Disclaimer: Spoilers for this episode of Tyler Perry and OWN's The Haves and the Have Nots after the jump! If you haven't seen it, do not click any further (until you've seen it, then definitely read)! Thank you to the Oprah Winfrey Network for the pictures!
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Candace immediately rejects FitzCharles' offer to frame Benny for Quincy's murder. He explains that it will be next to impossible to have her in his inauguration if she's wanted for questioning in a murder investigation. She kicks him out of her room and when FitzCharles gets to the other side of the door he locks it. Ooh. I'm so sad! He's so relevant to the overarching plot of the show!
Hanna and Veronica go to talk to Benny, leaving Mitch and Katheryn in the waiting room together. She asks him about being a Malone and he tells her that he's just Mitch. She reminds him that no matter how hard he tries, the Malone name will always follow him around. Out of nowhere home girl tells Mitch that her pussy is made out of diamonds and golds and says she could really use a man like him. They started flirting (?) with each other a little until Mitch realized she's not playing. She really wants a piece of him and this scares Mitch enough for him to run out to the car to wait. Veronica and Hanna go into Benny's interrogation room and asks him what's going on. He tells Hanna that nothing happened before she continues asking him whether or not he killed Quincy. He tells them that he gave the secret service a sample of his DNA and the two of them say "nigga what?" with their eyes. Veronica goes to curse somebody out and the two of them discuss Jeffrey and Candace not calling to check in on them after Little Q died (but she still has no idea).
As much as I can't stand Veronica, the bitch is just funny as hell. From "girl, you're strong!" to "honey, you got a nervous twitch. You alright?", everything she says when she's with Justin is just gold. Justin confronts her about the video and tells her to delete it and Veronica reminds him that she warned him to stay away from Jeffrey and he didn't obey. He asks her one last time and she denies one last time. I really, really wish I cared what Justin meant when he said she'll be sorry. After Hanna leaves the interrogation room, she insists on waiting for Benny but Katheryn reminds her that they still have some funeral arrangements to work on. The acting DA, George, shows up to the police station and questions Katheryn about the murder of Jennifer Salisidontgiveafuck. After he tells her the the locater in her phone, and car, tracked the Cryer house as the last place she was seen alive, Veronica comes through and tells her to not say another word to him. She swats him away like a fly and tells him to get an arrest warrant before asking her anything else.
Candace goes to Ericka's room, telling her about "some very powerful guy" who she considers to be THE mark. She tells her that he was ten steps ahead of her and that he wanted her to give up Benny in order to give her a better life. Ericka doesn't even get to finish telling Candace what a good idea she thinks it is because Candace slaps the entire holy ghost out of her body mid sentence and tells that bitch to remember her place. Ericka's still the most boring and irrelevant character on the show but this made up for at least all the shit she (hasn't) done all season. She stayed down on the bed for a few good seconds. Ericka tries to give Candace some advice but Candace has to go. When Ericka asks her where she's going she says she's not going to tell her because when she borrowed a dress from her the other night she smelt War's cologne on it. Ericka denies, denies, denies dealing with War. Candace shrugs it off but you know in the back of her head the chains are beginning to un-rust and takes another dress. Ericka flies into an angry rage, calling War and ordering him to send someone down to the hotel to get Candace. War laughs and hangs up on her, basically.
Melissa Jean is going through it. She's in bed angry, missing her father when Jeffrey comes in. He tries to talk to her but she does her best to keep him quiet because she doesn't want to talk to anyone. You'd think after suffering through a cold mama like that Melissa would have something reminiscent of a back bone (then again, maybe that's why she's letting another woman who could be her mother control her so easily. She's used to it). Her mom reveals to Jeffrey that this is the third time she's tried to commit suicide. He tells her there's treatment for what she's going to but her mom is just absolute garbage. Depression isn't black and white and she seems to think Melissa can just turn on and off when she wants to kill herself. Garbage. Get out. I hope this is the last we see of her evil ass.
EPISODE GRADE: C+
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Storyline grades:
Candace/Charles: C
Hanna/Veronica/Benny/Katheryn/Mitch: B-
Veronica/Justin: B
Ericka/War/Candace: C (only because of the slap)
Jeffrey/Melissa: B-
Stray notes:
-Can we PLEASE pick the pace up? Pretty please? Just because you can stretch someone cutting the crust off of their sandwich into an entire season doesn't mean you should.
-Bitch, how in the everlasting realistic black hell does Wyatt, a coke-head that refuses to work out, still have that body? I know this is Tyler Perry land where one day lasts an entire season but come on.
-Wyatt wants to be a fireman. Cute. If the show stays committed to all of this development then I'll actually give him a full paragraph in the reviews again but for right now him and Anna can stay in the condo.
-"I'm not into taking handouts but I hear you're into taking hand jobs." You better sit your two dollar sweater ass up, girl. Straight men get hand jobs all the time. You can't be a bitch AND un-clever, it doesn't work like that. (edit: right after I wrote this, Jeffrey said the same thing. Bless you for catching that shade, sir!)
-"We're cool and all, but I'll throw you out of a window."
-"She's a hoe and don't you trust her." Hoes get things done.
How to waste time on a show 101:
"Lady, I'm warning you." "Okay, what's your warning?" "...Lady." ........
"I told you who it was." "Who?" "I don't know."
Worst sexual metaphor(s) of the night:
Once again, nothing this week. But FitzCharles is the worst.
"Do you know what color panties I have on?" "No, I haven't seen them yet."
