In perhaps one of the most delayed news coverage (ever), today we are discussing... Haiti. It's unfortunate that a tragedy of such proportions occurred and by no means is this article intended to make fun of those in need of support right now. Actually, you could help by donating any amount, you have a link to UNICEF's fund raising campaign right here.

The magnitude 7.0 earthquake killed hundreds of thousands and left many more homeless, devastated the capital and blew up the economy. Boy, did Haiti move to Africa or what? Because any way you look at it, the poor are now poorer, food and water are a luxury and surviving the day is all that matters right now. And as if that by itself wasn't already enough, a shady, delusional douche bagPat Robertson's message to the world. thinks Haitians had it coming for a while now, because of a pact made with the DevilWho made a what now? WITH WHO? some 200 years ago. What a trollHairy little bugger., right, guys? But hey, don't rip on the old man, you can't really blame AlzheimerF*ck you dolphin, f*ck you whale..

And while organizations such as Avaaz have raised more than $1 million, countries like Romania donated a meager $50,000Illustration of Romania's Treasury. Wow, that makes me really proud of my nationality. Who knows, maybe the reason for the global economic crisis is that somewhere along the way Adam and Eve made a pact with the Devil. Oh, wait, they did, kind of. DumbassesAdam lost his trademark leaf at a poker game..

Back to the issue at hand, a more rational (read "absurd") explanation than that whole "Devil-owns-their-ass" shenanigan is that we have two more years to go and, well, the end's got to start (unintentional pun...or not) somewhere. Might as well be Haiti, right?