I always get caught in this feelings. Is almost a cycle, I'm at the top of my expectation and then I make myself fall really hard on the ground.
Why I keep doing this to myself? Why I always destroy what I work so hard for?
I mess up my school stuff, I distance myself from the people who care. I've made this barrier of excuses, of idealism I know I can't archive because I'm so insecure of letting go, risk myself, or just messed up things really hard.