Listen.  Here is the deal.  I thought I would have endless energy to talk to you, but I have fought off jetlag, done some work, and just want to relax.  I have a good feeling that I won’t run out of things to say in the future.

But…

In the meantime…

I should leave you something…

So, I am leaving a one sentence per hook hitlist of items I wrote down AFTER my trip.  One, because you need recent stuff to read, not three week old stuff.  Two, because, I didn’t write down anything on the Cruise.  I was unplugged.  I knew who was winning every series every day or two, but I checked OUT.  It felt good.  At least until I got into Miami airport and I realized that I was now plugged IN again.  Anyway, I won’t insult your intelligence by speaking about things I didn’t watch and maybe you did.  So, I am NOW plugged in, and will make my random thoughts as of Friday morning.

Let’s burn and turn.

(old school version since I have no energy to write a methodical in depth article)

(following the post, there will be a quick hitlist of everything I did in three weeks-read if you want)

(and..if you care about the trip post, I will post Pics this week-still organizing.  I think I took about 1250 pics, kept 750 on file, documented 350 as really good, and kept 100 on my phone that are ridiculous.)

(once again, I know that Soundgarden never did the Unplugged thing)

(I just know that me going unplugged for that amount of time is UNREAL)

• Once again, ONE sentence and one only for each thought-I don’t feel like talking today.
• Denver, don’t forget the American Ninja Warrior activities are this week on Wednesday and Thursday, and you will see me there as they are SOOOO cool.
• I saw the setup today already.
• I don’t know what I would have done on my trip or what I was thinking before I figured out I could save everything on Google Drive.
• The Kawhi is sad, but they wouldn’t have won the series with him…just would have been a 6 or 7 game series as opposed to 4 or 5.
• I get home and decide to watch an NHL game because, unlike the NBA the conference finals are close, and I get a 5-0 blowout…in the 2nd period.
• I will be rooting for the Cavs this year in the Finals since I HATE “built” superteams…the moment Durant signed I rooted for everyone else but the Warriors.
• Yes, I know LeBron previously built a superteam in Miami, but that is now done…
• My subscriber alerts are still turned off, and that is because I have bigger plans for this thing and will be writing for Rotoden starting June 18th (NBA site).
• June 18th, people.
• Is it bad that although I “like” Gordon Hayward and Paul George, I am kind of glad they aren’t getting that RIDICULOUS contract spike/ AKA the Durant rule.
• Good players, but come on…
• I actually thought the more interesting story was Bamba going to UT instead of UK but I am known…as a college bball junkie.
• Don’t worry, Rotoden, I know NBA too…just think college bball is more pure.
• I think it is sad that most Americans couldn’t get within 10% of guessing the amount of black players in the MLB…less than 10% although most think it is more.
• Pillar is an idiot, but don’t know enough about the situation to comment further.
• I will warn you that IF you read my trip list, don’t be depressed about how much shit I did.
• Between Athens, Capri, Rome, and Israel, I would knock out about 18 things on your bucket list easily.
• Capri was the best after Rome…
• So, I missed some stuff, but you are telling me the Chargers not only are playing in a tinier stadium until they get promoted, but now have to do it for another YEAR?????
• Wow.
• Sounds like Bautista should really start picking and choosing when he drops the bat.
• Sounds like the pitcher who pays him back should not give up a huge inning and lose the game to add insult to injury.
• (yes, I know baseball very well also, people)
• Another late May date, and another month of Rockies optimism when they are in first place of something.
• (who am I talking about?  I like the Phillies-ugghhh)
• The National League has so many bad teams…
• Yes, I am getting to Chris Cornell.
• Thomas and Fultz are friends, and I get the U-Dub connection, but can we at least wait until he is drafted, even if you are the last drafted player of your class?
• Thomas is probably thinking about all the moves Danny could have made with 1000 draft picks in the last 4 years but didn’t.
• You can have your favorite story of the week, but mine is a Broncos story, as Von Miller showing up at the Broncos service employee event was SOOOO cool.
• No Bronco had ever done that, including some guy named John Elway.
• Sorry, Mom.
• I get back from a European vacation and am as fuzzy about a Mayweather-McGregor fight as I was when I left.
• Mayweather would DESTROY him.
• Gracefully, of course, and it might go the distance, but the greatest boxer of all time besides Ali would beat the greatest UFC boxer of all time…easily.
• Please stop hitting the ball, Tebow.
• I am so tired of you…for like 15 years.
• I laid $32 random bets on the Preakness, and after winning nothing and not even looking at Cloud Computing even though I sell software, I am pretty sure I AM the worst horse racing bettor of ALL time.
• I don’t comment on politics in this blog and won’t start now, so I won’t mention that although I hate the Clintons and have Repub cadence, I voted for her against my will…because I KNEW this would happen.
