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The adoptive mom of two Korean teens thinks out loud about adoption and life in general
2018-01-31 15:25
Korea Adoption Services, or KAS, the Republic of Korea’s central authority for intercountry adoption, just published a summary of the support the ROK will provide to adoptees depo… Read More
2017-09-11 13:39
In honor and remembrance of the victims of the attacks on September 11, 2001, I post the tributes to Stanley L. Temple and Brian Magee I wrote years ago as part of the 2996 Project. I h… Read More
2017-08-14 16:52
Because you felt empowered to enter my state and a city I hold dear with a message of hate that ultimately took the lives of three innocent people, I am empowering myself to write directly t… Read More
2017-07-17 19:54
I took one of those online quizzes the other day. This one was to determine my personality type, extrovert vs. introvert. I expected the same result I’ve gotten for decades - extrovert… Read More
2017-07-14 13:01
Saying he will become the "president of all people," President Moon Jae-In of the Republic of Korea has invited the Korean people to send him their policy ideas. Whether this effort to throw… Read More
Hyunsu's Butterfly
2017-07-02 16:00
On Monday June 12th, I had the pleasure of joining the unveiling of a statue memorializing little Hyunsu Kim at the Linwood Center in Ellicott City, Maryland. Known in much of the American m… Read More
2017-06-04 21:27
I anticipated that my post last week would generate a variety of comments, and was therefore not surprised when something along these lines appeared shortly after I published it:You are sayi… Read More
2017-05-31 19:28
For years, decades really, I have been unable to find the words I’m speaking now. All this writing for all these years danced on the fringes of this, to my everlasting shame. I was afr… Read More
2017-04-11 14:35
An adoption attorney from Loveland, CO named Ronald Stoddart has apparently been scraping the Department of State site and adding people to his distribution list to advertise his cause, Save… Read More
2017-02-13 15:41
Not even a month into the lunacy of the Trump administration and I am exhausted. I’m exhausted from the endless barrage of this man’s mental illness, lack of humanity, and ignora… Read More
2016-11-11 18:22
I’ve been wandering through different phases of grief, but I keep coming back to anger. Anger feels right now, because it touches pretty much everything that has been associated with t… Read More
2016-09-11 12:41
Ten years ago, I posted a tribute to a victim of the attack on the World Trade Center as part of the 2996 Project. A few years later I posted a second, after learning that the brother o… Read More
2016-08-08 00:07
On July 15, 2016, I was present at Montgomery County Circuit Court when Brian Patrick O’Callaghan was sentenced for 1st degree child abuse resulting in death. Following a speech that c… Read More
2016-05-04 13:57
If you are connected in any way to the Korean adoption community, you have heard of KAAN - or you should have. KAAN (shorthand for the Korean American Adoptee Adoptive Family Network). KAAN… Read More
2016-04-19 21:06
Has it been ten years since I've been writing here? I can hardly believe it, especially when I consider all that has happened during that time. My children were 15 and 17 in 2006 when I bega… Read More
2016-03-17 00:48
The debate rages on in my adoption community among those who believe adoption must be considered as a factor in the death of little Kim Hyunsu’s death by the hand of his adoptive fathe… Read More
2016-03-17 00:48
Brian O'Callaghan, the Maryland man accused of murdering the little 3-year-old Korean boy he and his wife had adopted barely three months earlier, pleaded guilty today in Maryland Circuit Co… Read More
2016-03-17 00:48
The case of the murder of Hyunsu Kim, known in the news as Madoc Hyunsu O'Callaghan, has drifted out of metropolitan Washington, DC news. The death of little Hyunsu, allegedly at the hands o… Read More
2016-01-17 23:08
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2015-11-24 01:56
So little time left to enjoy Seoul.I have been here for just four days, having come for the primary purpose of attending the fourth annual Single Moms' Day Human Library event. I will write… Read More
2015-11-24 01:52
Carri Stearns is a struggling mother, like many of us are for one reason or another. Raising five children, the birth of her son Camden on March 31, 2014 following an affair was the proverbi… Read More
