I just got back from visiting a friend. Sammy (not real name), a guy I met three weeks ago has been using all forms of machinations to get me out of the single industry. The short visit I made to his house inspired today’s post.
When I got there, my bachelor was busy in the kitchen (husband material) so I decided to go through his DVD collection.
What I saw there weakened me.
Beneath the stacks of movies lay several porn movies.
Before you hiss at men, the pn collection he had were in series!
Cmon, who buys pn in Season1, Season2, Season3?
I’m not even going to mention the ridiculous titles of the movies.
Which sane mortal watches a 5 hour movie of people having s*x without getting tired?
I don’t mean to castigate anyone and I am not saying I have never seen a pn movie before.
In short, I remember the first time I saw one. I’ll rather not mention how old I was then. It was called blue film back in those days and the actors took their jobs really serious unlike the lazy ones we have today.
I went to my neighbour’s house and asked him to give me the most interesting movie in his collection. Unknown to me, the idiot handed me a video cassette of a blue film. I got home and called out my whole family to come see ‘a very interesting movie’ with me.
Daddy came out, Mummy came out, Big Sister came out.
As soon as I slot it in,
The first thing I heard without actual visuals were
“Oh yeah baby, I wanna ride that c**k”
My father’s tone was deadly
”NSG! YOU ARE VERY STUPID! BRING OUT THAT VIDEO BEFORE I DEAL WITH YOU”
The living room was quiet and my mummy gave me that ‘you’ve failed me my daughter’ look.
What exactly is wrong with the movie I wondered.
I gave my dad the cassette and ran off to my room.
That night, NSG could not sleep! I heard several voices in my head saying the same thing.
”Oh yeah baby, I wanna ride that ck”
The same torture continued the next day.
The last page of my exercise books were not spared since I love writing random stuffs there.
‘Oh yeah baby, I wanna ride that ck’
I wrote that on every writing material I came across.
I had to satisfy this curiosity. I strategized a means to steal the cassette from my parents room.
Finally, I found it hidden in a stack of clothes!
Venue was the living room, 1am was the time. A few minutes to 1am, I begged my female cousin (a year older than me), my partner in crime to join me cos I was afraid of the horror I was gonna find out alone.
I slotted it in the long anticipated video.
To cut the long story short, after watching for 20 minutes I started sweating.
The movie left my naive mind with unanswered questions.
-The movie director didn’t use a blue background and the cassette was black. why then was it was called Blue film?
-Why did each session come to an end after the ‘pap’ came out of the man’s wiwi?
I got up, gave my cousin one look and we took out the movie.
We avoided each other for the next one week and we were both too embarrassed to discuss the movie.
Predictable movies like pn makes me wonder what exactly is addictive in that.
I mean we know what the actors are going to do in the movie, we know how its going to end, we’ve all seen nudes before yet someone out there still had the guts to buy stacks of pn in series.