• Happy now, you people who thought the casino owner might be the next coming of a Repub actor from the 80’s?
• You don’t know how you will react to a nude beach until it actually happens and nothing you people who haven’t seen one will convince me otherwise.
• I had a lot of movie time.
• Office Party was really good from 15 min to 75 minutes, and then involved car crashes, gun fights, and got kind of ridiculous.
• Allied was the slowest starting movie like ever, got good suddenly in like 5 minutes, and then you could tell the producer had so many options of how to end it, they got confused.
• Live By Night could have either been shorter, better, or just shorter.
• Rogue One was just as good or maybe better the second go around, and it doesn’t talk about where Luke is so that is a plus.
• It of course saddens me that Chris Cornell died, but it hits me a couple other ways.  One, I was initially mad that Nirvana and Soundgarden killed my glam rock bands but then was relieved that movement was over. Two, Cornell’s voice is in the top 5 all time as far as niche created and range.  Three, he was a master at creating super groups.  Four, Hunger Strike now will irritate my wife when I get hungry in the morning more than ever before. Five, He was supposed to play the venue ONE block from my house after that gig and I would have gone. Six, he played a cameo in Singles, the most underrated movie of all time.
• I don’t know how others handle jetlag, but I had a burger, fries with ranch, and some hot sauce and felt fine with some sleep on the side.  I get Europeans now, but I will take my American food…aside from the Italian pizza and Greek gyros.
• I would like to be a fly on the wall when Ryan F. gives Jameis W. advice…will be funny.
• So, Peyton Manning sold Buicks and actually drove them (I have a witness) and Tom Brady will sell a car company that literally sells like 4000 vehicles a year because they are too expensive?
• Sounds about right…#astonmartin
• You can think whatever you want about my hockey knowledge, losing Ryan Johansen kills the Predators in my opinion.
• I will still root for them or the Pens.
• Just don’t think the Preds make that extra Cup step without him-sorry.
• Weird that I just went to Jerusalem and I have heard about people going there in church or on TV three times in the last three hours.
• I don’t watch NBA blowouts, but I watched the entire Cavs-Celtics game the other night…just because I thought Guiness might be brought in for record tracking.
• 72 points at halftime…wow.
• I think we need a throw in rule for every sport in the playoffs…might make the next game more interesting to save the players’ gas.
• On my list, so I have to say it, fighting naked is my biggest fear aside from getting stung to death by monster hornets, and I saw a fight on a nude beach (Barcelona), so I saw the closest thing TO that.
• I only saw the ending, but BK caught my eye when I got back to the USA when they said the words “mac and cheese.”
• Not much mac and cheese across the pond, folks.
• Just like with Shaq back in the day, the NBA MVP eliminates LeBron…but we all know he should win it pretty much every, SINGLE year.
• The award is best player THAT year, and not BEST player.
• Wait, so you haven’t spent hours of your time this weekend reading mock drafts for the NBA since the order is set?
• We are different people evidently.
• Her call, not mine, but my wife deleted all of The Voice episodes up to this point, and we already know the players.
• We ARE going to sit out on Silicon Valley and catch up in the normal fashion, so I would appreciate Anthony shutting the hell up on my work floor tomorrow as I am two behind.
• I am sad that the Shark Tank season is now over.
• By the way, I LOVED the credit card in the belt buckle idea, but it was presented wrong…call me guys.
• I also loved Rocket Book, but presented wrong again.
• Jackson, my cat, seems sad, and that might be because he missed me or it more probably is because the munchkin cat is now twice his size and could be the starter over Jack Lambert in 1978 for the Steelers.
• Lindsey is going to Cabo for a bachelorette party in two weeks, and since none of my co-workers asked or offered (meaning Cerk), maybe SHE will bring me home some kind of T-Shirt or autograph from Sammy’s place in Cabo.
• Cabo Wabo is #5 on my VH list, meaning it it is pretty awesome.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZL8yWpUPMCY
• Hey, Sammy, I have also been to Rome and Dallas now.
• Yes, when it comes down to it, I am Van Hagar and not Van Halen.
• I didn’t get any T-Shirts at any of the 7 countries I visited, but A) nothing was as cool as the Soggy Dollar two years ago from the British VI and B) Steve doesn’t allow shopping time for the most part as he walks too fast.
• Stop clogging up the ESPN wire, Mr. Kanter.
• I don’t care what happened to you-just want to concentrate on the Conference Finals and NBA Finals.
• Agassi will coach Djokovic?  How is his Demi-God Graf-Agassi kid doing at tennis?
• That’s it for a blog.  Below is my off the cuff cruise journal.  Talk to you in a few days once I catch up from work.  Onward and upward.  I am with the force, and the force is with me.  Everything is a clown question.  Peace.

