2022-12-04 07:09
Dear Carol: In general, around what age should older people stop managing their own finances? When should they stop driving? Do doctors check older people for cognitive pr… Read More
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Minding Our Elders® Blog
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Support for Boomers, caregivers, seniors, aging issues, health, caregiving, aging parents, Alzheimer's and dementia.
2022-12-03 07:21
Many elders want to keep their homes. Many are not in undue danger of falling unless they climb a ladder that they shouldn’t climb. They can shovel the sidewalk after a light snow… Read More
2022-12-02 07:13
Geriatric care management is a rapidly growing field in the elder care industry. As most caregivers know, researching and coordinating all the care options and resources available for aging… Read More
2022-12-01 07:09
…Prior to an aging parent’s health issues, the busy season described above would be a “normal” Christmas for you and your family. Things would be rushed but still mo… Read More
2022-11-29 07:15
Maybe your controlling elderly mother demands that you keep her company around the clock, but she certainly won’t watch any of the television shows you enjoy. Your overbearing father m… Read More
2022-11-28 07:15
…Get used to it—the guilt, I mean. The incessant phone call thing was just one of the many games I had to play as a dementia caregiver. When my mother would ring the first...&nb&hell…Read More
2022-11-27 07:15
Dear Carol: My mother always considered swearing cheap and a sign that people couldn’t find the right words to express themselves. Even so, she didn’t chastise others unless they… Read More
2022-11-26 07:15
.. The truth is that all caregivers struggle with these concerns, and many allow them to get in the way of taking the respite breaks they so badly need and deserve. Thanks to the... &nb&hell…Read More
2022-11-25 07:15
Providing care for someone who lives with any type of dementia — whether it’s Alzheimer’s, vascular, Lewy body, or any of the myriad incarnations — can be intimidatin… Read More
2022-09-27 06:01
Dr. Gail Gross, Ph.D., Doctor of Education, is a nationally recognized family, child development, and human behavior expert, author, and educator. She has contributed to CNN, the “Tod… Read More
2022-09-25 06:15
Dear Readers: This morning, as I answered another email asking how I choose questions for the column, I realized that even readers who don’t ask might be curious. So, today I’… Read More
2022-09-24 06:10
Photo credit Arthur Pflueger
Most seniors are keen on staying in their homes as they age, but family caregivers often struggle to meet their loved ones’ needs and still carve o… Read More
2022-09-07 06:01
Most younger men don’t spend a lot of time considering the health of their prostate. However, around the age of 50, they’ll likely find that their physicians want to check out pr… Read More
2022-09-06 06:01
Photo credit Alif Kusuma
Even the most well-prepared caregiver needs assistance and reinforcements from time to time. If one’s siblings cannot be physically present, they… Read More
2022-09-05 06:01
Photo credit John Mark Smith
Like most adults, I’ve second-guessed many of my own decisions. While most were made with my own future in mind, that all changed when I became a fami… Read More
2022-09-04 06:01
Photo credit Vladimir Soares
Dear Carol: My mom has advanced lung disease and is also in the middle stages of dementia. While we understand that neither of her diseases can be cur… Read More
2022-09-03 06:01
Photo credit Abigail Keenan
...Then, the unthinkable: Your dad has a heart attack. You rush in to help... I refer to this as the “creep-up factor” because while ma… Read More
2022-08-01 06:01
Photo credit Deniz Altindas
Don’t let the title scare you, folks. I’m not presenting a “system” here. Personally, I’ve never seen a chart or graph designed to… Read More
2022-07-31 10:00
Photo credit Thomas Sumner
Dear Carol: My dad suffered a massive stroke that has damaged his ability to find words and name everyday objects. His doctor calls this aphasia. For example… Read More
2022-07-30 06:01
We’ve all heard that we must first learn to love ourselves before we can love others. Yet, many of us have grown up with family members who were hard on us or taught us that self-love… Read More
2022-07-29 06:01
Sharing a kitchen with another cook can be trying for some people. Sharing a kitchen with a person who has dementia can be more than trying; it can be unsafe. Cooking and eating are bas… Read More
2022-07-28 06:01
A friend and I recently toured a veteran's home in a midsize Minnesota town. The facility was beautifully designed and superbly run. The only thing that struck me as unusual was that I didn'… Read More
2022-07-05 06:01
As we travel our own unique journeys, most of us find that certain phrases or concepts take on the status of truth in our worldview. Our personal principles may not be identical to those of… Read More
2022-07-04 06:01
Photo credit William Krause
Most family caregivers want what is best for their loved ones, and they’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen. Unfortunately, discerning what’s… Read More
2022-07-03 06:01
Photo credit Andrea Picquadio
Dear Carol: My mom, now 87, voluntarily moved to assisted living three years ago. She said at the time that she loved it. She continues to have chronic… Read More
2022-06-28 06:01
Photo credit Pexels Elevate
I once visited a caregiver friend and her mother, who had moderate Alzheimer’s disease. At one point during the visit, the mother abruptly stood up, held o… Read More
2022-06-27 06:07
Photo credit Abigail Keenan
A billboard in my city carries a simple message: "Most families say, 'Why did we wait so long to call hospice?' "
When I talk with our local hospice folks, they… Read More
2022-06-26 06:01
