2017-07-09 02:37
Narcissists don’t always do their own dirty work. They’re far too clever for that. Instead, they work through a kind-of intermediary. A henchman. A puppet.
From Flying Monkey&he&hell…Read More
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Narcissism Meets Normalcy Blog
blogs.psychcentral.com
A blog about narcissism, narcissists, and how to live with them from Lenora Thompson.
2017-07-08 21:50
What parent wouldn’t want their daughter to be obsessed with boys? I mean, doesn’t every parent want a boy-crazy daughter!?! I jest, of course. But seriously, as if the attractio… Read More
2017-07-01 18:35
“Narcissists,” many website say, “are pathological liars.” But I refused to believe it…at first. Oh, I know that narcissists have a reputation for prevaricatin… Read More
2017-06-29 04:51
Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, there lived a narcissist. We’ll call him Speedy. You’ve met Speedy before. He lived a fairly colorful life, full of conflict. He med… Read More
2017-06-24 20:12
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!” How many times have you said “I’m sorry” about a trifle. Forgetting something. Dropping something. Making a loud noise. C… Read More
2017-06-24 15:55
You can’t tell a narcissist just by looking. There’s no one-size-fits-all model for narcissism. Although the underlying dynamics are the same, narcissists are as diverse and uniq… Read More
2017-06-16 16:04
Where has Doctor Who been all my life? I mean, that show is Nirvana for geeks like me. But it took nine seasons of watching The Big Bang Theory before I finally decided to see what this &ldq&hell…Read More
2017-06-15 14:09
There’s a scene in the 1971 musical Fiddler on the Roof where Tevye feigns a nightmare in order to manipulate his extremely superstitious wife, Golde, into blessing the love match betw… Read More
2017-06-09 20:57
“How could they!?!” For years, the thought drove me nuts. How could my family, my nearest and dearest, do and say the unconscionable narcissistic things they said and did. Things… Read More
2017-06-06 17:24
Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, there lived a narcissist called Speedy. You’ve met him before. He liked to fight things.
He fought a speeding ticket…and lost. He f… Read More
2017-06-05 22:43
Harlean Harlow (stage name: Jean Harlow) may’ve been the quintessential sultry, curvaceous, platinum Hollywood blonde bombshell, but she wasn’t the bitchy dame you’d expect… Read More
2017-06-03 00:11
Bizarre. Immature. Spoiled. And “that” smirk that says, “Oh c’mon. It wasn’t that bad. Your [wife, husband, father, mother, grandparent, sibling] meant well. Th… Read More
2017-05-27 22:39
Was your parent raised by a narcissist? Then I’ll bet you dollars to donuts that you grew up in an angry home.
It’s taken me almost four years to realize, acknowledge and f… Read More
2017-05-27 19:00
Once upon a time, in a kingdom far far away, there lived a narcissist called Speedy. You’ve met Speedy before. He’s the one who liked to fight things. He fought a speeding ticket… Read More
2017-05-21 18:35
It was the perfect family. Everyone of one mind. Everyone in perfect accord. The parents smiled and held hands. The child smiled and behaved perfectly. There was no conflict, no anger&hellip&hell…Read More
2017-05-20 16:50
IMPATIENCE! The word jumped off the webpage at me on that memorable day when I first read a list of narcissistic traits. Yes! Heck yeah! One particular narcissist of my acquaintance embodied… Read More
2017-05-12 20:30
Last year, I published this article on my Huffington Post blog fully expecting to be vilified, attacked and generally raked over the coals for daring to address the rarified, the sacred, the… Read More
2017-05-10 18:45
Surely. Say it cannot be! Surely narcissism doesn’t taint and tarnish the delightful relationship between man and his best friend, the wagging tail and cold snuffly nose of canis lupus… Read More
2017-05-05 18:40
To paraphrase Charles Dickens, “You must first read my article Should Narcissists Be Told They’re Narcissists or nothing wonderful can come of this tale I’m about to relate… Read More
2017-05-05 18:35
The debate rages. Should those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder be told they’re narcissists…or not!?! As Shakespeare put it,
“To tell, or not to tell- that is the qu… Read More
2017-05-01 01:40
“Trust isn’t just given. It must be earned.” If I had a a dollar for all the times I’ve heard that! Unfortunately, that (very erroneous!) dynamic didn’t just ap… Read More
2017-04-27 18:35
“Beauty pageants build girls’ confidence,” the pageant coordinator warbled, a perfect smile plastered on her perfectly made-up face as she wobbled on sky-high floral heels… Read More
2017-04-21 18:30
They say that if time is flying by, you’re married to the right person. And if time drags like a life sentence, you’re wed to the wrong person.
