For those seeking their fix of up-to-the minute Christmas Cracker Jokes, here are ten of the best for 2017:

• Why was Theresa May sacked as nativity manager? She couldn’t run a stable government.
• Why don’t Southern Rail train guards share advent calendars? They want to open the doors themselves.
• What’s the difference between Ryanair and Santa? Santa flies at least once a year.
• Kim Jong Un will play Santa this year in the South’s annual pantomime. He said he fancied a Korea change.
•  Why did Donald Trump continuously decorate the Christmas tree? Because people kept saying ‘moron’ to him.
• Why was the planned Ryanair TV documentary scrapped? They were unable to air a pilot.
• Which TV Christmas special is being filmed in Brussels this year? Deal Or No Deal.
• Theresa May has asked Santa for a home makeover this year. First thing on the list was a new Cabinet.
•  What did Bruce Forsyth say when the Christmas pheasant repeated on him? ‘Good game, good game’.
• Why did Jeremy Corbyn ask people not to eat sprouts on Christmas Day? He wants to give peas a chance.

Filed under: Humour, News Tagged: best one-liners, Christmas cracker jokes