Tough road trip to Winterpeg was colder than 3 periods in hell - that time when it froze over

Not kidding. Was dreading this game. That was before the IR Faeries plucked the young and talented from us with bone-cracking cackles from their secret lair. Man..if we ever find out where that secret lair lies, they’ll gonna pay.

We’ll send in the Wolverine, the living Wolverine - from X-Men 44 - Days of Injury Faeries Screaming - not the Wolverine they kill off for cheap audience emotional manipulation and lower cost actors.

Does it sound like I’m evading the inevitable losing recap? Good. Your turn. How about those Jets? Oh...let’s not talk about how well their rebuild is going - especially since they jumped the lotto cue and took our Laine - or how they drugged JB and grabbed Ehlers (who has 14 goals so far this season). Let’s not talk about that.

Besides... we’ve got our own young guns - the ones the IR Faeries aren’t holding hostage. Sadly none are in Utica, just a phone call away. They’re over in Europe lighting up their non-NHL leagues. We need to be patient. Dammit!

Let’s think about the future and pretend it’s July again.

Could have used those 3 goals tonight. And more.

1st Period

Come out strong on the road. Worked in Calgary, can work in a rink even more hostile to foreign far Westerners, right?

It’s possible. When Nilsson is in net. When the Marky de Softie is playing, having accomplished his career bucket list SO in a scant 129 games, not so much.

It’s the first Jets shot of the game from a great and icy distance. It trickles through Marky - a shot he thought he had, but his teflon-coated jersey said nope. Is the whole jersey teflon-coated or just at the sides and arms? Some say goalie gear is too big. I say it’s too slippery.

No matter - being down 1-0 in the 1st minute of the 1st is nothing we haven’t seen before. The NM gamethread hadn’t even settled into their armour-plated drinking chairs. Anyhow, we knew this was going to be a tough game. Back in October.

Tonight tho, we knew it was easier to have an Injury Faery hand deliver the points on a silver gold platinum platter to Mr. Maurice’s personal point counter than to play more than one period without two of our top three point go-getter-guys.

At least we still have one left - probably the Boest one too. And so, with a sweet backdrop of Sedinery, our Brockster made a big noise from a quiet place. Sweeet 16!!!

There’s only 5 players in the entire NHL with more goals than Brock right now. We haven’t had a sniper like him in a decade. Or more. And thanks to the IRF we barely have a team to support him.

Altho...that was Hank’s 799th assist. Or 7999th. Pretty sure it’s close to eight thousand. Hank also led the Nucks with shots at 5. When our best passer is our best shooter you know something is not quite right with the roster.

But still, tied half way through the first. That’s not so bad. But this is.

So Travis wants Brock to play better defence? This is what better better defence looks like? You can’t imagine the gasps across the entire gamethread. The stifling, suffocating feeling of not breathing for a full ten seconds - then screaming expletives in the ancient Injury Faery tongue as Brock limped off the ice. And some humanoid expletives for Wheeler taking a shot right at Brock. Jealous much, Blake?

Twitter was shutdown for a bit to clear all the bandwidth hogging animated shock & horror gifs posted every microsecond by twitchy NucksNation Twitteratti.

The Nucks managed to outshoot the Jets 7-3 in the first. That’s pretty good. But so was their goalie - who we were reliably informed pre-game that was in a slump with sieves on. We need to get better, more reliable informers.

2nd Period

We played well for one period. What more do you freaking want? When we were on the wild winning 3 game streak, the Nucks only needed to play one period and a bit to secure the wild wins.

The good news was that Brock was back on the ice. Not only is he a great and talented guy, he’s got tough knees. And high pain tolerance. I’m still wincing in sympathy pain.

The bad news is...Brock’s highlight reel goal is the sole highlight of the Nucks game. The only little bit of frontier justice was when Eriksson accidently pasted a zebra - Loui did try to get out of the way. Pretty much.

The other bad news. The Jets score 2 more goals. On the power play. 4th PP in the league. Bunch of showoffs. Who the Ehlers cares who scored them? Perreault? Nucks down 3-1. Moving on.

3rd Period

It’s another period. In Winterpeg. Be still my non-beating comeback heart. What’s left to do in this recap?

1. The players who needed to step up sidestepped instead - Check.
2. The game was over in the 2nd - Check.
3. The Sedins are tired and slow - can’t backcheck - get scored on - Check.
4. Get all the softies out of your goalie in one game - Check.

Minute to play - play like it’s the first minute - but worse.

At least Marky is taking the heat:

“I don’t know how, but it was a poor decision by me and I wasn’t good today and I take full responsibility...That wasn’t good. You’ve got to own it and it’s a new day tomorrow.”

Yes it is. It’s the day after that is more worrisome. But, that’s for another day. Marky ended the night with a .782 SV% with 19 saves on 24 shots. That’s not so bad. But it looks horrible on his bucket-listed resume. Will Nilsson get a streak of starts now?

While the Nucks outshot the Jets 26-24, the Jets had more quality shots. And sadly, many more goals. 4 more. Not quality goals tho. Only our Brock gets those.

Final: Jets 5 Nucks 1 Awesome Goal! = WE WIN! (Fake Wins are better)

Watch this summary with your fake scorecard covering the screen.

Green is still holding up well in the pressers - 1st star of the post game scrums.

Because Hank was the designated shooter for the game - Vanek is the stoic Swede in the locker room.

This game doesn’t matter. That much. We had low expectations going into this season and we got a little taste of neverland express magic in the first six weeks. Then the Injured Reservist Force arrived to take away the fun ice from us.

We’ve already lost 100 man games to the IRF. Merry Freakin’ Xmas, NucksNation. The pony under the tree might be a Dahlin tho. That’s if the Nucks get all the picks 1 thru 10. Still too soon to be thinking June, right?

Weather the winter storm. Can only get better in late January. Only 17 games or so. Oh jeeez....more questions. Again.

• Will the coming L-streak be worse than last season’s stream of AHL roster losses?
• Will Green play the Twins into Willie’s worn-out-zone?
• Will he finally play the Goldy for Goals soundtrack? With the Nilsson Schmilsson backup band?
• Will Westy ever pick the Nucks again in the SPW thread?
• Can we win another game in 2017?

Yeah...that last one was a trick question. Sure we can. Let’s start on Wednesday at home versus the droopy Preds. They just lost to Vegas. Vegas FFFS!

We can be better. And possibly, with a little lot of puck luck, the Nucks can too.