2023-01-25 14:00
In Part I of this article we examine the complex situation of shared custody with an ex-spouse you don’t trust. Here, in Part II, we propose methods of managing the
The post How Can I… Read More
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2023-01-19 02:45
Co-parenting without mutual trust is tough, but not uncommon. Distrust of the other parent for our purposes is when one parent questions the other parent’s capacity to put the child&rs&hell…Read More
2022-10-12 13:00
How can you live with your spouse when a divorce is imminent but before physical separation is possible? Often couples have decided to divorce, and yet they cannot immediately physically
The… Read More
2022-09-29 22:59
Having identified the problem (inability to manage distressing emotions) we turn to solutions. Meredith Keller, LPC, ACS, marriage counselor, shares her multi-pronged approach. *Photo by Bri… Read More
2022-08-10 22:26
How are we supposed to help ourselves and one another with unbearable feelings that, at least from time to time, take over and run us? The main issue presenting in
The post A Couple Walked i… Read More
2022-07-27 13:00
What makes a marital relationship healthy, according to couples therapist Meredith Keller, LPC, ACS? Secure attachment. Each of us defines intimate relationships differently. Some… Read More
2022-06-29 13:00
This article, the last in the infidelity series with our partner and friend, couples therapist Meredith Keller, LPC, ACS, looks to the future for couples overcoming a marital breach: Wh… Read More
2022-06-15 13:00
This article with our colleague, couples’ therapist Meredith Keller, LPC, ACS, continues the exploration of post-infidelity therapeutic intervention. Up until now, we have discuss… Read More
2022-05-25 13:00
Infidelity: Moving towards listening and away from blame The Present: Phase Two In discussing infidelity, it’s important to note that unfaithfulness is not necessarily the only problem… Read More
2022-05-11 18:30
This article, part of the series with our partner and friend, couples therapist Meredith Keller, LPC, ACS, explores unfaithfulness and infidelity, challenging the misconception that the… Read More
2022-05-09 13:00
Get Motivated – “In a dark time, the eye begins to see.” – Theodore Roethke Going through and living past a divorce is hard. But, You can do this. Keep
The post &ldqu&hell…Read More
2022-05-02 13:00
Get Motivated – ““Out of the wreck I rise.”” Robert Browning Going through and living past a divorce is hard. But, You can do this. Keep breathing and keep movi… Read More
2022-04-25 13:32
Get Motivated – “Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.” Dalai Lama Going through and living past a divorce is hard. But, You
The… Read More
2022-04-20 13:00
Gottman’s Four Horsemen: In this article, we continue our series with colleague Meredith Keller, LPC, ACS, couples’ therapist, who explores with us the primary reasons… Read More
2022-03-18 13:00
Okay, I know what you’re thinking. Nine times out of ten when someone starts a conversation with, “A friend of mine…” It’s pretty obvious that they’… Read More
2022-02-16 17:50
Fried or Scrambled? The brain, dear brain, lights up with luminous ideas and cradles our treasured memories. That organ-control center holding both well wishes and well-being, home of intell… Read More
2022-01-12 23:31
The New Year brings the opportunity to look ahead with a clean slate. For divorcing couples this can be an ideal time to clarify goals for reshaping their lives and
The post A Happier New Ye… Read More
2021-12-22 14:00
Now is a good time to turn to other species for inspiration. These fellow creatures personify what we humans can be when we return to kindness, decency, and love. Here
The post An Unlikely P… Read More
2021-12-15 14:00
Divorce can reshape our holiday celebrations into something disordered, gloomy and sad. In the midst of the divorce or in its immediate aftermath, the focus might have shifted to what
The po… Read More
2021-11-24 13:00
Don’t look now, but here comes Thanksgiving! When you are already in survival mode, a holiday can add insult to injury. If you are bracing for the holidays as a
The post Ungrateful and… Read More
2021-11-01 13:00
Get Motivated – “The secret of life is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.” Paulo Coelho Going through and living past a divorce is hard. But,
The post “Th… Read More
2021-10-27 13:00
Yes, you’re mad as hell and you’re not gonna take it anymore! That’s what divorce is for. While it’s a normal reaction to refuse, resist and rebel against a divorce
T… Read More
2021-10-25 13:00
Get Motivated – “Forgiveness is just another name for freedom.” Byron Katie Going through and living past a divorce is hard. But, You can do this. Keep breathing and keep
T… Read More
2021-10-18 13:00
Get Motivated – “Mind is a flexible mirror, adjust it, to see a better world.” Amit Ray Going through and living past a divorce is hard. But, You can do
