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Blog Directory  >  Arts & Entertainment Blogs  >  TV & Film Blogs  >  Screen Goblin | Get your stinking screen off me you damn dirty goblin tv-and-film Blog  > 

Run Lola Run
2024-03-25 07:50
Lola (Franka Potente) has 20 minutes to come up with 100,000 marks in this German triptych that shows three possible versions of the same scenario. One of the most instantly st… Read More
Gosford Park
2024-03-24 14:31
Aristocrats gather at a country house for a spot of pheasant plucking in this 2001 drama, until their shooting weekend becomes a poisoning investigation. Directed by Robert Altman, th… Read More
2024-03-11 07:16
We are pleased to announce this Goblin Awards ceremony is to be televised for the first time as part of a long-term contract with TalkTV! Oh. Never mind. “I’m your host for t… Read More
Dune: Part Two
2024-03-10 15:29
Everyone’s favourite royal family is back, as Paul (not the bakery) fights to restore Dune (not the shoe shop) to its former glory as king of the high street. “Is there a Dun… Read More
2024-03-10 13:46
From the studio behind The Scary Robot and The Scary Pool comes The Scary Bear, a girl-meets-teddy chiller so threadbear it bearly koalafies as a film. Better Off Ted The ‘famil… Read More
When Evil Lurks
2024-03-07 18:11
A plague has pushed Argentina to the brink of collapse in this 2023 horror flick about two brothers (Ezequiel Rodríguez and Demián Salomon) who find that when society goes… Read More
Blast From The Past
2024-03-05 13:24
A mad scientist and his pregnant wife (Christopher Walken and Sissy Spacek) retreat to their fallout shelter during the Cuban Missile Crisis. 35 years later, their now adult son Adam (Brenda… Read More
Survival Of The Dead
2024-03-01 19:39
George A. Romero’s zombie saga takes an unexpectedly Irish turn in this final chapter they should have called St. Patrick’s Day of the Dead. Father Dead.In a first for the fr… Read More
Angus, Thongs And Perfect Snogging
2024-02-26 07:13
Georgia Nicolson (Georgia Groome) is 14 going on incessantly about snogging in this 2008 adaptation of the UK’s 127th favourite book. I know I’m not the target audience f… Read More
2024-02-25 14:50
Halle Berry goes from Monster’s Ball to hairball in this piece of shit godawful movie – not my words, but those of one Halle Berry. Released two years after Berry’s Os… Read More
The Zone Of Interest
2024-02-19 20:46
Based on the real-life story of Auschwitz commander Rudolf Höss (Christian Friedel), The Zone of Interest follows Höss and his family as they live out their idyllic life, sharing n… Read More
2024-02-17 22:34
This 2022 thriller follows an influencer (Emily Tennant) who goes on holiday to Thailand and soon learns to live without her phone. Or food or water. Influencer starts interestingly e… Read More
Speak No Evil
2024-02-16 17:14
A Danish couple (Morten Burian and Sidsel Siem Koch) meets a Dutch couple (Fedja van Huêt and Karina Smulders) on holiday in Italy. When their new friends invite them to stay at t… Read More
Turning Red
2024-02-11 17:18
A Chinese-Canadian girl (Rosalie Chiang) turns into a red panda in this 2022 Pixar flick they should have called Mulan Rouge. I had all but given up on Pixar after the overly li… Read More
American Fiction
2024-02-04 13:34
This comedy is based on Percival Everett’s novel Erasure but renamed American Fiction to sound more like an Oscar movie (and less like an Arnie movie). The story follows Thelon… Read More
Final Destination 2
2024-01-30 12:25
A 25-year-old college student (A. J. Cook) witnesses a traffic collision that turns out to be a premonition (and not just the cast’s careers going up in in flames). “I’… Read More
2024-01-29 07:21
I watched Alexander Payne’s The Holdovers on the same day as Godzilla Minus One, which seems an incongruous double-bill until you remember Payne co-wrote Jurassic Park III. It also sha… Read More
Godzilla Minus One
2024-01-28 16:28
Godzilla Minus One is the 37th movie in the kaiju franchise, which is considered one of the longest film series of all time by sexists intent on overlooking Barbie, the 43rd instalment in th… Read More
Watcher
2024-01-26 18:07
This 2022 psychological thriller follows Julia (Maika Monroe), an American who moves to Bucharest and becomes convinced she is being watched through her window; a heightened risk in Romania… Read More
