2024-03-15 14:45
“Do you have a comb on you?” a frenzied British voice asks me.
Huh?
I’ve just entered the ladies room of a restaurant on the Turkish coast. I’ve never been here befor… Read More
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Expat Life | Humor | Adventures Living Abroad Blog
lifeintheexpatlane.com
I, Miss Footloose, am a professional writer and pen lighthearted tales of my (mis)adventurous living abroad in exotic places.
2024-02-13 11:15
I met my American prince long ago. He’d traveled across the ocean to my native Holland and we romanced in Amsterdam. Later he proposed on a moonlit piazza in Rome, and the year after w… Read More
2024-02-10 14:30
Once upon a time in my expat life, during a visit to the United States to stock up on underwear, books and vitamins, I found myself reading a children’s book to a little boy, a five-ye… Read More
2023-10-06 10:30
Have you ever observed Dutch children? Visiting my family and friends in the Netherlands (aka Holland) is sometimes an interesting experience, especially seeing how the little Dutch tikes be… Read More
2023-09-04 14:39
My French village is not in the guidebooks. It’s not a postcard village, you know, a tourist place on steroids with balconies dripping flowering plants, with cutesy boutiques and past… Read More
2023-08-02 14:00
Do you live the itinerant expat life? Do you safari from country to country? Then you will know the joys of expat housing, and appreciate how fascinating, frustrating, discombobulating it of… Read More
2023-07-09 15:40
A Fool Abroad
What is one of the most embarrassing things you have ever done? This was a question I was asked recently and it wasn’t hard to answer. As an expat I sure know how to make… Read More
2023-01-05 14:30
It’s upsetting to me, dear reader, to come across posts and articles about how unfriendly, rude and blunt the Dutch are. Blunt, I get. We are a down-to-earth, direct lot. But rude? Unf… Read More
2022-12-26 15:30
If you’re a turkey you’re not lucky if you live in the United States.
Pride and Arrogance
Around the world, Christmas celebrations usually involve a big, fancy meal. In the US th… Read More
2022-11-20 16:15
Have you ever had a black hole soup day? You know, one of these days when nothing useful happens, nothing works, someone tries to kill you, and you can’t think of anything to write abo… Read More
2022-09-24 17:00
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
While living in Ghana, West Africa, an American friend and I decided to study the contemporary art scene in Accra, the capital. Now, before you read this… Read More
2022-09-02 16:05
As an expat or a traveler, have you ever found yourself looking for medical treatment in an unusual, interesting or scary place? I expect you probably have a tale or two, possibly not all of… Read More
2022-03-16 16:45
Pregnant abroad?
Myths about how (not) to get pregnant are plentiful all over the world. If you want to get pregnant, don’t eat eggs, but do eat lots of peanuts, and drink shuddersome… Read More
2022-02-15 14:35
Town of Ostuni, southern Italy
One day I did something bad. I did it in Italy, where many nice people do bad things because the red tape of their infamous bureaucracy leaves them no choice… Read More
2021-09-14 08:25
As a foreigner living the expat life you have the fabulous opportunity to go shopping in new and exciting places like exotic foreign markets. Yes, I can hear your groans coming from various… Read More
2021-08-08 16:40
Do you like to smile? Well, be serious for a moment!
To Smile or not to smile? Tatik-papik: Armenian statue.
I’m sure you know that if you’re a globetrotter or an expat you invar… Read More
2021-02-21 10:35
Remember we used to travel by plane? Crossing continents and time zones. Slogging our sleep-deprived bodies through airports, our minds foggy and disoriented. Getting totally wasted and jet… Read More
2021-02-11 15:30
What could go wrong here?
Telephone trials, Internet aggravations, Skype struggles, communication tribulations of all sorts – we’ve all had them. Some are more fun than others. W… Read More
2020-12-20 17:00
The town of Bethlehem is not what you might imagine, at least it isn’t what I had imagined when I visited there while living the expat life in Ramallah, Palestine–before Anno C… Read More
2020-10-18 09:58
She stood in front of me in tears, our number two daughter, four years old. Sadly, expat children don’t always realize how privileged they are to be living such an exotic educational l… Read More
2020-10-03 19:00
I made this myself!
