Am I cut out to be a Software engineer? That's the one question that has been running in my head for weeks.
Two years back, I had my first programming class. I was fairly intrigued by the concept of programming, but I thought to myself, "You'll probably like hardware more." Boy was I wrong. I never hated hardware engineering, I just couldn't get myself to love it. I delved into the world of Software engineering a year after and have never looked back.
Deloitte's USDC is my first ever software engineering internship, I was never sure what I should expect, but I certainly did not expect to question myself about the path I took that I was so certain about.
In my job, it involves the integration of different technologies and using the strength of each technology to compliment another's flaw. I decided that I was going to build a ChatBot, with technologies like SignalR, ElasticSearch. and API.AI. There were obstacles here and there, but I was able to get past all of it. Until React came into the picture: The integration of React and SignalR.
0, zero, kosong, 零, ゼロ. That's the amount of progress I've had in a week. 0%
Doubting my capability became inevitable. Are you really cut out to be a programmer? Maybe I still have time to join the business major. At least I won't fail as terribly as I am right now. I googled numerous articles about whether I really am suited for this.
"Rubber Duck Debugging"
That's what came up.
Yes, Programmers use rubber ducks as an alternative approach to solving their problems.
No, it's not some sort of program that magically debugs our whole program. You buy a duck, and you start talking to it about your problem, and then you explain to it the solution you have in mind. The concept is that, sometimes you think you don't know, but deep down, you know the answer. It just has not surfaced to you yet.
So I went to Walmart. All focused with getting myself a Duck. And...
I ended up with Jack the Dog. It's pretty close.
I started talking to it. And...
It didn't work. I still had no idea how to solve the problem that I was facing. But I do feel less frustrated with my new plush toy.
I went back home, empty handed again. I was a failure, with zero progress.
"Getting stuck does not determine whether you're an engineer." Karine said as she turned her steering wheel to get past the first turning into Messiah College, "People get stuck all the time. We are engineers because we persist through the problems no matter how much failure we have to go through."
Maybe that's what it means to be an engineer, or a better person in general. I am not a genius nor am I great at programming. But I do know that I love it, that I want to change the world and touch people's lives with it.
It's not about how good you are now, but how good you want to become and how hard you are going to work to get past all the failures. That's what makes you an engineer. Persistent, determination, and the courage to look failure in the eyes, grab hold onto it's hands and say "Help me grow, old friend!"