The post “Min… Read More
2021-10-13 22:40
In New Jersey, divorce requires only one willing party. So what about the other party? The one who doesn’t want the divorce? And how can this work in mediation? Mediation
The post It T… Read More
2021-09-22 13:00
Part II picks up where we left off, providing the last three elements of how going in — the focusing way — need not mean going painfully deep. 1. The Right Distanc… Read More
2021-09-15 13:00
What’s wonderful about focusing is that it can disabuse us of the misconception that ‘going in’ (turning our attention inwardly) has to be going deep. Going inside can feel… Read More
2021-09-08 13:00
I have the greatest respect for people facing divorce. I know first hand, heart and head, the courage one must gather in order to proceed. Divorce tests the limits of
The post Five Things Di… Read More
2021-09-03 13:00
Nothing can be as heartbreaking as seeing someone you care about go through a divorce. It is a life changing event and results in the person going through a grieving
The post How to Talk to… Read More
2021-09-02 17:03
When I undergo a house purging / massive spring cleaning, I go at it with all I’ve got in the task-master, take-no-prisoners way I tend to tackle things. I crank
The post Emptying the… Read More
2021-08-26 13:00
Welcome to Part Three of my series on what I’ll affectionately call kicking my own butt into gear. In Part One, I shared the day this realization hit me–that I
The post Emptying… Read More
2021-08-23 13:00
Get Motivated – “You can start late, look different, be uncertain, and still succeed.” Misty Copeland Going through and living past a divorce is hard. But, You can do this… Read More
2021-08-16 13:00
Get Motivated – “One sees great things from the valley; only small things from the peak.” G.K. Chesterton Going through and living past a divorce is hard. But, You can
The… Read More
2021-08-12 13:00
When I started this series of articles, I set out to share my process in proactively bridging the full-time mom phase of my life with the What‘s Next phase hurtling
The post Emptying t… Read More
2021-08-09 13:00
Get Motivated – “If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” Jack Kornfield Going through and living past a divorce is hard. But, You can do this. Keep… Read More
2021-08-05 13:00
The alarm that announced sleeping time had ended pinged me awake with a startle. I grabbed my phone to silence in preparation for starting my day while it was still
The post Wake Up Call &nd&hell…Read More
2021-08-02 13:00
Get Motivated – “Discovering the truth about ourselves is a lifetime’s work, but it’s worth the effort.” Fred Rogers Going through and living past a divorce is… Read More
2021-07-26 13:00
Get Motivated – “Never be limited by other people’s limited imaginations.” Mae Jemison Going through and living past a divorce is hard. But, You can do this. Keep bre… Read More
2021-06-18 13:00
Sometimes it can be difficult to decide when you are ready for a healthy relationship, especially after you’ve just come out of a breakup. You don’t want to rush into things and… Read More
2021-06-16 13:00
WHAT IS BACK CHILD SUPPORT? Most of us have heard the term, but what exactly is back child support? In the United States and many other countries, children have a
The post The Facts About Ba… Read More
2021-06-07 13:00
Get Motivated – “Joy is not in things, it is in us.” Charles Wagner Going through and living past a divorce is hard. But, You can do this. Keep breathing
The post “Jo… Read More
2021-06-04 13:00
The post New habits, new adventure! appeared first on IveMovedOn.com Read More
2021-05-28 13:00
by By Bobby de Ortega.
When was the last time you actually took some real time off? By this question I don’t simply mean the occasional break from work, chores, bores, obligations, etc… Read More
2021-05-25 14:00
Never Again! I’m writing this somewhat alive from Las Vegas which is why it seems such perfect subject matter. Unless your nickname is Mother Teresa, at some point in your life
Th… Read More
2021-05-24 13:00
Get Motivated – “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” – Anaïs Nin Going through and living past a divorce is hard. But, You can do this… Read More
2021-05-19 13:00
It’s hard to be an American or friend of America right now and be unaware of conflict. The polarization, upheaval, political and racial division of the last years has risen
The p… Read More
2021-05-17 13:00
Get Motivated – “You are what you love, not what loves you.” – Charlie Kaufman Going through and living past a divorce is hard. But, You can do this. Keep
The post &l&hell…Read More
2021-05-12 13:00
Lies – What to Do About them If we agree to expect that our own bad behavior and that of others is an inevitable part of life, at least we
The post The Lies Divorcing People Tell &hell&hell…Read More
2021-05-10 13:00
Get Motivated – “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”T.S. Eliot Going through and living past a divorce is hard.
