NO, SIMON.

By The Fillerbuster

Greetings and salutations, people.  Thanks for coming aboard (the boat).

SIDE NOTE: If you still like my one liners on every subject in sports news, it still exists.  Just go on the site and click on the This And That dropdown.  One sentence, numbered, old school style with comments on just about everything in sports and not in sports…still in play.

What is happening as I start embarking in 2018 on this focused idea only blog is that I get triggered, think of a theme, and then just go down that road.  I can’t stop thinking about it at some point during the week.  I figure I will have plenty of future blogs, but I guess I should clarify WHAT triggered me in this case.  It took until Saturday morning for this trigger to occur, but, as usual, it DID happen eventually.

TRIGGER 1:   Booking Presidents Day vacation weekend for Cabo San Lucas.

TRIGGER 2:   Realizing that I have, in order, done the three things Sammy Hagar mentions in track 4 of the Van Halen album, OU8012.  Been to Rome, Dallas, TX, man, I thought I had seen it all.  I did Rome in May on a cruise, Dallas for the Red River Shootout, and soon Cabo.  Kind of weird that I did them in that exact order randomly, aye?

TRIGGER 3:   If I GET a chance to incorporate Van Halen into a blog, I usually will.  I remember going on a Spring Break and debating with my fraternity brothers how 5150 might be the greatest album of all time.  I am sticking to it.  Well, the IDEA as a frat boy college student anyway.

You need a foundation/ starting point.  Here is your starting point.   This would be the song in question.  Great tune.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZL8yWpUPMCY

So, let’s get started.  Heck, let’s go in order.

Rome/ “Roam”:

Who will roam?  NFL QB’s this offseason.

EDITOR’S NOTE:  Come on, people.  I work a full time job.  I BELIEVE that all the below is correct, but there MAY be 1-2 incorrect facts.  Or, maybe I forgot someone.  I do what I can do with the time I dedicate to my blog.

The trade of Alex Smith basically started the dominoes falling a couple of weeks before we expected, but they have started, and you are not starting those dominoes over.  Do you realize Alex Smith cashed in with no postseason success, no deep throws, and a 34 plug-in on the “age” line?

Before we go bananas over how much Kirk Cousins will make, let’s level set with the NBA to make us feel better about what he will make possibly.

• Chandler Parson makes $23 million this year and is averaging less than 9 points a game.
• Luol Deng makes $17 million, averaged 7.6 last year, and is presently shut down.
• Evan Turner is making $17 million at 7.6 PPG this year.
• Bismack Biyombo makes $17 million and averages 7.0 PPG and, more depressingly, only 4.5 RPG.

So, don’t be TOO angry at Kirk Cousins when he breaks the bank with someone ($25 mil-$30 mil).  The news today is that the Skins might even SIGN him to the franchise tag and THEN trade him.  That is crazy, but the idea is to get something in return.  But, who will take on a $30 million plus contract in all reality if that happens.  No one obvious.   He is 24-23 (ONE game over .500) in his three starting seasons with a 97.5 rating.  Not overwhelming.  But, the league has a lack of good options at QB (and won’t even hire Kaep these days), so think of this like the early 2000’s when big centers in the NBA went out of style a little.  Confusion.  But, the guy had JUST enough changes in coordinators and coaches and our empathy that he has been unwanted that this sort of elevates his stats a bit.  I think depending on what the Skins do with the franchise tag, he might be a Bronco or Jet.  Living here in the Mile High City, I can say that both Von Miller AND the local talking heads want him somehow.  The Bills, Dolphins, and Browns will all be calling him, but if I am him and can’t make the Broncos work, I am proactively CALLING the Cardinals or Jags.  Stocked cupboard for sure in both cases.

Tyrod Taylor is only 28 and is better than Kirk Cousins by one game at 22-20 over the last couple of seasons.  Someone will reach.  I think if the Jets don’t get Cousins, they might settle for him.  Know this also.  The Bills will get a very big bill (no pun intended) of millions after the third day of the NFL season IF he is still on their roster.  They will do something else with him.  Poor guy probably will end up with the Browns.  Broncos fans shouldn’t be depressed if they call him, but should be very, very sad if that is what they end up with.

Teddy Bridgewater was set to go on the market too, but there is this asterisk occurring where there might be a technicality that the Vikings keep him.  Throw in Bradford’s injury history, and Case Keenum’s pedestrian, back to earth NFC Championship Game, and I think the Vikings keep Teddy.  Remember, WE don’t see his practices.  They do, and probably just shrugged their shoulders and said “Teddy, we can’t ruin a GOOD thing right now with Case.”