OCEANIA

Things I did:

TRAVEL

• DIA
• Iceland (delay, warm clothes store, GLACIER WATER WAS INCREDIBLE)

PARIS

• Hotel Brighton (larger than other Euro hotels)
• Ate dinner at La Jocabine (cool place in kind of an alley and I drank wine and didn’t hate it)
• Had a drink at Frog and Princess (not an adjective animal bar, but close enough)
• Boat cruise (for transportation around city)
• Paris is a LOT bigger than I expected
• The Louvre at night (wait until you see the pics)
• Eiffel Tower w/o champagne (wait until you see the pics)
• Luxenbourg Gardens
• Lunch at La Relais De Entrecote (unlimited steak and fries with some incredible dipping sauce)
• Notre Dame (as good as expected)
• Toilet machine on street that cleaned itself (including floor) in between EVERY person and took 30 minutes with 5 people in line
• Champs (street with every single big brand competitor I have ever heard of)
• Arc (at end of Champs)
• Once again, my pics would blow your mind on the above
• Moulin Rouge show (basically all boobs with dancing and some spinning)

TRAVEL

• Eurostar train (Jason Bourne train)
• Lindsey didn’t even give me the window, but I was too tired to object since I make her take the middle seat on planes

LONDON

• Changing of the Guard
• Buckingham Palace
• James Park
• Westminster Abbey
• Big Ben/ Parliament (grouped together because they are together and also National Lampoons of course)
• River cruise/ Thames (just for show-saw that cool bridge with walkway)
• London Eye (did not suck)
• Trafalgar Square (demonstrations galore)
• Hotel Z (wine and cheese saved us HH money)
• The Balcon (actually a French restaurant ironically)
• Random pub on way home
• Caffe Concerto next morning (she had English breakfast-I don’t like beans)
• I had Benedict because maybe he was English…

ATHENS

• Avery had someone jack her suitcase (could be a tragedy in all respects)
• Damn you, Carol Walters….
• Got suitcase back (TG)
• Realizing you don’t understand language at all on signs
• First big sign I see is for olive oil…so cool.
• Dinner at Greek place with guy named Alexander (guy asked about bball and I was his guy-The Freak)-also amazing I made it through meal dodging my 8 year old hate menu)
• They call it baby goat as opposed to “veal.”
• Breakfast was at Everest, which apparently is a Greek fancy McDonald’s (which ironically was right next door)
• Acropolis (did not suck)
• Agora (open area with lots of rocks and columns)
• Had lunch at local place Placa District rooftop
• Had the greatest Gyro I have ever had at Kasta for snack (and because we had to have a Gyro in Greece).
• Seriously, I don’t know if I can ever eat one again in the states.
• Went to top of mountain and watched sunrise at Summit (amazing by the way)
• Ku Zi Na for dinner
• 2 bars. One was Clumsies (had an Old Friend Bobby) and went to rooftop bar with amazing view of Acropolis where we were just at.
• These places did not suck also.
• Still adjusting to tipping lower as an ex-bartender (they are very happy with 8-9%)
• My bad tip was 20% before trip…
• Had 2^nd greatest Gyro in my entire life the next day that might have surpassed yesterday’s
• I will say they were different, and not better or worse…

