Yes, I know - the title of this post sounds like the set-up to a bad joke, but in this case, it's straight on the money.In 1984 I was a 16 year-old kid and had a part time job working at a l… Read More

The problem with Socialist Governments is this:They eventually run out of everyone else's money.SD Read More

According to me - for what that's worth.And incidentally, the part of Charles Manson is played by a very young Ben Stiller.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5IrRe2F7qYSD Read More

A friend of mine who works in the legal profession made a short post this afternoon in which she related the following tidbit of info:So, my building and most of Phillip Street, including th… Read More

This afternoon I received a phone call on my mobile, and immediately dropped into hushed-tones and moved to a quiet area to continue the call.It was a call from a guy I've never met, about t… Read More

Good evening people,No, I'm not kidding; the title for this post was taken directly from a Sydney Morning Herald article that appeared in this afternoon's edition.The article opened with:"A… Read More

Good evening people,This weekend, at the ripe old age of 39, I wrote my first piece of gushing fanmail - and I sent it to a guy with Down's Syndrome who stars in a series of videos entitled… Read More

Leading British writer on terrorism and Islamism Martin Amis, in The Independent, on Western apologists:QUESTION: What is the most depressing thing about Britain you have observed in recent… Read More

Again, journos have missed the obvious headline for a man who just couldn't understand what an insufferable dork he truly was:"Irwin Resistant to Verbal Barbs - Marine Life Steps In"SD Read More

There is a common mistake that I see made regularly on LJ, so I'd like to take some time out to post a small lesson in the hope that people will take it to heart. When you're posting on the… Read More

It's time to rewrite the national anthem kids:Cronulla's thugs, let us rejoice,For we are dumb and tweeWe've golden tans and panel vans,We wear brown shirts by sea.Our sands abound with vapi… Read More

Last night my partner (the gorgeous miss_porcelain) made a post that referenced my love of computer gaming. Before any of you leap to the wrong conclusion, let's get something straight - I'… Read More

So John Brogden has been taken to hospital after an apparent suicide bid; he seems to have suffered self-inflicted knife-wounds and The Sydney Morning Herald had this to say:"He was found at… Read More

I like crime shows. Apparently I'm not alone in this as production houses by the dozen are turning out new shows every week.Of all of these new shows my favourite is CSI:New York. This is be… Read More

Like most Newtown residents, I have no difficulty with taking much of what I see with a grain of salt.If you want to get so many piercings that homeless people will be tempted to kidnap and… Read More

Dear Mr Bin Laden,Firstly, let me state that I was surprised to find you've been reading my journal. I was even more surprised to find that you're actually living in Mosman, but considering… Read More

My friend Diabolique posted an entry today in which she voiced her need for the healing powers of a good soup. Seeing that there are still quite a few weeks of winter to go, I have decided t… Read More

Recently I began another contract here in the CBD of Sydney. This has numerous advantages: it takes me thirty minutes to get from my front door to my desk of a morning, I am completely spoil… Read More

Last year I wrote an entry detailing how my girlfriend’s head was attempting to kill me – obviously her head has thus far been unsuccessful and I had since come to believe that i… Read More

I’ve had way too much espresso this morning. There is nothing unusual about this, as I count espresso among the five main food groups. The other four are :cappuccino, short blacks, Mar… Read More

Yesterday I celebrated St Patrick's Day and my Irish heritage in true Irish fashion. To be more specific, it completely slipped my mind, I forgot all about the damn thing and spent the eveni… Read More

What is it about public transport that makes certain people want to masturbate?Over the years I have encountered this phenomenon an unfortunate number of times. By "an unfortunate number of… Read More

I have decided to take it upon myself to hand out an award this evening. An award for the "funniest fucking response ever posted to my journal entries".Those of you that love the english lan… Read More

Over the last few months I've had a number of conversations in which I have mentioned a certain book - namely the one I've started writing. I've made a decision this morning that it's time f… Read More

In my last entry, I stated that my buddy Graham is one of the few people who can make me laugh like a hyena with a nitrous oxide cannister strapped to its face.Naturally, I have invited him… Read More