Sam Bradford is 30 and still in his “prime.”  But, he has Tracy McGrady injury syndrome, so will be that guy with a gun arm who you never know if he will ever play a full season of football.  He will get a job.  And be overpaid.  And don’t worry about him during the holiday season, Sprewell, as he made $18 million last year and probably hasn’t spent all of his $11 million singing bonus either yet.  But, his knee won’t hold up and everyone and their mother knows it.  Someone will still take a flyer for a $10 million paycheck.  HUGE upside for sure despite the injury stats.  Tracy McGrady syndrome.

Case Keenum threw 22 TD’s and 7 INT’s in 2017.  His rating was 95 plus.  His career average was around 78.  He is 30.  He played with the toughest defense this whole year.  Look for someone to sign him, and him then go back closer to the sub 80 number I think.  His last four quarters of football sadly probably cost him about $5 million, as he probably is more of a $15 mil as opposed to a $20 mil per year guy now.

Speaking of raising your career stats, Josh McCown is 39 and suddenly had a 95 rating.  I would stay away, but he would once again be a great pickup as a backup QB.  Don’t sniff around, Broncos, Jets, and Giants.

Brock Osweiler is like a poker player who continues to win by staying in with small pairs and straight draws…but keeps PULLING the cards.  What does HE care?  I am sure his non-football watching financial advisor told him to stash away most of the Houston Texans money.

Please tell me that Jeff George is Jay Cutler’s childhood hero.  PLEASE.  He is literally following the same career path.  Guy with a gun and attitude problems thriving in a QB depleted market.

Geno Smith has career stats of 36 and 29,and is sub age 30.  All good, right?  Wait.  Those numbers are inverted.  29 TD’s and 36 INT’s.  Dude has somehow kept up his draft status years ago without really showing us more than a play or two a game where we say WOW.  He is like the really, really unsuccessful, smaller, lighter, Cam Newton.

Brees will stay, as he already pretty much showed his hand right after his last loss.  But seriously WHY would you ever leave New Orleans?  You can retire as the guy who brought a tired, beat up extraordinary city post hurricane.  You were a legend the moment that Sean Payton kicked that onside kick after halftime.  Let it ride, Drew.  They can’t franchise you, so just take a home town discount and call it a day.  The Saints will get a SERIOUS $12 million cap hit if they let his contract void, so expect action on this very soon.

Eli Manning has a no-trade clause, so he will get to PICK where he goes.  He is the Brady fall man/ weakness, so he is a legend already.  So, why not go to a LOADED team with ONLY a QB problem.  He will get or has been getting texts from the Jags and Broncos for sure.  IF he leaves.  By the way, releasing Eli saves the Giants almost $10 million against the cap.

Mission is a success.  Jimmy Garoppolo pretty much had the dream half season audition to not become the next Matt Cassel.  He passed with flying colors.  He will be in the 20-30 mil range and I can’t see the 49ers letting anyone else get a hold of him while they secretly wish the NFL season was 18 games this year.  He was on fire at the perfect time.

I think Blake Bortles should go to the Jets just so they can have Mark Sanchez déjà vu.

Sanchez, Henne, and Wonderlic pro Fitzpatrick are out there TOO!!!!!!  QB’s plenty out there, right?  Yes.  You can find a QB in this class for sure if you need one (which is most teams).  But, all come with some side story that makes any pickup FUN.  Well, fun for us, the viewer.  Plenty out there, but kind of frustrating when Mr. Brady keeps proving to us that you can have a team that is not the best roster spot one to the end, and as long as you have an elite QB, you are in the mix.  Not many elite QB’s out there right now.  Just a lot of QB’s who either need some counseling, or have their teams get the counseling.

Side Note 1:  Don’t worry  about me putting a Roam-B-52’s spin on this.  I HATE the B-52’s.  The only thing worse then the song roam are the B-52’s songs Loveshack and Shiny Happy People.

Side Note 2:  Yes, I am one of those folks (one from Family Guy) who thinks the best lasagna I ever had was IN Rome, the best Cheesesteak was ON South Street in Philly, and there are no better crab cakes than when in MD.

Shiny Happy People.  Watch the Dennis Leary take on this one from No Cure for Cancer.