Dear Carol: My wonderful dad has Alzheimer’s. I struggle daily with my grief over all that’s been lost but I’m also grateful for what he can still do. As you often advise… Read More
2022-06-18 06:01
This Father’s Day, I’ll have fond memories of my dad, as will many caregivers and adult children. The juxtaposition of the past and present can make these memories bittersweet. B… Read More
2022-06-17 06:09
While change is difficult for people of all ages, deviating from the status quo seems to become even more taxing as we get older and more set in our ways. Yet it’s often our elders who… Read More
2022-02-21 07:01
...My grandma has had mixed dementia, probably a combination of Alzheimer’s and vascular, for many years. She’s generally sweet and compliant, just wanting to stay comfortable in… Read More
2022-02-20 07:01
Dear Carol: About three months ago, my mom moved from the home where she and my deceased dad had lived to an assisted living facility (ALF). This was her idea, and I was all for it, but h… Read More
2022-02-19 07:01
Most of us who have cared for someone living with dementia have tried our best to determine how best to provide that care. We research. We try putting ourselves in their place. We do our be… Read More
2021-11-16 17:27
Harris Sterling said he didn't know what he was doing when he was trying to find quality incontinence products for his dad who had Alzheimer's. Nearly every widely advertised brand he bought… Read More
2021-11-15 07:01
Older adults can seem stubborn to you - and they may be - but sometimes this stubbornness is a reaction to being talked down to or with the feeling that their autonomy is being threatened. O… Read More
2021-11-14 07:01
Photo credit Charles Buchler
Dear Carol: Both of my parents are deceased. Dad was an alcoholic who verbally abused everyone and physically abused both of his daughters. Mom never did any… Read More
2021-10-07 06:01
Emergency room doctor Kevin Haselhorst had an epiphany while he tried valiantly to save an elderly man who’d been through one too many traumas. His book, “Wishes To Die For: A Ca… Read More
2021-10-06 06:01
As you watch your parents or other beloved elders age, sometimes worry becomes inevitable. Should they have housing upgrades? Can they continue to live independently? Your intention is… Read More
2021-08-08 06:01
Photo credit Jonathan Cosens
Dear Carol: My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s when he was only 57, but he had difficulty with both decision-making and short-term memory for quit… Read More
2021-07-29 06:01
Photo credit Sydney Sims
After all, that is what family does, right? But when it becomes clear that one or both parents need an increasing amount of assistance, many adult children find the… Read More
2021-07-28 06:01
Incontinence accidents happen. Sometimes the pullup or brief doesn't get changed quite as often as it should. Sometimes, the fit is wrong or it's not put on quite right. Other times, the pro… Read More
2021-07-27 06:01
Do you have an older friend or relative who isn't bathing as much as your think they should? Does this worry you? If this is the case, you aren't alone. Older adults often don't bathe as fre… Read More
2021-06-26 06:01
...My husband and I have been married 25 years and have raised two children. Just as we were thinking that we’d be able to travel because the kids are old enough to be on their own, my… Read More
2021-06-24 06:01
When someone else's welfare depends on us the feeling of responsibility can be slightly (or extremely) overwhelming. Additionally, it's easy for us to lose our own sense of self and even our… Read More
2021-06-06 12:00
(Corrected Link) Caregivers work hard to do the best that they can under daunting conditions. This goes double for dementia caregivers. We do the best each day with the information that we h… Read More
2021-06-06 06:01
Photo image Sander Weeteling
Dear Carol: My husband is only 56 but he has early-onset Alzheimer’s. I’ve done my best during COVID to keep him interested in activities and… Read More
2021-06-05 06:01
Medications aren't inherently bad, even for older adults. Many relieve uncomfortable symptoms and some save lives. However, there are side effects with any medication and all too frequently… Read More
2021-05-10 06:01
Many older adults have trouble reconciling their need for incontinence protection, even something as simple as a light pad. This stems from our societal emphasis on the fact that only babies… Read More
2021-05-09 06:01
Photo image Manignacio Amenabar
Dear Carol: Is sharing funny caregiving situations with other caregivers disrespectful? My dad has dementia. I love him and would never hurt him, but his dis… Read More
2021-05-08 06:01
Many people are genetically predisposed to developing certain diseases, among them diabetes, cancer, heart disease and Alzheimer’s. It’s natural to worry if you’ve watched… Read More
2021-04-25 06:01
Photo credit Ashwin Vaswani
Dear Carol: My mom, 79, loved being in her own home even though her physical health was declining. Her mind is exceptionally sharp so there wasn’t mu… Read More
2021-04-24 06:01
We love our parents - or at least care enough that we feel at least somewhat responsible to help them out in their later years. That's all good. What most people don't see coming, though, is… Read More
2021-04-23 06:01
Being a dementia caregiver is hard work in more ways than people who haven't done it can imagine. However, one practical problem is something most people can relate to which is that drenched… Read More
2021-04-09 06:01
Did your parent or spouse living with dementia - or even someone not showing signs - suddenly change personalities or act confused? There could be a fairly common explanation for this. … Read More
2021-04-08 06:01
Urinary incontinence is the most common type of incontinence but there isn't just one cause.