The post &ldqu&hell…Read More
2021-05-05 13:00
Early conversations about divorce can be inflammatory and emotional. In fact, they often are not conversations at all, but rather proclamations, threats, cries, intimidations, verbal grabs o… Read More
2021-05-03 13:00
Get Motivated – “It is impossible for you to go on as you were before, so you must go on as you never have.” – Cheryl Strayed Going through and
The post “It is… Read More
2021-04-28 13:00
Like attach and attack, mediate and meditate are another pair of closely related words. The delighted expression of people first glimpsing my business card quickly transf… Read More
2021-04-26 13:00
Get Motivated – “The scariest moment is always just before you start.” – Stephen King Going through and living past a divorce is hard. But, You can do this. Keep
The… Read More
2021-04-21 13:00
Clients often ask what can they do to prepare for mediation. This article concerns itself with questions mediation candidates might use to prepare for mediation — not so much regarding… Read More
2021-04-19 13:00
Get Motivated – “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” – Les Brown Going through and living past a divorce is hard.
The post “You… Read More
2021-04-14 13:00
The African proverb “It takes a village to raise a child” is well-established wisdom. We all struggle — (the pandemic made us glaringly aware) — without the… Read More
2021-01-07 11:00
What is in a word? A lot, I think. Although a rose by any name may smell just as sweet, I find that when I frequently bump into and miswrite
The post Alphabet Soup for the Relational Soul ap… Read More
2020-12-09 23:00
Age-old, and New Age, wisdom tells us that you get what you focus on. It’s practically common knowledge that the more positive you are, the higher your vibrational frequency, and
The p… Read More
2020-11-26 14:00
The post Happy Thanksgiving appeared first on IveMovedOn.com Read More
2020-11-25 23:00
A dear friend of mine has a saying from his Irish grandfather: Married or not: you’ll regret it. So for our purposes, while that may well be true, there is also
The post Married o… Read More
2020-11-11 23:00
Katherine Kirkinis, ED.M., M.A. of Wanderlust Careers, our friend and consultant on this series, routinely works with people who have been out of the job force for as long as
The post Re-Ent… Read More
2020-10-21 22:00
The Brilliance of a Dual Plan: Now and Later Sometimes simple necessity requires a short-term plan. However, a short-term plan need not replace or obfuscate a more comprehensive, pursuit-of… Read More
2020-10-16 22:00
Before plunging headfirst into a job search, pause for some self-inquiry and goal setting. Like surveying a crowded room before entering, you might first step back and read the atmosphere.
T… Read More
2020-10-15 22:00
know it is always easier said than done, but practice makes perfect, so keep these tips in mind and work on them strong heart to aim for a healthier and happier relationships or marriage.
Th… Read More
2020-09-30 22:00
Reentering the workforce can be among the most daunting tasks arising out of a divorce. Typically one spouse, during the marriage, has pulled his or her primary focus away from
The post Re-E… Read More
2020-09-16 22:00
Pendente Lite (or PL) refers to the interim time between the commencement of an action for divorce (filing a Complaint for Divorce), and the time the parties receive a Judgment of… Read More
2020-08-26 22:00
Help Often people get stuck, flailing about for weeks or decades, trying to figure out what sort of intervention they need, all the while captive in an unbearable impasse. Who
The post Who Y… Read More
2020-08-21 22:00
Solitude. If I admit I’m human, I know I need time for myself just to refuel if I’m going to be any kind of effective on a daily basis. That’s a
The post Beating the B… Read More
2020-08-17 13:00
Get Motivated – “Don’t water the weeds in your life.” Thomism No.73 Going through and living past a divorce is hard. But, You can do this. Keep breathing and keep
The… Read More
2020-08-10 14:00
Get Motivated – “Don’t leave your dreams in bed.” Thom You can do this. Keep breathing and keep moving on. To help you on your journey consider joining our week… Read More
2020-08-07 22:00
The post Home Sweet Home: The Big Decision appeared first on IveMovedOn.com Read More
2020-08-05 22:00
What Happens to Co-Owned Property Upon Divorce? What do Married/Divorcing People Need to Know? Married people need to know that, upon divorce, by operation of law, they no longer own
The pos… Read More
2020-08-04 22:00
Your Divorce has been final for a year and know you feel it’s time to prepare for takeoff on a new relationship. Are you ready? Back to your college weight
The post Pilot Safety: 5 Pre… Read More
2020-07-15 22:00
Whether married or divorcing in New York or New Jersey, couples are well advised to familiarize themselves with a few fundamentals of real property. Real property, also called real estate,
T… Read More