Do you love really good bread, the crusty variety? Me too. While we live in foreign countries, most of us expats learn to enjoy some of the food that is on offer in our n… Read More
2020-09-19 14:30
What do you want to see and do when you travel abroad?
Not small stuff
St. Basil’s Cathedral in Moscow. No, I haven’t been there.
Do you visit museums, famous buildings, cathedra… Read More
2020-09-08 09:50
This is terrible!
When you live abroad, you often meet other expats from all kinds of national and cultural backgrounds. Fascinating people, boring people, off-center types, wacky ones and a… Read More
2020-07-05 11:50
Are your foreign vacation plans in ruins? Don’t you dare get on a plane? Won’t the country let you out or in? It must be the summer of the year 2020. So your choice may be to sta… Read More
2020-06-08 19:00
Is your hair out of control? Are you desperate for a hair cut? This is the infamous year 2020 and you may well be out of luck with all the hair salons closed in your corner of the globe. If… Read More
2020-05-17 19:20
The fun of eating out! (Photo used by permission.)
Do you adore whiling away summer evenings on a sidewalk café? Enjoy eating out in restaurants? Love sharing a glass of wine with fri… Read More
2020-05-12 18:59
Caution indeed!
Do you feel trapped? Locked up? Stuck at home? Well, it is the year 2020 and you’re not alone. Once upon a time, before 2020, in a land far away, I also found myself tr… Read More
2020-03-08 11:25
Are you stressed and worried about the state of the world? Need a little distraction? Have a look at the fabulous, the funky, and the freaky stuff to be found everywhere. The world is a wond… Read More
2020-02-13 19:55
Lots of bare bottoms everywhere. Sometimes the back is more interesting than the front
There’s a lot of wonderful decadence in Italy, from bare-bottom statues to scrumptious food. If y… Read More
2020-02-03 15:50
You love cocktail parties, don’t you? If you’re an expat you probably adore the ones sponsored by embassies and big international companies where everybody has sold his or her so… Read More
2020-01-18 17:00
What have you overheard at the airport lately? Eavesdropping on other people’s conversations is not nice, I’m sure your mother told you so. But airports are full of conversations… Read More
2020-01-04 20:05
If you’ve watched TV lately, I am sure you’re in need of something a bit tamer right now so you can smooth out your frazzled nerves. Here then a story of a day in my life in the… Read More
2019-12-31 20:00
As many of my readers around the world probably know, I grew up in the Netherlands. Happy as I was there, I had a travel bug and luckily ended up hitched to a globetrotting American who took… Read More
2019-12-14 14:15
Are you living abroad, a foreigner living in an alien land? As an expat, surely, you have times when you hanker for familiar foods from your home country, things like Twinkies, pickled herri… Read More
2019-12-06 19:43
No, this is not really me.
Certain Americans will think it is my (and others’) misfortune not to have been born American, but what can I say? It’s not my fault I was spawned in t… Read More
2019-11-23 11:30
How can you be crabby on a balmy Italian summer evening sitting on a moonlit terrace with a stunning view of the Bay of Naples?
I asked myself that question one night, when my prince and I w… Read More
2019-11-09 19:00
There’s a Dutchman somewhere here.
When you travel the world and live in alien places as an expat one thing becomes clear very soon: You cannot get away from Dutch people. Not that you… Read More
2019-10-27 11:05
Miss Footloose loves humorous and interesting quotations about expat life and travel. And since she needs a break from story telling she decided to share some of her gems with you.
Some peop… Read More
2019-10-19 08:45
Stay out of the way, sweetheart!