2024-01-22 15:46
Emerald Fennell goes from Promising Young Women to dismantling young men in this dark comedy set in a debauched mansion. Let’s call it Downtown Abbey. Saltburn follows Oliver Qu… Read More
An American Werewolf in London
2024-01-20 22:38
American pals (David Naughton and Griffin Dunne) become pedigree chums after getting lost on the Yorkshire Moors under a full moon. John Landis’ horror/comedy crossbreed is best… Read More
Diary Of The Dead
2024-01-18 18:18
A group of film students shoot zombies in more ways than one in this found footage flick from 2007, the fifth chapter in George A. Romero’s zombie saga. This is the only entry… Read More
Night Swim
2024-01-15 15:56
The big brains at Blumhouse take another dive into their big bin marked “Things That ARe Scarey” (red doors, black phones, nuns etc.) and dredge up this wet attempt at makin… Read More
Poor Things
2024-01-14 19:18
Pinocchio meets Frankenhooker in the sci-fi they should have called Pinocchi-ho. Set in Victorian London, Poor Things concerns a mad scientist (Willem Dafoe) who puts a child’s… Read More
2024-01-08 07:10
A mob rat and a police mole (Tony Leung and Andy Lau) face off in the 2002 movie subsequently remade as The Wind in the Willows. I mean The Departed. This Hong Kong cop thriller… Read More
2024-01-07 10:33
Green Room meets The Descent in this French horror flick about 3 friends (Sofia Lesaffre, Victor Meutelet and Kassim Meesters) celebrating their last day in Paris by venturing into the Catac… Read More
One Life
2024-01-06 22:51
One Life is the story of Kindertransport hero Nicholas Winton (Anthony Hopkins and Johnny Flynn), who helped rescue hundreds of Jewish children from Nazi-occupied Czechoslovakia then didn&rs&hell…Read More
Double Indemnity
2023-12-31 17:41
An insurance salesman (Fred MacMurray) gets more than he bargained for after falling for a housewife (Barbara Stanwyck) in Billy Wilder’s 1944 thriller. Double Indemnity is vint… Read More
Stop Making Sense
2023-12-30 12:36
The sight of David Byrne and his massive square suit back on the big screen will come as great relief for Talking Heads fans and bad news for Liz Truss. Filmed across four Talking Head… Read More
Land Of The Dead
2023-12-29 12:28
George A. Romero returns to the genre he invented for this 2005 fourquel about a city overrun by zombies and overseen by a plutocrat (Dennis Hopper). Hopping mad.The success of 28 Days La… Read More
The Boy And The Heron
2023-12-27 14:12
The Boy and the Heron is supposedly the final film from Hayao Miyazaki, a man who has come out of retirement more times than Rocky Balboa. Spirited OspreySet during World War II, the fea… Read More
Maestro
2023-12-25 10:02
Bradley Cooper returns to music-based relationship drama in this biopic of American composer/conductor Leonard Bernstein. Let’s call it A Tar is Born. As both actor and director… Read More
Gremlins
2023-12-24 12:48
An economically depressed town is visited by rampaging creatures in the 1984 Christmas classic they should have called It’s a Wonderful Lifeform. Furrari (2023) All of Billy&rsqu&hell…Read More
Trading Places
2023-12-11 17:15
This 1983 comedy sees An American Werewolf in London director John Landis trade wolves for Wall Street, or the Philadelphia equivalent. Rocky Road? “Look how much they’re payi… Read More
Dream Scenario
2023-12-08 08:20
Nicolas Cage goes from saving pigs to counting sheep in this black comedy about a man who appears in multiple people’s dreams. Dream Scenario is presumably based on the “This… Read More
Napoleon (2023)
2023-12-07 07:19
Since we had the distinction of watching Napoleon at Waterloo, it joins the ranks of Isle of Dogs (which we saw on the Isle of Dogs), Threads (which we saw in Sheffield) and The Chernobyl Di… Read More
The Shop Around The Corner
2023-12-06 14:46
To avoid confusion, this is the James Stewart Christmas movie that was remade as You’ve Got Mail, not the James Stewart Christmas movie that was remade as Gremlins. Set in a Bud… Read More
Audition
2023-12-02 11:55
Nathan For You‘s ‘The Hunk’ meets Stephen King’s Misery in this J-horror classic about a widower (Ryo Ishibashi) who holds a fake audition to find a new wife… Read More
