By: REALSPORTS
SportParody Staff Writer

Tuesday was a great day for the White Sox. Not only did they pound the defending champion Red Sox 14 to 2, they actually sold out their stadium (article here).

With a good number of White Sox nation behind bars, reaching sellout capacity this year has been tough for the White Sox, despite the team’s amazing run. During the playoff series, White Sox officials had their fingers crossed for a sell-out, and were glad that the handful of White Sox fans that actually exist really came through.

One such fan, Jamie Barber, who watched the game from the Cell’s famed upper deck, was glad she came. “I couldn’t really see the game from up here”, said Barber, while being interviewed 2000 feet above the field. “But that’s ok. I come to games more to see White Sox fans brawl and beat each other to a bloody pulp.”

The players, meanwhile, appreciated the extra support from their fans. Said White Sox speedster Scott Podsednik, “When I looked up and saw all those fans, I couldn’t believe it. You can usually count the number of fans at our games on one hand.” Podsednik made it clear that he truly appreciated all of the support. “When I saw all those wife-beaters and mullets in the stands, it really brought a tear to my eye. That’s special, man.”

Following the White Sox victory, the raucous crowd continued to celebrate by heading to the only bar within five miles of the stadium, Joe’s Mullet Shack. Reports said a good number were mugged on the way out, including diehard White Sox fan Brian Johnson. Johnson was simply too happy to care, however. “Yeah, I got mugged, but you sorta expect that when you visit the Cell. It’s cool, though… I don’t have a job so the robber couldn’t take any money from me anyway.”


This Tire Fire is burning bright tonight after the White Sox victory