TRAVEL

• Cruise ship entrance (here we GO)

OCEANIA

• Happy hour-met Anna for first time, our new best friend
• Tuscana for dinner, which because it was Italian food, I was safe and happy
• Late night happy hour, and met Greg, our other new best friend
• He is Jamaican, so lots of uh-oh’s, and yah, man’s…
• Noticed two people jamming out to Led Zeppelin, so introduced myself, and they are now our new best friends (and were for entire cruise)
• Mark and Sonja.

PATMOS

• Large hill to climb but we took bus up
• John’s Cave was objective
• Went to church/ monastery first-tiny actually but beautiful
• Cave was actually a building but we could see where the cave used to be
• Rocky terrain
• My Airwalk flats I just bought are doing fine
• Had drink on way to ship
• Small place-went to pool on ship after
• Went to Patmos again solo to hang out in square
• HH1 with Anna from Ukraine (starting to really like us)
• Dinner at buffet
• HH2 with Greg (starting to really like us)

RANDOM

• Should I be a cruise director?

RANDOM NOTES I DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE (long trip)

• “Mirror-watch”
• “Drew ashes drink the AD”
• “Visions Electronics Rick CA”

RHODES

• Castle-there is an old town and new town
• Castle was great
• Lindsey and Avery went to beach-called Fileraki (so of course I went there later)
• Captain’s address that night-free drinks (no HH1 since this occurred)
• HH2 with Greg
• Mark and Sonja from Luxembourg were of course there

CYPRUS

• Castle/ sculptures
• Beach-boring and rocky, but saw that IF we took a ride in car, they have MAD beaches on other coast.
• We did this port wrong, so don’t judge the place on lack of notes
• HH1 with Anna
• Dinner
• HH2 with Greg

(I know I was notating meals before, but it got nonstop, so I admit I forgot some notation)

ISRAEL

• (this is where it gets real)
• Church on top of hill in Nazareth
• (I write that in one line, but it was incredible and would be one trip for people by ITSELF)
• Guide was Aussie (was AWESOME)
• Her name was Aussie, not nationality.
• B Attitudes-pic at side of road in front of valley (my pic is incredible)
• Went to Copernha??? Peter’s crib. Awesome, and my pics are dirty.
• Lunch-Israel’s Chipotle (I had a beef pita and even ate an unknown sauce)
• Sea of Galilee (tried to walk on water and did not succeed)
• Jordan River (went by machine guns on border) and watched people go in water and pray…like hundreds of people…
• Started driving in pure desert
• Swam in Dead Sea (literally)
• Don’t touch anything on your face when in Dead Sea…
• Had drink at bar at lowest bar to sea level in world…
• Guide hits car-car is fine with driving away (convenient because we were in rush to make Western Wall tour)
• Night view of Western Wall with full underground tour
• Dinner at Italian place in middle of square of 5 restaurants (live band)
• DAY 2
• IDF Base meet and greet
• Saw Temple Mount…from where no tourist has ever seen it from and for something people wait hours in line to see…IDF guard area (not sure how that happened)
• Garden Tomb (possible burial place #1)
• Church of Holy Sepulcre (possible burial place #2)
• Lunch at Morician Restaurant (we found out we should SHARE plates in foreign countries as we eat too much in America)
• Got a view of Mount of Olives
• Zion Gate
• Last Supper Room (really)
• Traffic (busiest day ever in Jerusalem)
• Seriously, we hit the hottest and busiest day ever in Jurusalem…
• (Hottest day also by chance)
• Gesthermayne Gardens
• Gesthermayne Church
• Scopus
• ABC roads-A is one religion, C is another religion, and B is where both are OK. Drove by the scary parts.  Just glad we made it out of there.
• Drove through Haifa-would have been jealous of hill with stairway, cool city streets, and beaches, but then just remembered what we crammed in a day and a half and was happy again
• Saw enough of Haifa to know I will be back to enjoy beach and mountain.
• Learned enough in Israel to A) make it life changing and B) know that they get a bad wrap
• Back to ship