My life in Ghana, West Africa, was an expat adventure in many ways. It had wonderful people in it who went out of their way to make my daily life easy and co… Read More
2019-10-05 18:00
Are you like me and want to live in paradise? How greedy we are. Not to speak of unrealistic. There is no paradise. I know this, but when my man and I started looking for where to live abroa… Read More
2019-09-20 18:00
Furious screaming rent the air. It followed me out into the sunny morning: Expat trouble was upon me.
As an expat of the Trailing Spouse Tribe, I sometimes get opportunities to visit places… Read More
2019-09-06 19:00
Have you ever eaten worms? While living the expat life in Ghana, West Africa, I once accompanied my husband on a short business trip to Harare, Zimbabwe. Having done my research, I was eager… Read More
2019-08-26 09:59
I’m done. I’m suffering from ELF (Expat Life Frustrations) and I’ve had it with my expat life. I’m ready to call my prince at his office and tell him I’m leavin… Read More
2019-08-11 16:15
Wouldn’t you think that finding olive oil in Palestine would be easy? Of course you would. But I have news for you: It isn’t. Well, it wasn’t for me (serial expat rel… Read More
2019-07-28 19:00
“I want to go abroad,” I told my husband one steamy tropical day after we’d been living in Ghana, West Africa for what seemed like ages and I was beginning to suffer a bit… Read More
2019-07-19 13:30
No worries — it’s not me who’s weird, broken and headless. On second thought maybe weird does apply: Being an expat and living in foreign countries is often considered weir… Read More
2019-07-06 17:00
How to live a simpler life? Slower? More Zen-like? In a place with good food and wine and lots of sunshine? A few years ago we came up with an answer:
We moved to a French village, my prince… Read More
2019-06-30 10:35
I so love meeting unusual people, don’t you? And I love funky eating and drinking experiences. It’s been my great fortune to do a lot of sojourning in foreign countries where you… Read More
2019-06-14 16:30
Old fashioned Dutch knit underwear. No it’s not mine. Painting by Jopie Huisman
As an expat, do you buy underwear in your host country? No? Maybe you don’t speak the language, or… Read More
2019-05-26 14:05
Where in the world is it?
Certain things you do in your expat life don’t seem so strange at all until you stop and realize what you’re doing. And then it hits you: What a crazy l… Read More
2019-05-18 18:10
When you live abroad, visiting home as an expat can be fun (or difficult or stressful, but I’m going with fun here.) How do you see your home town? Do you have a camera? One of these f… Read More
2019-04-30 09:30
A car drives up. Someone opens the trunk. I see what’s inside. Oh, no . . .
Do you like picnics? Barbecues? Sure you do. If you live in the world of gourmet supermarkets, supermercados… Read More
2019-04-14 17:30
Bali serenity
I’m sure you’ve heard expats or tourists talk about the Indonesian island of Bali. How magical it is, this island of rice paddies and beaches, of temples and festiv… Read More
2019-04-07 16:50
Mozzarella girls
Do you love mozzarella? I mean real mozzarella?
If you’re not a lucky expat living in Italy, have you ever had the good fortune of visiting the Naples area and being i… Read More
2019-03-31 12:00
For reasons only known to the gods of cyberspace, I came upon multiple posts one day dealing with expat nightmares and struggles concerning foreign toilets or facsimiles. Once caught in that… Read More
2019-03-17 18:50
I have yearnings to be a minimalist. A minimalist expat. Then I wouldn’t have to deal with all those possessions that get bagged and boxed and shipped and stored and…
The post E… Read More
2019-03-04 19:59
As an expat living and (not) sleeping in foreign climes, I’ve developed a thing about mattresses. If you’re a globetrotter I’m sure you’ve had your own adventures bed… Read More
2019-02-16 19:30
Living the expat life in an exotic country, you often come across these small mysteries and quirky events that brighten your day. My life in Ghana was full of fun and funky experiences. Chec… Read More
2019-01-07 19:12
The problem with food is that, no matter in what obscure corner of the planet you find yourself, you’ve got to have it. And in order to have it, you have to find it, and then somehow p… Read More
2018-12-30 14:00
Spain: Eating twelve grapes in twelve seconds.
