, a planned section. The waiting was ner