Today is our Fifth Wedding Anniver… Read More
2017-04-18 18:45
You set a boundary. Now what? Your stomach is in knots, waiting for the narcissist’s reaction. You know it ain’t gonna be pretty.
The Furious Pout
Yeah, you know what I’m… Read More
2017-04-14 18:35
She’d been held against her will for twenty-four years. She’d been raped over 3,000 times…by her own father, no less. She’d bore seven of her father’s children… Read More
2017-04-12 18:35
I started cooking. And it was the beginning of the end. I know, I know. That sounds, well, weird. So let me explain.
Of Narcissists and Creativity
Have you ever noticed how narcissists snee… Read More
2017-04-08 18:35
My friend, Christine Hammond, recently wrote a freakin’ brilliant article entitled How Narcissism Changes Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. She put her finger unerringly on a slippe… Read More
2017-04-07 18:35
Once upon a time…in a kingdom far, far away…there lived a narcissist. Let’s call him Speedy, shall we?
Well, one day Speedy got a speeding ticket.
I’ll pause here f… Read More
2017-03-31 18:35
Ya just don’t piss with an abuse survivor. Don’t do it. We don’t take kindly to it.
Before I discovered narcissism and narcissistic abuse, I like to think I was a very nice… Read More
2017-03-29 19:18
They may never have been diagnosed, but you knew. Almost from babyhood, you knew something was wrong with your parent. They were glum. Unsmiling. Depressed.
As a baby, they tell me I ignored… Read More
2017-03-24 18:35
You grew up surrounded by narcissists. They hurt you frequently. So frequently that your heart was seared. The pain rolled off like water-off-a-duck’s-back almost before you realized t… Read More
2017-03-21 19:00
Codependents just want you to be happy. They want to fix all your boo-boo’s and kiss all your ouchies. Make everything sunny in the garden so you can be happy, happy, happy.
But it&rsq&hell…Read More
2017-03-20 18:40
Parenting is the most rewarding and challenging adventure anyone will ever embark upon. But when you’re co-parenting with a narcissist, it’s much more difficult than it needs to… Read More
2017-03-18 20:12
In his book The Inextinguishable Symphony, former NPR Performance Today host Martin Goldsmith writes,
“In the house where I grew up…
there was also an enormous tree growing up… Read More
2017-03-14 01:26
They say that when you stop trying, good things will come to you. Oddly enough, it’s true.
Ever heard of couples who quit trying to conceive, maybe even adopt, and then suddenly have a… Read More
2017-03-07 19:35
We’re all so familiar with how narcissists project their failings onto others. Nothing is ever their fault. Lately, we’ve watched projection play out on the national stage. It&rs&hell…Read More
2017-03-04 19:34
They know exactly how everything should be done. And woe unto any coworker who doesn’t do everything their way. Welcome to the stressful reality of narcissists in the workplace.
Stres… Read More
2017-03-02 18:20
The class of thirty 9-year-old third-graders looked like something out of a 1950s photograph. They sat perfectly still. Their reading books were held in identical grips in their chubby hands… Read More
2017-02-26 19:35
“Before bed, he would be so charming,” friends observed about Frank Sinatra. “The girl was ‘mademoiselle this,’ ‘darling that,’ and ‘my sweet… Read More
2017-02-25 19:30
They were adult women. They were legally of age. Yet, they were held as slaves, completely unaware they had every legal right to leave. To embrace freedom. To go No Contact. They are the wom… Read More
2017-02-19 19:30
Today’s article is simply a message of hope and happiness for my fellow narcissism survivors. There is hope. Sooner or later, happiness will find you. I sh*t you not!