On New Year’s Eve, spectacular public fireworks are set off in many countries to celebrate the New Year, but there are many other fun cus… Read More
2018-12-01 15:00
Are you tired? Are you living abroad (or not) and feeling stressed out? Are you worried about the state of the world? Do you need a laugh, a little fun? Okay, for a bit of endorphins therapy… Read More
2018-11-18 19:40
Have you ever visited a tropical rainforest? A rain forest like Kakum National Park in Ghana, West Africa? They’ve got a canopy walkway high above the forest floor. So one day while we… Read More
2018-11-04 12:00
As an ( expat ) foodie, have you ever done something so dangerous, that afterward you are stunned by the stupidity of what you have done?
I like to think of myself as a person of normal int… Read More
2018-10-12 07:20
Ever been in trouble traveling in a foreign country? Easy to do if you forget to use your common sense. Here we are, dumb expats on a bush road in Uganda, stopped by a drunk policeman. This… Read More
2018-09-28 17:00
Do you think traveling in foreign countries is exciting? Well, it certainly can be, but sometimes as an expat or a globetrotter you get more excitement than you bargained for. Here’s t… Read More
2018-09-21 14:00
As an expat or a traveler do you worry about the food in foreign countries? About what to eat or not to eat? What is healthy, what is not?
Insalate di polpo, Italian octopus salad, is delici… Read More
2018-08-31 15:52
As foreigners in alien lands we often come across cultural customs, habits and behaviors that baffle us, charm us, annoy us, or creep us out altogether. Generally we like to adjust and parti… Read More
2018-08-17 17:31
Does the garden of your mind bloom with the weeds of clichés, stereotypes, and generalizations? No? Mine does. And in my expat life this has led to lots of surprises, problems and fun… Read More
2018-07-26 17:00
I know you’ll find this hard to believe, but I’m a very innocuous looking person. There’s nothing suspicious, strange or fabulously exotic about my physical person. You&rsq&hell…Read More
2018-07-06 18:56
When you’re an expat living in a foreign country it’s often a challenge to find the things you need or want. Shops are different, food is not what you’re used to, appliance… Read More
2018-06-22 14:40
Don’t get in the car with him
Warning: If you’re on your way to visit Rome, don’t read this.
Our Italian driver is not of the Armani suit tribe. Carlo wears comfy jeans, ha… Read More
2018-06-10 15:08
Did I get scammed? Because I’m an expat, a foreigner? I’m not sure. It was a sparkling spring day in Armenia, where once upon a time I sojourned for a good number of years as an… Read More
2018-05-16 18:30
Looking at the world
Do you love your own country, warts and all? Do you actually know your own country’s warts? As a traveler or an expat you discover the idiosyncrasies of othe… Read More
2018-05-05 18:45
Tell me, what do you think of Gypsies? Or should we even say Gypsies? Roma people is the more pc name I’ve heard. I live in France right now and a recent discussion about the Roma peop… Read More
2018-04-22 07:55
Who loves oysters? Raw on the shell? Grilled with a yummy sauce?
Living in the south of France near the Mediterranean coast, I’m surrounded by a culinary scene awash in oysters, musse… Read More
2018-04-08 12:00
The Far East is full of mysteries. I’m sure you’ve heard. For expats and travelers this can be fun, fascinating, frustrating, or infuriating as I discovered myself. For two years… Read More
2018-03-31 08:00
. . . you go to check up on the house back home.