Battle Royale
2023-11-26 17:25
With Junior Eurovision currently in full swing, our attention inevitably turns to another group of competitive children with blood on their hands. A high school class are sent to a ci… Read More
Anatomy Of A Fall
2023-11-23 17:57
This French drama follows Sandra (Sandra Hüller), a German writer living in Grenoble. One day her husband (Samuel Theis) falls from a window to his death, and before you can saw widow p… Read More
May December
2023-11-22 07:20
Child abuse comedies have somewhat gone out of vogue since the glory days of Home Alone, but Todd Haynes is here to give the genre an overdue glow-up. Based on a real case, May D… Read More
Thanksgiving
2023-11-21 12:44
This slasher flick concerns a stampede at a Black Friday sale, a familiar image for anyone who has visited a Westfield or read the short story I wrote 3 years ago. I’m not saying Eli R… Read More
A Netflix For Christmas
2023-11-14 00:05
Despite having once co-created a Hallmark movie generator, I had never actually seen one until this ill-advised double-bill – and I possibly still haven’t as the provenance of th… Read More
Past Lives
2023-11-04 20:22
A pair of childhood sweethearts (Greta Lee and Teo Yoo) reconnect in this semi-autobiographical, inter-continental, star-crossed love story. Spanning 24 years, the plot follows… Read More
Tattoo (2002)
2023-10-29 12:21
Tattoo is a German thriller from 2002, not to be confused with the 1981 American movie Tattoo or the Russian band t.A.T.u. This film has perhaps the most ridiculous opening since The… Read More
The Exorcist: Believer
2023-10-28 10:58
Inspired by The Exorcist‘s defiling of a childhood bedroom, director David Gordon Green trashes a beloved property in this heretical sequel. “Aisle be back.”50 years af… Read More
Killers Of The Flower Moon
2023-10-27 16:04
When black gold is struck in Osage County, white benefactors manage oil assets for the native Americans who own the land. After returning from World War I, Ernest Buckhart (Leonardo di Capri… Read More
Oppenheimer
2023-10-26 12:08
Cillian Murphy plays the Father of the Atomic Bomb in Oppenheimer, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (and Then Hate the Bomb Again). “A quantum particle walks in… Read More
The Exorcist
2023-10-23 14:11
The greatest thing to come out of Catholicism since Pancake Day, The Exorcist is re-released for its 50th anniversary. It follows a famous actor (Ellen Burstyn) who moves to Washington DC, w… Read More
Friday The 13th Parts 1-3
2023-10-16 08:10
Having rewatched the first three Friday the 13th films on the eponymous, inauspicious occasion, here is another stab at reviewing these classic slashers (and Friday the 13th Part 3)… Read More
The Creator
2023-10-10 19:07
In 2055, the USA has rejected AI after it nuked Los Angeles. But the state of New Asia has embraced it, turning even its mountain dwelling peasants and monks into androids.  The Crea… Read More
Saw X
2023-10-04 13:05
What do the Saw franchise and Cheryl Cole’s career have in common? They both should have ended after that toilet attack 20 years ago. Saw X takes place between Saw and… Read More
The Equalizer 3
2023-09-14 12:02
Everyone’s favourite maths-based vigilante (with the possible exception of John Matrix) is back in this anticlimactic threequalizer. The TeaqualizerFor the final chapter, Bob (Denze… Read More
Cobweb
2023-09-12 06:17
A boy (Woody Norman) hears a knock on his bedroom wall in this horror flick called Cobweb, because The Knocking was already taken and sounds stupid. “Either this wallpaper goes or… Read More
The Blackening
2023-09-11 06:24
Bodies Bodies Bodies meets Bitch Ass in this horror/comedy about the most racist board game since Trump: The Game. Frustration: The Movie. The Blackening looks designed to skewer blac… Read More
The Nun II: Back In The Habit
2023-09-10 13:24
Valak the demon nun is back to wreak Mass boredom on a French monastery in this Holy Seequel to The Nun; putting the con in convent since 2018. “Either buy a magazine or get out.&rd&hell…Read More
Day Of The Dead
2023-09-03 22:43
The lunatics have taken over the underground research facility in this plague-fuelled military satire they should have called Dr. Strain-Love or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Our… Read More