Continue reading on Egosancares blog for more about types of urinary incontinence and different… Read More
2021-04-07 06:01
...Situations such as dementia, heart ailments, and incontinence do not go away whether your loved one is in a care facility or at home with you. In fact now, as countless people have become… Read More
2021-03-04 07:01
Is having your parent who lives with dementia in your home fine except for - ugh! - incontinence problems? Read about the common struggle of ruined furniture and carpets on the Egosancares b… Read More
2021-03-03 12:13
Are you caring for someone who has dementia of any type and in addition, has developed incontinence? Do they forget to use the bathroom or resist your help? We all know that your loved one i… Read More
2021-03-02 07:01
Photo credit Sheka Boychenko
Dear Carol: ...Practically everything that you read about adult incontinence refers to older people with prostate problems, or menopause, or dementia –… Read More
2021-01-23 07:01
Dear Carol: ...Practically everything that you read about adult incontinence refers to older people with prostate problems, or menopause, or dementia – or whatever. Young people would… Read More
2021-01-22 07:01
Dear Candid Caregiver: My heart is breaking! My mom and I have always been close, even shopping together and having lunch quite regularly, so it was devastating when she was diagnosed with… Read More
2021-01-21 07:01
Dear Candid Caregiver: My dad is in the middle stages of Alzheimer’s disease. Meanwhile, my mom is recovering from cancer surgery, and the prognosis isn’t good. I’m trying… Read More
2021-01-14 07:01
Mark Wilson was a decades-long Alzheimer’s caregiver who inspired this article because of his testimonial about the quality of the products as well as the personal support that Egosa… Read More
2021-01-13 07:01
...In fact, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) says there is evidence that some overactive bladder medications (OBMs) can cause issues that are similar to Alzheimer’s and may, in… Read More
2021-01-12 07:01
...Other common types of incontinence among adults include urge incontinence when you have a strong impulse to use the toilet but cannot get there in time; overflow incontinence, which… Read More
2020-11-02 07:01
November is a month of awareness and Egosan is eager to be part of these celebrations. So, let’s begin by letting you know just what’s up in health awareness for this month that… Read More
2020-11-01 07:01
Photo credit Ricardo Gomez Angel
Dear Carol: My dad has mixed dementia. We moved him from his home to live with us when the memory care unit he’d been waiting for stopped accepting… Read More
2020-10-31 06:01
When dementia symptoms appear it’s natural to fear that the person affected has an incurable form of dementia. Rather than reacting with panic, however, it’s far better to tr… Read More
2020-10-20 06:01
Dear Carol: My mom has advanced lung disease as well as late-stage Alzheimer’s. We know that there are no cures for her current conditions, but the doctors don’t seem to ha… Read More
2020-10-19 06:01
Photo credit Magnet Me
Dear Carol: My mom is 79 and lives alone. We have long-lived genes in my family, so I expect her to be fine for quite a while. I love her very much and we have a g… Read More
2020-10-18 11:12
Menopause: The ceasing of menstruation. Sounds simple, but for each woman, the process of going through perimenopause and eventually arriving at menopause can be fraught with difficult… Read More
2020-10-17 06:01
Make your facial expression pleasant when appropriate. Even if you don’t feel like smiling, the physical act may boost your own mood. Smiling can also reflect itself in your voice… Read More
2020-10-15 06:01
There are countless positive aspects to long-term caregiving, but those who’ve done it know that there are also negative effects, many lifelong. While some effects have been well studi… Read More
2020-09-16 17:38
What if living means risking injury? That is the question many adult children ask. Older bones don’t mend quickly and sometimes a break can be life-threatening. Pneumonia or flu c… Read More
2020-09-15 06:01
One of the most painful times for some families comes when their loved one can no longer thrive with in-home care and is in need of the skilled care that a nursing home can provide. Difficul… Read More
2020-09-14 06:01
As a family caregiver of multiple elders, I needed a facility where more than one of my elders could live while I cared for others in various locations. My family was fortunate to find an… Read More
2020-08-26 06:01
Most of us who have cared for someone living with dementia have tried our best to determine how best to provide that care. We research. We try putting ourselves in their place. We do our bes… Read More
2020-08-25 06:01
