Hey guys thanks for the views on my last 2 posts I really appreciate it.

When i was in primary School i was a bit of a lose cannon, I got into trouble a lot.

It wasn't till 6th class and i was 11 when i had my first gay experience It was with a guy called Andrew(not his actual name) but we were in the school bathrooms after PE and i felt something towards him i didn't know what it Meant but i kind of liked him, so over the next few weeks i got to know him he was so friendly and i wanted to spend every minute with him, so one day when we were alone i kissed him on the cheek he didn't freak out or push me back he just looked surprised and after what felt like hours but was merely seconds he just chuckled and we walked on.

We remained as friends but nothing more came out of that experience .

It was when i went into secondary school that i found out what the word gay meant because the older boys would say "he's so gay" they were not talking about me but gossiping among themselves.

When i found out what it meant i questioned myself constantly "are you gay" i denied it several times because my aunt who was African and very religious said foul things about being gay so i thought it was bad.

I joined a football club and started making friends and eventually i had 3 really close friends we'll call them Marvin, Liam and Rick. Me and Marvin became very close really quickly and at first i thought we had a bromance, but it wasn't till we were wresting in shorts and we had no t-shirts on that i noticed his strong Body I've seen him in boxers before but this time it was different. 

When we started wrestling in my room it was small but we pushed the bed to the wall and put heavy duvets on the floor so we wouldn't get too hurt. 

We started light and then worked our way into grappling and choke holds, but when i touch his body i enjoyed it a little too much and i was distracted the whole match.

Eventually we stopped and he had won, i felt that he knew that i wasn't on top form but he didn't ask, he stayed for a an hour or so we played some video game and eat sweets then he went home and i wasn't going to see him till the next day.

I thought about that for a few days i thought it was strange that i liked my best friends body and i wanted to touch his body even more now to see if id feel the same way again. I had being trying to push the fact that i could be gay at the back of my mind for months now but after what happened with Marvin i researched "how to know if your gay" on google and spent countless hours reading different posts and watching different YouTube videos on people coming out of  the closet . I was only 14 and was really confused and who i was and my sexuality.