SEA DAY

• Researched Crete (my city)
• Suddenly got hooked on trivia time with the Dixons
• Comedy show (English humor so right up my alley)
• Dry!
• Realized Lindsey gets seasick
• (and it just got worse on the seasick note)
• HH1
• Dinner
• HH2

CRETE

• Finally started using local person at front door for help at a port
• Knossos Palace (self tour at oldest known Euro settlers sight)
• Took pics of the Loggia
• Found Main Square
• Found fountains (maintenance day amazingly so no water flowing)
• Found St. Mark Church (of course I would)
• Found Dirty Alley (Steve did not allow time for me to buy beads)
• All beads in Europe seem to cater to girls and not guys
• Went to a beach since it was my org day (best beach with no people-very turquoise, and cold)
• Successfully made it back, although we waited a long time going to and from beach at shady bus stations.

OCEANIA

• Started realizing the age demographic a lot more
• Decided “If Only” was a good band name
• Polo Grill dinner (forgot to log the last couple of dinners but they were the buffet)
• Finally looked at the schedule for a “sea day” 930 putt putt, 11am table tennis, 130 hold’em, 245 bean bags, 4pm blackjack, 415 trivia, 845 trivia
• 930 putt putt-skipped
• 11am table tennis-I played the eventual winner with high wind and didn’t care (he deserved to win)
• 130-Hold’em-got fourth (everyone else’s SECOND day and got to know players, rules, buy ins, and got fourth out of 13 (out of money))
• If you care, I got 4^th losing on an A-7 vs. an A-8
• 245-bean bag-missed it because I am good at poker and it kept me
• 4pm blackjack-stupid tourney and would rather play real blackjack
• 415-lost again at trivia, and I helped on limited questions
• HH1
• Polo Grill again and again delicious
• Played piano at Martinis and for some reason A) can still only remember piano man B) but nailed it in Victor Borge style with people around me and C) spaced on my parents’ wedding song Moon River
• Plan on playing Roland a LOT more at home immediately when I get home
• 845 trivia-won
• HH2

SORRENTO/ CAPRI

• Pulling in already made it the best port
• Ferry to Capri was astounding
• The cliffs at both places-wow
• Capri is NOT pronounced like the jean brand-first syllable is more heavy locally
• And you can roll the “r” if you are fancy
• Just a water tour on a local boat where we drive by the cliffs and get to jump in the water-it sucked
• Sarcastic I very much am…
• Faniculer up the hill-I actually thought we were just going to top and coming down
• Lunch at top of cliff might be best meal ever (gnocchi, bread and olive oil, ravioli, fried cheese, prosciutto, etc.)
• Steve and Linds get Hangry together
• I have made up the term now “Hapgry”
• The square-very cool
• Missed boat at pier #13, and then Steve found hidden beach that was AMAZING
• Steve even posed for pics
• (for some reason, we started talking about a movie night involving Anchorman, Knight’s Tale, and Bruce Almighty)
• Grand DR dinner at ship and trying to make trivia each time now
• We start noticing that Lindsey loses her cashless Nautica ID card a LOT
• This was the best port ever…until tomorrow I assume (Latin guy and Rome HAS to be the best)

(first meeting with Gary from Australia and the rest of the cruise is history with him)