You get on a plane. You’re an expat living in a foreign country many time zones away from the house you own in another country. You&rsq&hell…Read More
2018-03-18 19:36
I found myself on my knees one day cleaning not only a bidet, but also a urinal (so elegantly called a pissoir by the French). This event took place in Moldova where I lived my expat life at… Read More
2018-03-11 19:31
Are you an expat shopaholic? Me, not so much. Unless I find myself in unfamiliar and exotic places, and then I love discovering the kind of funky things for sale I would never find in the sh… Read More
2018-03-02 20:00
Just a lovely little street in Rome
Expat life has its rewards, like finding yourself in Rome for a long weekend because you’re domiciling in a country not too far away from Italy and… Read More
2018-02-17 07:48
Are you a restaurant junkie? Do you like unique eating experiences in funky places? Me too. Expats are lucky people because they often have many opportunities to find the fabulous and the fl… Read More
2018-02-09 21:00
Don’t you love taking risks? It makes life so exciting and interesting! Okay, I’m not talking about the risks of the life-and-death variety, but the small ones that might land yo… Read More
2018-01-31 20:45
What’s fun about expat life is seeing things. The little, ordinary things that are not ordinary to you, or that for some reason catch your foreign eye. I lived in Moldova for a couple… Read More
2018-01-22 08:40
Once upon a time in a far away tropical country, in the early beginnings of my expat life, I baked a simple cake–a light, lovely, lemony cake. But baking a simple cake, I’ll have… Read More
2018-01-21 08:42
Are you an expat or a globetrotter? Don’t you just love quotations about living abroad? Ernest Hemingway had a certain view, but perhaps not one all of us might share. Certainly not Mi… Read More
2018-01-15 08:28
My friend Olivia brought me two bags of green split peas from Dubai. Green pearls! It might seem odd that while visiting the most luxurious and decadent shopping emporiums in the world, one… Read More
2018-01-01 08:00
An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. ~Bill Vaughan
Happy New Year! I gathered up, for your enjoyment, and… Read More
2017-12-22 13:30
Would you go live in Ramallah, in Palestine? My prince and I lived there quite happily for a while and I’d like to offer you the tale of another one of my little adventures.
Ramallah:… Read More
2017-12-12 18:00
Don’t you just love learning a foreign language? It is so much fun! Okay, it’s also exasperating, difficult and often confusing. I am now learning French, and I know whereof I sp… Read More
2017-12-02 13:07
An Armenian dermatologist once told me not to bathe for a week. I found this medical advice a bit problematic.
When you travel around the world and live in foreign countries, you hope you do… Read More
2017-11-14 16:17
I arrived in exotic Ghana puking my guts out. Not an auspicious beginning for a new expat life in West Africa. But don’t worry, this was some time ago. I remember this not-so-charming… Read More
2017-11-03 17:00
Just one micro-second of inattention and you’re in trouble. One moment of not thinking and you manage to get yourself in a problem situation. Okay, that’s saying the same thing t… Read More
2017-10-26 15:55
The writing life is hell, I’m sure you agree. Today I am so uninspired, so uninspired, I . . . I can’t even finish this sentence. I don’t feel like writing. I can’t s… Read More
2017-01-10 18:02
Oh, the trials of holiday travel! Have you spent time in airports and airplanes this holiday season, crossing time lines and oceans? Many expats do. Much as you might detest being squashed i… Read More
2017-01-04 15:10
Spain: Eating twelve grapes in twelve seconds
Are you finished and done with 2016? Me too. Let me show you how the rest of the world celebrates the beginning of a new year.
In many countrie… Read More
2016-11-07 19:08
As a traveler or an expat sojourning in foreign climes you sometimes come across information, news, or happenings from your home country that just make you burst with pride.
Hailing from the… Read More
2016-09-02 12:35
In what sort of weird or unusual places have you ever spent the night? I’ve slept in many dwellings around the world in my globetrotting expat life, even in a place of worship, a chape… Read More
2016-08-21 10:16
Something creepy happened to me while I was innocently living the expat life in Moldova a few years ago. Yes, Moldova is a country. The capital is Chișinau (I thought you might want to… Read More
2016-08-13 15:45
When you’re living the good life abroad, let’s say in Ghana, West Africa, your expat friends there often have fascinating stories to tell. Here’s a pearl of a tale my frien… Read More
2016-08-01 17:00
Only twelve ways we expats have more fun, you ask? I know, there are many more, but do you want to read a list of a hundred? No, I didn’t think so. So here’s twelve:
ONE: You hav… Read More
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