Some of the better jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe 2019

• My mate came second in a Winston Churchill lookalike competition. He was close, but no cigar – Goose
• The problem with the Spider-Man French adaptation is the character is called Peter Parkour, and they immediately guess he is Spider-Man – Alex Kealy.
• If you are wondering how I got disabled, it’s because I didn’t forward that chain email to 10 of my closest friends when I was younger – Lost Voice Guy.
• I’ve got an Eton themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad’s contacts – Ivo Graham.
• With enough revs and determination any restaurant is a drive-thru – Tom Taylor.
• I’m addicted to smoking jackets – I’m on 20 a day – I’ve tried the patches but, if anything, they just make them more fashionable – Olaf Falafel.
• I suppose lesbian sex is a bit like cricket, in that it goes on forever and there’s a lot of men watching it at home, alone, on the internet – Catherine Bohart.
• A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, “Yes, of course, that’s 20 cows.” – Jack Lambert
• I’m an openly 30 man, and it’s hard to come out as 30… my friends were supportive, my boyfriend was supportive but my mum actually tried to kick me out of the house – Eli Matthewson.
• True crime documentaries are the only place the entertainment industry will take a chance on an unknown female lead – Jena Friedman.
• Sauvignon Blanc is French for “Text Your Ex” – Steff Todd.
• I’m from a competitive family. I remember as a kid my brother and I used to do that thing where you’d see who can hold their breath underwater for the longest… I really miss him – Daniel Audritt.