Dear Candid Caregiver: My parents were always open about their long-term plans for retirement, saying that they’ve worked hard and retirement was going to be the payoff. Travel w… Read More
2020-08-24 06:01
Photo credit Edward Cisneros
...You're visiting Mom in her apartment and you've been there long enough to do laundry and clean up the bathroom and kitchen. You visit a bit. She is watchin… Read More
2020-08-22 06:01
The people we love and care for often reach a point where we can no longer be sole care providers and we need to look at options. This is painful because up to this point we’ve lik… Read More
2020-08-21 06:01
While family members providing care for loved ones share many issues, there’s a different emotional dynamic for spousal caregivers than adult children caring for a parent. Betsy E. Wur… Read More
2020-08-20 11:21
Many conditions can carry as a side effect some degree of fecal incontinence, so if you are affected, or someone you care for is struggling with the issue, having a better understanding of t… Read More
2020-08-16 06:01
Photo credit Amin Lofti
Dear Carol: My mother, age 94, has smoked her whole life, carried too much weight, eaten junk, wouldn’t exercise, and wouldn’t even take a vitamin. La… Read More
2020-08-15 06:01
Photo credit Abigail Keenan
When the paperwork was finally signed to get hospice care for my dad, I was grateful. There would now be a routine of care for him where he could live in comfort… Read More
2020-08-14 06:01
Photo credit Edward Cisneros
As our parents age and need more assistance, most adult children do what they can to help. For many, the first step is a weekly stop by Mom and Dad’s home… Read More
2020-08-09 06:01
Photo credit Mosoianu Bogdan
Dear Carol: My never-married aunt was like a second mom to me. She’s always been abrupt and forceful but still able to show love and kindness. Unfortun… Read More
2020-08-08 06:01
Medications save lives and/or increase the quality of life for many people. Yet, there are few if any medications that have no side effects, many of which may negatively affect the brain or… Read More
2020-08-07 06:01
Dear Carol: My mom had a lot of health problems in her life, so her prescription list is long. Yet, sure enough, after her last doctor visit, she got yet one more prescription. Now, ju… Read More
2020-08-06 06:01
Dear Carol: My father is 72 and is in the moderate stages of dementia. Before his dementia diagnosis, he was an active hunter and fisherman. He also has incontinence issues due to pros… Read More
2020-08-05 06:01
Photo credit Behard Grossgasteiger
Hiring in-home care for my neighbor, Joe, was quite an ordeal. The company we chose and their caregivers were great, but the quality of care wasn't the is… Read More
2020-08-01 06:01
Dear Candid Caregiver: My dad is in the middle stages of Alzheimer’s disease. Meanwhile, my mom is recovering from cancer surgery, and the prognosis isn’t good. I’m trying… Read More
2020-07-31 06:01
Dear Candid Caregiver: My 79-year-old mom has been widowed for a little over a year. She’d always depended on Dad to help her because her arthritis limited her movement and she uses a… Read More
2020-07-30 06:01
Photo credit Nathan Anderson
Sex and death: It’s odd that these two topics of conversation should bring so much anxiety to parents and children. One addresses the beginning of life, w… Read More
2020-07-29 06:01
Photo credit Daniel Von Appen
Caregiving is a job that is full of ups and downs. Many of us take on this role out of love and concern. But as care needs increase, the pressure ramps up and… Read More
2020-07-25 06:01
Dear Carol: My mom is only 79 but she has a lot of health problems including lung disease requiring oxygen. She receives good health care through her Medicare policies, and s… Read More
2020-07-23 06:01
Our status as caregivers hasn't changed, yet circumstances have dramatically changed how we are able to provide care. This is the grim reality that caregivers are forced to accept. I can't c… Read More
2020-07-22 06:01
Dear Carol: My mom, age 79, has had steadily declining health for several years. Arthritis is a genetic problem in my family, so pain is an issue. Besides that, she has severe asthma, so he… Read More
2020-07-21 06:01
Dear Carol: I’m a 65-year-old man who had prostate surgery for cancer that left me incontinent. While I’m certainly grateful that the surgery stopped my cancer, I&rs&helli…Read More
2020-07-20 06:01
Photo credit Nathan Anderson
If you’re like most family caregivers, you probably made a promise to your parent(s) years ago that you would never place them in a long-term care facilit… Read More
2020-07-19 12:24
Photo credit Thomas Summer
Dear Carol: My husband who has dementia has lived in an assisted living facility for less than a year. The move was painful for me, but I could no longer keep… Read More
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