Dallas, Texas:

It’s not exactly Texas, but just over the border.  It is Oklahoma, just across the border.  But, close enough that I want to discuss Trae Young and what he is providing college basketball this year.  Plus, the album Cabo Wabo is on is OU812, so that sort of falls into place for me.

Unless you are an eternal optimist, you knew that conference play would bring some losses for OU basketball.  And, conference play would also provide a magnified lense of any immaturities that Trae Young had.  Both happened.  But, the magic is still magic in its own right.  He has a limited supporting cast, he is a freshman, and he IS going to make some bad plays and force some shots.  But, his stats still support that he is the closest thing to Steph Curry at Davidson we have seen since.  Look at his numbers, people, and let’s take a closer look.

EDITOR’S NOTE:  These stats were compiled BEFORE the Texas game, thus before he posted a lowly 19 and 14, 7-22 performance.

• 6: He is playing a LOT of minutes, and freshman, sophomores, juniors, and seniors would ALL make some less than stellar decisions after 30 minutes or so.
• 8: Considering he is one man show pretty much, I don’t think that 20 shots a game is too alarming, especially when you are at a 45% clip from the ranges he sometimes shoots from.
• .409: Anything above 40% is not going to be questioned, people.  Actually, anything above 35% usually isn’t questioned TOO much.
• .833: He is not one of those guys who has the Achilles Heel of missing free throws.  He is reliable.
• 3: Getting rebounds while doing what he does for a PG is ridiculous.  Guy hits the glass and isn’t afraid to get in the mix with those bigger guys.
• 5: Yeah, someone is going to question his shots when he gets dimes at a 10 clip with the guys he is playing with?
• 9: This will be above 2 by the end of the year as he gets court smarter.  This shows he isn’t afraid of D either.
• 3: Yes, this is the less than stellar stat.  But, I will take a few bad turnovers from a kid who has the rest of this stat line.  And, this number will go down also.
• 3: Self-explanatory.

And the team in general?  I would say I am MOST impressed that they are undefeated at home AND that they recovered from an early two game losing streak without falling apart.

EDITOR’S NOTE:  Once again, BEFORE the Texas loss last night.  And since this college hoops season has been crazy in general anyway, and since Duke, Kentucky, Arizona, and Kansas ALSO lost yesterday, the away loss to Texas is not the end of the world.

Cabo San Lucas:

The end game to my year of traveling per Sammy’s book.  I have to burn a little PTO to at least get back SOME of the massive time I have earned, we are off Presidents Day from work, I don’t have kids, so might as well head to a beach (which looks like an even better solution since it is snowing out today (one day after being like 55).  Denver can’t, all the time, drive 55 either.

I HAVE SAVED YOU INTERNET TIME, SO JUST CLICK AWAY (all safe links people):

WORKOUT SONG UPDATE:

Stumbled on THIS gem this week, and it is presently my favorite workout song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3E6AKDbI2Y

SUMMARY:

So, my end thesis of this cast?  No, Simon, I won’t listen to you.  I will NOT what do what YOU say per the game.  I will do what SAMMY says.  I will go to Rome, Dallas, and Cabo.

EDITOR’S NOTE:

Possibility I might do a Bill Simmons like, old school, Super Bowl journal.  Should be fun if I decide to invest.  Look for that Monday or Tuesday IF I do it (takes a lot of time investment and no getting up at any point to see all of the commercials too).

SUPER BOWL:

I wrote a whole preview last week, people.  Be a regular reader.  27-23 Pats.  Eagles, you need to get pressure on Brady WITHOUT needing to blitz, you need to mix up your typical zone coverage, you need Nick Foles to utilize whatever magic is left over from the genie from the Minnesota game, you need to remember to keep your foot on the gas against all typical thoughts IF you get ahead, and you need, transparently speaking, a couple of bounces or turnovers to go your way.  That’s it.  Easy.

This Super Bowl would have been so much better had we had an underdog HOME team in the Super Bowl, kind of like when Michigan State was in the Final Four in Detroit.  It would have been a better game.  But, “not too shabby (Minnesota saying)” that at least it isn’t the Packers, because THAT would suck.

If Gronk wasn’t cleared, I might give them a better shot.  And, it doesn’t help to play the best QB and coach of our era….errrrr (props, Jim Rome-ism)….ever.

That’s it for today.  Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed.  Will I blog again?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Peace.

And no, Sammy Hagar will be jamming out on the Rock Legends Cruise and not be in Cabo, but I did tweet him in case he has a change of plans.  And, yes, there might be parts of me STILL thinking 5150 is the greatest album ever.  Maybe.