So often articles… Read More
2017-02-18 19:30
I’ve always had my head in the clouds. Always been searching for Heaven on Earth. Always seeking the person who “had it all together.” The one who knew how to successfully… Read More
2017-02-12 19:30
Guilt. Constant guilt. Every waking moment of every single day. Guilty, guilty, guilty.
Why!?! That’s what I want to know.
Learning About The Conscience
I remember the very day my mot… Read More
2017-02-11 19:31
Does narcissistic abuse merely hurt us emotionally or does it take a physical toll too?
Us vs. Them
There’s this idea that a full, rich life should be a rich panoply of experiences in… Read More
2017-02-05 19:35
She was very young. He was very young. They were very much in love, so they eloped.
But her overtly, in-your-face, textbook narcissistic Daddy was not pleased. Hell no! He didn’t get t… Read More
2017-02-04 19:35
She is 100% convinced that her version of reality is true. She’s completely sane. In possession of her faculties. Fully functional. Successful. Famous.
But she’s also a narcissis… Read More
2017-01-29 19:40
Narcissists are focused on appearances. They’re often hyper-focused on monetary gain by any means, fair or foul. They’re focused on looking “right” to all and sundry… Read More
2017-01-28 19:45
It was a lovely letter Loretta Young wrote to her “adopted” daughter, Judy Lewis. A beautifully written missive written by an Oscar-winning mother, Loretta Young, to the daughter… Read More
2017-01-22 19:30
She was the daughter of Clark Gable and Loretta Young. She had everything money could buy, yet she suffered the most subtle, the most clandestine, the most horrific maternal Narcissistic Abu… Read More
2017-01-21 19:30
She went into Big Brother House a week ago with a chip on her shoulder and an agenda a mile wide. She was going to clean up the “horrible, horrible” housemates in the Big Brother… Read More
2017-01-12 19:45
It’s been a decade since my shadow darkened a church door. Church is toxic for me. I’m in detox. Aye, that sums it up: detox! The very word “church” is a poison in my… Read More
2017-01-12 19:30
Nausea. Bile rising in my throat. The very thought of church makes me want to vomit. As my friend wrote, “…narcissists using God…[is] almost enough to make you turn athei… Read More
2017-01-09 00:39
Codependence: The addiction to others’ emotions. Well, that’s one of many definitions. It’s a dynamic so deeply ingrained in the family that it’s “normal.&rdquo&hell…Read More
2017-01-06 19:30
“How will you make it on your own?” warbles the intro song of The Mary Tyler Moore Show. “This world is awfully big, girl this time you’re all alone. But it’s t… Read More
2016-12-31 19:35
Five hundred thousand pageviews. That’s half a million pageviews on Narcissism Meets Normalcy since it started in January 2016. I mean, I know some sites get a million hits every day… Read More
2016-12-30 19:00
“I’m so over him / her,” combined with a flippant head wag and finger snap seems to be the prevailing sentiment amongst those who have gone No Contact. They may have left a… Read More
2016-12-29 19:00
I recently ran across a “relationship contract” in a self-help book.
Reading it, I suddenly realized that the terms of the contract sounded much like the unspoken wedding vows in… Read More
2016-12-25 19:00
Would you treat anyone the way you were treated?
It’s a fascinating question. And perhaps the greatest antidote to the lack of self-empathy that too often sabotages the recovery of Na… Read More
2016-12-24 20:25
In 1911, English writer, philosopher, and theologian G. K. Chesterton published a Father Brown mystery entitled The Three Tools of Death. In the tale, an ex-alcoholic named Armstrong runs a… Read More
2016-12-18 19:00
It happens every single year. The Christmas tree is decked with tears and garlanded in false guilt. Fugetabout the Grinch. This is how narcissists steal Christmas.