ROME

• I ride in the front seat of the hour ride since my blood will rise as we get close to Rome
• Walked through the Colosseum (short explanation but 40 pics to support)
• Forum (awesome)
• Wedding Cake Building (I have bottom and top pics)
• And TOP of Wedding Cake Building
• (less notes here because I was overloaded with emotion)
• The Circle (no traffic rules)
• Lunch at Saltimbocca (lasagna, bruschetta)-great, but not better than yesterday
• FIGURED OUT RIGHT SHOULDER TATTOO IDEA-ship’s helm with 9-10 separations with me writing one single letter for each decade of separation of my 100 year life. For example, 3 to 4 would be “L” for Lindsey.
• Seriously, THIS is the best result of this trip.
• It is kind of like having a cheesesteak on South Street as far as food.
• (started noticing Proscuitto on every street corner)
• Navona Piazza
• Fiumi Fountain
• Learned to always have Euro’s on you
• Randomly wrote down you should ALWAYS pack your snorkel gear for surprise beaches
• Trevi Fountain-amazing
• Iced by Drew at Trevi Fountain-kind of a cool place to been iced
• Love that soccer is on TV EVERYWHERE
• It is Roma, not Rome, rest of world.
• I feel like watching Gladiator suddenly.
• It is getting old paying for bathrooms.
• Always look for the word “Gelataria” and know it is better than ice cream.
• My pics are ridiculous.
• Mother’s Day Roma call-my mom sounded the happiest she has sounded in last 10 years with me-I treated her less than par for many years so that made me very happy
• HH1 missed due to time on ship
• Tuscana dinner (whole day of Italian)
• Renault is still in business?
• Actually, there are models of every single vehicle company that I have never seen commercials for

SEA DAY

• Usual stuff in morning
• Hold’em Take II (took 2^nd, and was one card from being 1^st-THAT is more like it)
• I am very good at poker.
• Should I be a cruise director?
• HH1
• HH2
• Gary, Mark, Sonja again

BARCELONA

• Off ship finally
• Already miss Australian Gary
• The walk (forgot to mention that my suitcase broke the first day of travel and instead of overpaying for a new one, I am waiting to get back to Denver to get a deal and I am carrying around a large suitcase full of 50 lbs with a single strap that cuts into my hand)
• La Ramblis is like 16^th Street Mall on crack (although uphill with a suitcase strap).
• I had no idea how large AGAIN a European city was.
• Found a sandwich for $3 Euro’s. It was an AMAZING sandwich.
• Tour of Opera House set up by Steve.
• Tapas restaurants galore…
• (now movie conversation is Anchorman, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and Gladiator)
• Ate at Los Caracoles in basement, and of the 100’s of people on wall, I only noticed Bon Jovi had been there
• Had to leave early since Linds is still sea sick even on land…
• Can I be a cruise director even if my wife gets seasick?
• Watched a movie in hotel room (only channel in English) about a person who is attacked by a monster, wakes up, can only speak in song, and then the rest of the movie is in song once her boyfriend buys in and sings to her…
• Monster still exists.
• Girl lives though.
• The Market in Barcelona is AMAZING for breakfast or lunch. I have amazing pics upcoming on this…
• Wild Rover (someone lost cell phone)
• Segrada Familia will be done in 2023 and was MIND blowing…
• Segrada Familia TOWER (did not suck)
• 2023 it will be done
• The Barcelona beach-nakedness galore, both good, bad, and ugly…
• The W-no flip flops, but should have said Lindsey could go up without me…
• (after Dead Sea, my Airwalk new shoes shrunk, and therefore my 14’s did not fit into it, and I had to wear flip flops rest of trip)
• The Final night
• The Square that turn into clubs (Linds was out and I was tired, so never got to experience this)
• Flight back-10 hours
• SugarCain-Miami restaurant (we were all Zombies by then, Steve was excited, place was expensive, it was ok, and I actually, for the first time in history, turned DOWN pizza due to exhaustion that night).
• THAT will never happen again, I will say.
• 430AM wake up.
• Denver-4 hours flight feels short
• I saved over 700 pics on Google Drive, and you will be AMAZED by what I have. Peace.

Oh, rest in peace, Chris.  Your voice broke barriers, I loved your music, and with you and Scott W. being gone, we have lost two of the best voices of the 90’s without a doubt.