2015-05-05 14:14
A lovely young friend of mine – adoptee from Korea, mother, wife, dedicated social worker and friend to many – passed away over the weekend. She was just past 40, far too young t… Read More
2015-02-22 18:41
I wrote a post last week following an online debacle not of my making, but which drew me in anyway and pretty much blew up my adoption world. Although I don't shy away from confrontation, th… Read More
2015-02-22 11:47
Last week was a rough one on my adoptionland. As I always do when this happens, I stepped back, circled the wagons and spent some time trying to re-center myself by focusing on my family. My… Read More
2015-01-08 13:40
There has been a lot of talk this week in my online circles around a post by a popular adoptive parent blogger about her kids and the holidays - "parenting kids who sabotage big days," as sh… Read More
2014-11-30 19:11
I had the honor of participating in Single Moms' Day in Seoul today. I share my testimony here in honor of Korea's single mothers - unmarried, divorced and widowed - who are fighting for the… Read More
2014-11-29 13:09
Korea, I love you, I really do. Since the moment my husband and I made the decision to bring a now very grown up Korean boy into our family, I have considered you and yours to be a part of m… Read More
2014-11-29 13:09
Adoptees rock! And they write incredible material that the entire adoption community is privileged to read. One of the latest among a string of wonderful books brought to us by the adoptee c… Read More
2014-11-29 13:09
As the parent of transracially adopted adults, I am thrilled at (and just a a little bit jealous of) the wealth of adoptee expertise available to newer parents today. Oh, if this information… Read More
2014-11-29 13:09
This makes me sad:That adoptive parents who on any other matter can see injustice are blind to it in adoption.Last week I spent some time in an online conversation with some individuals and… Read More
2014-11-29 13:09
Spoiler alert: If you have not read Philomena: A Mother, Her Son, and a Fifty-Year Search by Martin Sixsmith, read no further here. But come back after you’ve read the book and share y… Read More
2014-11-29 13:09
Paradigm Shift and I are honored to have received an unwarranted Liebster blog commendation by fellow adoptive parent activist, Terra Trevor. Terra is the author of Pushing up the Sky, the… Read More
2014-11-29 13:09
I saw something today that hit me like a punch in the gut. It was an attempt at humor, a skit that aired on SNLKorea, about adoptees - my kids, in other words.This skit took an adoptee's los… Read More
2014-11-29 13:09
This getting angry stuff always conflicts me. It feels so damn good to cut loose, but then someone will come along and admonish you for your anger, and you start questioning yourself, and th… Read More
2014-11-29 13:09
Mothers’ Day is around the corner. It is an incredibly emotional day for so many women, for reasons rooted in joy and in sorrow. This year I’m marking the day by traveling to Kor… Read More
2014-11-29 13:09
For the past several years, I have posted memorials at Third Mom to two men who lost their lives on September 11, 2001.  One was a stranger to me: Stanley L. Temple. The other was the b… Read More
2014-11-29 13:09
Last weekend I attended an absolutely fabulous conference: the St. John's University - Montclair State University Adoption Initiative Conference in Queens, NY. Talk about a meeting of adopti… Read More
2014-11-29 13:09
Thanks to two eye surgeries, multiple trips for work and adoption and the kick-off of a home renovation project, I have been on hiatus since June. It has been a hiatus from blogging only, as… Read More
2006-06-07 11:16
I feel like I'm resurfacing for air after spending a month in a submarine. To put it mildly, I've been busy.July and August were absolutely packed for me, hence my online absence here and el… Read More
2006-06-07 11:16
I read an article by Jane Jeong Trenka in the MPR News this morning: How to stop languishing and get your self adopted.Jane never pulls punches, so if you are an adoptive parent who is looki… Read More
2006-06-07 11:16
Depending on where you live in the U.S., you may be experiencing the last throes of winter or an early summer blast of heat. Here in DC, it's the latter, and the change has turned everyone's… Read More

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