By PAT HARTMAN
News Editor

For Today’s Zaman, Kathy Hamilton collected stories about Istanbul Taxi drivers, meticulously detailed anecdotes such as we might hear if we sat down with the author over a few beers. She wants us to understand that the horror stories are not typical, but still…. Actually, most of what Hamilton says is probably applicable in any large city on the globe. Here’s a sample of her hard-headed Turkish Taxis 101 advice :

For the day Rate, the meter will display the word gündüz. The night rate is in effect from midnight until 6 a.m., and the meter will then display the word gece. If the wrong fare base is displayed, do not hesitate to tell the driver. If he argues, says the meter is broken or offers to drive to your destination for a flat rate, do not take that cab.

Torsa Ghosal, who writes on style and popular culture for the Kolkata Mirror, discusses the difficulty encountered by a journalist when trying to conduct tourist-in-the-street interviews in India. Because they are so incessantly importuned by beggars, visitors soon develop a reflex to repulse anybody. They become kind of unapproachable in general. Interviewees who do stop to talk, tend to feel that the city formerly known as Calcutta is the least westernized Indian metropolis, and the one where you’re most likely to find a truly cosmopolitan population mix.

In The Korea Herald, Yoo Jeong-jin offers an extensive course in how to recover any items you might have lost in a taxi. First, the author notes that the subway has a great tracking system for lost articles, and tells exactly how to activate it, and we do mean exactly. Same with the buses, as well as the taxis. This may be the most thorough advice ever offered on how to retrieve lost belongings, in any city anywhere, ever.

The drivers of taxis in many countries are routinely accused of overcharging, for instance in Kolkata, where a tourist might be hit up for two or three times the standard rate. In some places they are notorious for refusing short trips they deem unworthy of their attention. Anyone who thinks affiliate marketing originated with the Internet has another think coming: a taxi driver might have forged such links with local businesses, that he’ll only take you where you want to go if you stop off, en route, at some of his friends’ establishments. And of course there’s the old take-the-long-way-around trick.

One traveler recommends learning enough of the local language to give the impression that you know what you’re doing. What do you say? When paying the driver, you say “Here is a twenty-dollar bill. I should be getting eight dollars back,” or whatever the local currency is. This person feels that there is power in explictness. And in keeping your eyes peeled, because these scoundrels will try to switch denominations on you. Another good reason to speak the lingo is, as Sian Powell put it, “Asking what the hell is going on in sign language is very difficult from the back of a cab.”

Matters of taxi adequacy are voted on by travelers who compare notes online. Athens, it appears, has the filthiest vehicles, New York the worst drivers, and Paris the rudest. As for survival, it’s always a good idea to look for taxi stands, and only take cabs that wear the regulation colors and accouterments. They should be proudly displaying their phone number on every available surface. Ask the hotel staff beforehand how much it should cost to get someplace, and confirm that with the driver before you get in.

Make sure the inside of the door has a handle. Keep your stuff with you, not in the trunk, in case you feel the need to evacuate the vehicle suddenly. And feel free to bail out, as long as you first drop (or fling, as the case may be) onto the driver’s seat enough cash to cover the distance you’ve gone. Do your homework, have a general idea what direction you’re supposed to be going in – towards or away from the mountains, for instance. Keep an eye on street signs. Pray.

Kevin Dolgin is the nicest fella you’d ever want to meet, not the type to carelessly stereotype or slander his fellow human beings. So, when even he casts a jaundiced eye upon a class of people, it kind of makes you sit up and take notice. “Don’t believe the taxi drivers” is what Kevin says, and plenty else about taxis, in The Third Tower Up From the Road – including his personal survival strategy, which cannot be divulged here.

But we’d like to hear yours.

New York Taxis photo courtesy of shedboy, used under this Creative Commons license