The Twelve Days of False… Read More
2016-12-17 19:00
Whether you knew her as the tough mom on The Big Valley or the passionate woman talking Gary Cooper out of suicide in Meet John Doe, Barbara Stanwyck was one of the most gifted actresses the… Read More
2016-12-11 19:00
Who doesn’t love the movies of Katherine Hepburn? With her energy and upper-crust Bryn Mawr accent, she wraps the audience around her little finger. Then combine her brittle elegance w… Read More
2016-12-10 20:29
They say that discovering Narcissistic Personality Disorder in your family is akin to losing a loved one. We go through the five stages of the grieving process — denial, anger, bargain… Read More
2016-12-03 19:00
I betcha’ think this article is about selfies and the Kardashians. Ha, ha. Oh, I’ll get to them! Today’s article is about the other narcissists on social media: our mother… Read More
2016-11-30 19:00
Facebook is the dream-come-true for narcissists who resent being ignored. It’s their loophole in your No Contact policy. And when it comes to social media, they know every trick in the… Read More
2016-11-26 19:00
She ripped me a new one! With a click of the button, a reader who’s been diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder let me have it! Up one side and down the other.
This is, perha… Read More
2016-11-24 19:30
Narcissistic abuse is straight-up, forthright, upright, downright bad. Bad! But even in the midst of all that pain and sorrow, I might just have found something to be grateful for.
Who Woul… Read More
2016-11-19 20:41
“We’ve gotta clean the house, now, now, NOW, PEOPLE! I want this place looking like Disney on Ice in one minute… If you haven’t made your bed, throw it away! It&rsqu&hell…Read More
2016-11-17 18:00
So how did he do it!? How did President-Elect Trump win? What did he do so right?
In my opinion, it’s really quite simple.
First, he spoke to the pressing issues concerning John &… Read More
2016-11-13 20:39
Proud father and grandfather. Faithful Husband. U.S. Marine. Veteran of the Second World War. I know Veteran’s Day has come and gone but, Grandpa, I salute you. Sixteen years gone&hell&hell…Read More
2016-11-13 19:30
There’s no pain quite like shame. Its sting is unique in the rich variety of human agony. The vitriol of another’s words shred our self-esteem.
It’s A Given
It’s no… Read More
2016-11-05 17:21
Sorrow, disbelief and anger contorted my husband’s face in misery. Sitting on his feet in the hallway, he frantically dug through the contents of the wooden box. My father-in-law had v… Read More
2016-11-03 17:00
Who are we trying to kid!? It takes a “unique” person to run for President. That much responsibility gives normal folk like you and me the willies. But somebody’s got to do… Read More
2016-10-29 19:24
My Facebook friends are the best! Several months ago, they contributed real-life scenarios they experienced courtesy of people suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The original… Read More
2016-10-28 18:33
Maybe I’m just weird, but based on chats with friends, we’re all the same. We all get the post-therapy “blahs.”
So, I said to myself, “Lenora, ol’ buddy… Read More
2016-10-23 17:00
Who wouldn’t be depressed after narcissistic abuse!?
Nature VS Nurture
Even a couple of years with a narcissist can destroy you, I’m told. Now imagine decades of criticism, proj… Read More
2016-10-21 17:00
What does it look like when a narcissist is honest-to-goodness, forthright, upright, downright, undeniably busted in wrongdoing?