2020-07-13 13:00
Get Motivated – “Use every bump in the road as a rise to the challenge.” Thomism No.3 You can do this. Keep breathing and keep moving on. To help you
The post “… Read More
2020-07-04 13:00
The post Single Parent’s Guide: Solo Vacationing on a Shoestring Budget appeared first on IveMovedOn.com Read More
2020-06-24 22:00
Mediating Online requires some new guidelines to optimize participants’ experience and maintain the integrity of the mediation process. Clients are encouraged to consider what makes th… Read More
2020-06-17 22:00
The Challenges and Gifts of On-Line Divorce Mediation Mediating from Home Divorce is discomforting. Traversing divorce necessitates securing as much comfort as possible. In some important wa… Read More
2020-06-10 22:00
The Challenges and Gifts of Online Divorce Mediation Technology Using new technology can elicit anxiety for most of us. Regardless of our varying levels of experience using Zoom or other
The… Read More
2020-06-08 13:00
Get Motivated – “Life gets messy. Sometimes messy is fun!” Teacherwithtude-ism Going through and living past a divorce is hard. But, You can do this. Keep breathing and kee… Read More
2020-06-06 13:00
Now, it’s true that the world we live in has changed dramatically over the last few years. With this in mind, it’s important to note that we are rarely even
The post Take a Break… Read More
2020-06-05 22:00
The post CURIOSITY: THE LITTLE WORD THAT COULD (Help relieve tension during your Divorce) appeared first on IveMovedOn.com Read More
2020-06-02 22:00
I’m with… Me. Finding comfort and Peace in ones own skin, and being happy spending time alone is a core component of being able to MoveOn. Now I’m not suggesting that… Read More
2020-05-30 13:00
There are many obstacles you will encounter on the road of life, and sometimes these speed bumps can seem like a mountain. Everyone has had those days where everything seems
The post Bounce… Read More
2020-05-29 23:55
We all try to avoid confronting other people or being confronted. We often see “confrontation” as a negative form of communication. When the word “confrontation” hits… Read More
2020-05-26 22:00
The post Time for a Personal Remodel appeared first on IveMovedOn.com Read More
2020-05-25 13:00
Get Motivated – “When your life seems dark be a reflection of the stars.” Thomism No. 21 You can do this. Keep breathing and keep moving on. To help you
The post &ldq&hell…Read More
2020-05-21 22:00
The post Spring Cleaning Part Three: Deep Cleaning appeared first on IveMovedOn.com Read More
2020-05-20 22:00
In the midst of the Covid crisis, what are divorcing couples — and would-be divorcing couples — supposed to do now? What are the options for moving forward when the
The post Medi… Read More
2020-05-18 13:00
Get Motivated – “Don’t board a relationship heading for the rocks.” Thomism No. 62 You can do this. Keep breathing and keep moving on. To help you on your journ… Read More
2020-05-11 13:00
Get Motivated – “Be kind & pollinate positive growth in others.” Thomism No. 137 Going through and living past a divorce is hard. But, You can do this. Keep breathing
T… Read More
2020-04-29 22:00
Recently, in this time of COVID-19, I had an experience which I’m sharing as I think it might be useful to others. It resulted in a shift which changed my
The post A COVID-19 Tale: Fro… Read More
2020-04-25 13:00
As promised, here we are with our third and final installment on relocation in divorce. The Comfort of Impermanence Wherever you are right now, you won’t be there forever. Simply
The p… Read More
2020-04-20 13:00
Get Motivated – “Use every bump in the road as an opportunity to rise to the challenge.” Thom You can do this. Keep breathing and keep moving on. To help
The po… Read More
2020-04-16 22:00
If you don’t hear Beyonce in your head right now, I’m not sure we can be friends… In all seriousness, I hatched these intricate daydreamy plans of how I would
The post All… Read More
2020-04-13 13:00
Get Motivated – “Stick to the right path and you’ll make it through the woods.” Thom You can do this. Keep breathing and keep moving on. To help you on
The post… Read More
2020-04-06 13:00
Get Motivated – “Don’t cling to the past or it will cling to you.” Thomism No. 25 Going through and living past a divorce is hard. But, You can do
The post “Don… Read More
2020-04-04 13:00
Relocation tips for the newly single, continued from our last article. Decrease Suffering Focus on what brings comfort. What brings you comfort? What do you do to self-soothe?… Read More
2020-03-30 13:00
Get Motivated – “Day full of mountains? Pack the right attitude.” Thom You can do this. Keep breathing and keep moving on. To help you on your journey consider joinin… Read More
2020-03-21 13:00
A lot of people who divorce find that it requires relocation. Relocating with children is a complex and separate issue altogether. This article concerns itself with relocating as a newly
The… Read More
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