FrightFest 2023: Departing Seniors
2023-08-28 19:51
Days before graduation, a set of high school bullies are given a bloody send-off by a masked killer in indie slasher Departing Seniors; a punny title likely lost on British viewers expecting… Read More
2023-08-26 18:05
When Jess (Hayley Erin) goes on the run from a mysterious organisation, they send special agent Elsa (Sonya Walger) to pursue her. Knowing people called Elsa’s distaste for letting thi… Read More
The Birds
2023-08-23 06:21
A farmhouse is besieged by birds in Alfred Hitchcock’s Flight of the Living Dead. Often parroted but never bettered, this 1963 chick flick does for birds as Jaws did for sharks… Read More
Dawn Of The Dead
2023-08-20 09:46
George A. Romero and Italian superfan/collaborator Dario Argento go bigger, bloodier and bitier in this 1978 sequel to Romero’s epochal apocalypse picture. Dawn of the Dead c… Read More
Night Of The Living Dead
2023-08-18 08:08
The corpses of Pennsylvania rise from the dead and eat people in George A. Romero‘s cannibalistic classic. Let’s call it The Pittsburgh Body-Stealers. “Pass the grave-y… Read More
Sorority Row
2023-08-16 14:14
Sorority Row joined a slew of slasher remakes circa 2009 to form whatever’s the opposite of a genre revival. Let’s call it the noughties slasher burial. Don’t answer the… Read More
2023-08-07 07:54
Just when you thought Ben Wheatley’s career couldn’t get any more depressing after the Netflix remake of Rebecca, the British director sinks to new depths with this sequel to 201… Read More
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem
2023-08-06 16:31
The sarcastic joke that spawned a franchise, the pizza-loving posse are back in this animated outing from The Mitchells vs. the Machines director Jeff Rowe. Presumably Jon Turteltaub was bus… Read More
Barbie
2023-08-01 14:19
Greta Gerwig goes from Little Women to even littler women in Barbie, the most hyped 43rd film in a franchise ever seen. Essentially a live-action Toy Story, it sees the eponymous Ma… Read More
Talk To Me
2023-07-31 14:13
Demonic possession is the latest viral craze sweeping the Adelaide suburbs in new horror flick Talk to Me. Local teenagers are going to possession parties where holding a severed, embalmed h… Read More
Indiana Jones And The Dial Of Destiny
2023-07-05 14:07
A lot has changed since we last met Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford). His marriage to Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen) is a relic of the past, widely-loved son Mutt (Shia LeBoeuf) is no longer on… Read More
Reality
2023-06-30 23:28
This drama recounts the 2017 arrest of the NSA whistleblower with the unlikely name Reality Winner, hopefully paving the way for a movie about Cherries Waffles Tennis. The film does n… Read More
2023-06-29 14:55
Arch-duke of whimsy and man who always looks like he’s auditioning for Doctor Who, Wes Anderson returns with this retrofuturist recreation of a play about an alien landing. And if you… Read More
2023-06-11 19:21
11-year-old Margaret (Abby Ryder Fortson) navigates puberty, religion and New Jersey (among other forms of knitwear) in this new adaptation of Judy Blume’s classic period drama. &ld&hell…Read More
Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse
2023-06-05 14:00
The multiverse Spideys are back in this web-slinging, head-spinning sequel, sadly missing the opportunity for an updated theme song: Spider-Man, Spider-Man, Spider-Man, Spider-Man, Spider-Ma… Read More
Missing
2023-05-14 21:50
The latest instalment in the “screenlife” genre (where events take place entirely on screens) is a follow-up to 2018’s Searching, where a man used the internet to track dow… Read More
2023-05-13 16:26
Everyone’s favourite fugitive is back at DreamWorks – no I don’t mean Alec Baldwin is doing another Boss Baby movie. That would be as mad as continuing to make Rust… Read More
2023-05-06 16:25
10 years since the Necronomicon last unleashed a torrent of boring on unsuspecting moviegoers, the Evil Dead are back in this perfunctory prequel. “Evil Dead Rise.”This time… Read More
2023-05-05 23:01
Apparently forgetting he already remade The Evil Dead to perfection in Evil Dead II, Sam Raimi flogs the undead horse in this humourless husk from 2013. Cell-out. In Fede Álvarez&l&hell…Read More