The Model
Whenever I think of a narcissist busted, my mind a… Read More
2016-10-15 20:11
Lack-Of-Empathy: It’s always cited as one of the chief characteristics of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. But what is it really? What does lack-of-empathy look like when it’s… Read More
2016-10-14 17:30
Conversation is creepy. Sharing is scary. Transparency is terrifying. Intimacy’s nearly impossible. That’s the problem with attempting the dance called “having a rela… Read More
2016-10-07 18:47
One of the most fascinating dynamics on CBS’s The Big Bang Theory is the relationship between Dr. Sheldon Cooper, BS, MS, MA, PhD, and ScD and his long-suffering roommate, Leonard Hof… Read More
2016-10-07 17:48
I love watching The Big Bang Theory. The charming, loveable band of self-professed nerds, geeks and brainiacs on TBBT have become my second family. I “hang out” with them a lot&h&hell…Read More
2016-10-02 17:00
“Anger that has been understood empowers us to break away from the destructiveness we suffered in childhood; appreciate our feelings and needs and thus love ourselves; define our true… Read More
2016-10-01 17:00
Goodbye, Therapist. Hello, Zombie. Yeah, that’s right. I turn into a zombie after therapy. Can’t help myself. It’s so, well, kinda’ traumatic to be parading around in… Read More
2016-09-25 17:30
“I am so grateful to you, my dear anger, that you empowered me to walk the path of dignity and being true to myself. Deep inside, I had always longed for it. You do not want to control… Read More
2016-09-24 18:29
“What would They think?” “They say that XYZ.” They, they, they. It’s been my observation that people suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder are overly… Read More
2016-09-17 22:52
In childhood, there was only one way to survive – accept, excuse and go along with aggressive, inhuman actions and attitudes. But later, in adulthood, there was a way out! You changed… Read More
2016-09-17 20:12
Do you ever find yourself clamming-up at the start of therapy? I sure do! For two weeks, I look forward to my next session. Get there. Nothing. Overtaken by shyness. All clammed up.
Danish c… Read More
2016-09-10 16:45
“I was terrified and panicked when I was attacked with violence, which always expresses anger and hatred. It is such a sick lie that violence can be administered “without anger&r&hell…Read More
2016-09-09 18:57
Ah, projection. The fine art of making me guilty of your vices.
Projection
No one projects better or more frequently than a narcissist. They’ve practiced, honed and refined projection… Read More
2016-09-05 21:32
“My dearest anger! There are people who tell me that I may not feel you. They judge you as if you were something bad that I must get rid of. They suggest that I am resentful when I exp… Read More
2016-09-04 02:15
I finally put my new waterproof make-up to the test during Therapy #6. As my therapist deftly wielded a screwdriver to fix a wobbly office chair, he began the session with his usual, “… Read More
2016-08-26 22:56
[TRIGGER WARNING: FRANK SEXUAL CONTENT] Narcissistic sexuality is on a spectrum. In Part 1 we discussed the so-called “vanilla” or cerebral narcissists, who starve their partners… Read More
2016-08-24 21:52
[TRIGGER WARNING: Frank Sexual Content] Not normal. Not normal at all. There’s nothing loving nor normal about sex with a narcissist. At least that’s what my Facebook friends tel… Read More
2016-08-20 21:08
Is it possible to recover from narcissistic abuse? What are the steps? In fact, what is narcissism?
What Is A Narcissist?
They’re a person who looks just like you or me. They’re… Read More
2016-08-19 19:07
“And I have no idea where I was going with that,” my therapist ended a brilliant “soliloquy” about attributions. And I doubled over in laughter. It was just one of th… Read More
2016-08-13 17:40
Narcissism and narcissists are everywhere. Most of us will work with one, date one or marry one…or more than one in our lifetimes. In Techniques for Coping with Narcissists (Pt 1)&nbs&hell…Read More
2016-08-13 14:21
How do you cope with living with narcissists? Is it possible to, not only survive, but actually thrive?
Disclaimer
As my regular readers know, I’m a huge fan of No Contact. But someti… Read More
2016-08-07 23:17
Maybe I’m just weird, but I loved going back to school. As an only child, I adored being around other kids and observing them, just as I love to people-watch today. It was endlessly in… Read More
2016-08-05 00:39
There’s something about normalcy: When you’re living in normalcy, it’s easy to take it foregranted because it’s comfortable. But sometimes, it’s hard to perceiv… Read More
2016-07-30 18:59
Peace. For the first time in over three decades, I’m (pretty much) at peace. Yeah, I can’t believe it either.
It just kinda’ crept up on me. I didn’t try to attain p… Read More
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