I saw this post on Instagram and had to steal the picture because it was the exact sentiments of where I am right now.  2016 has been a season of transition in every area of my life and I have truly embodied the sentiments of this picture. When I moved to Florida I walked away from everything familiar and had no idea what I would be walking into... I just obeyed God and came.

I knew I was leaving behind my family and friends, my home, my favorite places and things, but I didn't know I would be leaving behind me.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm still me, but the me that I assumed I was got left behind.  That me was the one that was pieced together with everyone else's expectations, goals, aspirations, hopes, dreams, and ideals for and of me.  Not the ones I'd created for myself or the ones God had given me in dreams and visions.  I'd always assumed I wanted certain things and wanted them a certain way but I quickly learned that sometimes the very thing we think we want, isn't what we wanted at all.  It's what we're expected to want because of our age, sex, profession, religion, upbringing, education, etc...

I'd always thought I was whole.  I knew my heart had been broken over some things that happened in life, some losses, some relationships, and situations but I assumed I was ok.  I assumed I'd forgiven some people, but again I was wrong.  I assumed that I would come here and do great things in ministry... Assumed I'd find a really great job pretty quick, because I am educated and I do have some experience and qualifications... I assumed that the transition would be a lot easier than it has been.  I assumed I would make friends pretty quickly, maybe even go on a couple of great dates.  I assumed I was focused and on track and headed towards the things and visions God had shown me in the past... again... I WAS WRONG...

I had to walk away from everything I had assumed and allow God to truly be that lamp unto my feet and light for my path.  I have no idea where I'm going and on a large scale, no idea what I'm doing. I was focused but I moved here and fell right back into old behaviors of doing everything for everybody just because I knew how or because I was good at it.  I had to give up the silly idea that I was in control of anything in my life.  That was the hard part, giving up control.. Learning to hear God's instruction, carry it out then wait for the next one before you move has been such a learning experience.

I had to abandon the very thought that I was whole. God let me know quick, fast, and in a hurry that I wasn't and has been kneading me like dough to help me heal and get whole. He had to gather up all the little crumbs and pull them back together.  I found out I was wrong about so many things... God continues to show me myself, my true self.  Sometimes what I see is very different than what I'm used to and it's a little scary to realize that you're not who everyone thought you were or expected you to be.  It's freeing and empowering at the same time though.

At this point I'm just a lump of clay on the potter's wheel.  Many days I look at my life and I'm moving and getting things done but I still feel like, God this just can't be it.. this can't be what your idea of abundant life looks like. I know this life is short and full of trouble but I know that My God came down through generations, endured Calvary and the cross so that I could have life and have it more abundantly. That means over and above, more than is necessary, superadded  superior, extraordinary, surpassing, uncommon..  It means we're supposed to have a great life!

I'm not complaining but I know the glimpses that God has shown me of my life look nothing like what I'm currently living out.  So again, I had Assumed I would be in a certain place in life, living a certain way and it hasn't manifested yet.. keyword Yet!  Although I've had to abandon the person I'd assumed I was, I'm very much looking forward to meeting the woman I'm becoming.  God's already done some great work in 2016 so maybe 2017 will be a year of unveiling.  

If you find yourself in this place just remember that we serve the God who keeps His promises and doesn't let His word return unto him void.  He finishes the work he begins and doesn't let anything go to waste.  Endure your process and keep pushing. There's something greater coming!!