Suzume
2023-05-05 14:03
The new anime from Makoto Shinkai forms a trilogy of sorts with Your Name and Weathering With You. Another nascent couple averts another natural disaster, this time in the form of giant spac… Read More
Alien
2023-04-27 19:53
Few films are as influential and more pointless to review than Alien; by this point trying to say anything new about the 1979 classic is the critical equivalent of screaming into the vast bl… Read More
2023-04-16 13:48
A widowed bard (Chris Pine) has to find a relic to resurrect his wife. That is the entire plot of this 2+ hour Dungeons & Dragons movie. Guardians of the Khaleesi.Of all the possibil… Read More
13 Assassins
2023-04-10 20:55
It is testament to the grandeur of Akira Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai that even its remakes get remakes (there are two Magnificent Sevens and two 13 Assassins) while the original title is… Read More
Dungeons & Dragons (2000)
2023-04-09 12:40
This week sees the release of a new Dungeons & Dragons film, but not wanting to be caught off guard, we roll back to the original D&D movie from 2000. Set in a magical kingdo… Read More
Scream VI
2023-03-21 13:29
Ghostface follows in the footsteps of Jason Voorhees and the Muppets by taking Manhattan. Which means Ghostface in Space cannot be far off. “I’m breezy!”If Creed has pro… Read More
The Goblin Awards 2023
2023-03-13 00:00
This year’s Goblin Awards ceremony is brought to you by Netflix, like everything that’s too shit for TV. Hot! Not shit. Definitely not shit. Your hosts for the evening.The Pha… Read More
Creed III
2023-03-12 14:33
Stinking rich boxing promoter Adonis Creed (Michael B. Jordan) swaps the bling for the ring when his childhood friend (Jonathan Majors) gets out of prison looking to beat the best, such is h… Read More
Perfect Blue
2023-03-05 15:58
A pop star goes Gaga when she makes like an Ice Cube and freezes her music career to grab her Cher of acting life and become the next Will Smith, only to feel the face-slapping Sting of cold… Read More
Tár
2023-03-04 14:34
Cate Blanchett plays accomplished yet manipulative conductor Lydia Tár, because naming her Ava would have been too ridiculous. They should have called it Miss Conduct. Despite… Read More
Dog Soldiers
2023-02-26 20:13
Neil Marshall (The Descent) marked his territory with this 2002 tail of soldiers lured into the woods by a pack of werewolves. Let’s call it The Dog-Scent. Shaving Private RyanMaybe… Read More
Women Talking
2023-02-21 17:57
Surprisingly for a year when Avatar 2 is up for Best Picture, Don’t Worry Darling has been snubbed by the Academy, though it does share eerie similarities with Oscar nominee Women Talk… Read More
2023-02-19 20:36
A confession: I have never really “got” Howl’s Moving Castle, and my love of Studio Ghibli prevented me from reviewing it even after two watches (subbed and dubbed). Having… Read More
Knock At The Cabin
2023-02-07 12:48
M. Night Shyamalan ransacks a beloved property in his latest attempt to prove himself the worst director on the face of a dying earth. Property Guardians of the GalaxyA quartet of doomsd… Read More
2023-02-05 13:59
One year on from the death of King T’Challa, Wakanda is awash with watery invaders trying to steal their vibranium or something. Chadwick Boseman’s untimely death proves c… Read More
2023-02-04 13:16
One of my favourite novels gets a Christopher Landon-produced (Happy Death Day, Freaky) makeover in this Amazon Original. What could possibly go right? My Best Friend’s Exorcism… Read More
Holy Spider
2023-01-29 15:37
This Persian-language thriller is based on the real case of a serial killer who murdered 16 sex workers in Masshad circa 2001. Let’s call it Iranian Psycho. Born in Iran befor… Read More
M3GHAN
2023-01-16 07:13
An orphan is given a killer AI doll in M3GHAN, AKA Bride of Prince Chucky. Heavily hyped as the new Chucky, M3GHAN is more meme than movie. Like last year’s Smile it delivered… Read More
Avatar: The Way Of Water
2023-01-15 21:28
In this follow-up to 2009’s Avatar, when the humans come back to Pandora, Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) takes his family on a three-plus hour retreat to the Metkayina clan of ocean-goin… Read More

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