I have discovered in the past few years that there is a large group of men, along with a surprising number of Women, who hold to the view that women are junior members of Christianity, intended by God to be subservient creatures put here to serve and to follow and to submit to men.

This belief was totally foreign to me until just a couple of years ago. And until several months ago, I thought this was only a small group of men way out on the fringe of what can barely be called Christianity, consisting of men who knew a very limited number of Scripture verses and practiced even less.

Now I fear that the group is far larger than I imagined. But Goliath or not, I believe that these men are absolutely wrong in their understanding of Scripture, and in their attempt at subjugating half the world’s population.

I saw on Facebook earlier last month a statement by a man that women were to be in submission to men and that this was clearly taught in Scripture. He then quoted this famous passage from Paul:

This IS clearly a command to wives that they submit themselves to their husbands. But there are several things that this passage IS NOT.

First, this passage IS NOTa command for women in general to be submissive in all ways or in any way to men in general. It applies ONLY to wives and their husbands.

Second, this passage IS NOTa command for husbands to demand or in any way to force their wives to be subject to them. It is a command to women and not to men in any way.

Third, this passage is immediately preceded by a command that calls all Believers to have a Godly and loving and encouraging attitude to other Believers:

See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is. And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. [Ephesians 5:18-21, KJV]

In other words, one needs to understand the context of this passage or one will totally misunderstand what Paul is demanding here. And the context is quite revealing but is also quite clear.

Paul is calling all Believers to a lifestyle of love and submission to each other in order to better demonstrate to an unbelieving world how God wants us to live. Whatever your theology on women, this passage clearly calls the Body of Christ to live a godly life and to submit to each other in that godliness.

Ephesians 5:21 DOES NOTgive me the option to DEMAND that you submit to me. Nor does this passage give you the option to DEMAND that I submit to you. This passage implies that I will have to answer to God if I do not submit to you, and it implies that you will have to answer to God if you do not submit to me. But it very clearly DOES NOT state or imply that I will have to answer to YOU if I choose to not submit to YOU.

And in the very next verse, the very same Greek word is used. Gr-hupatasso – to subordinate, to obey.

Within the Body of Christ, Believers are to hupotasso, or submit, to each other. Within marriage, women are to hupotasso, or to submit, to their husbands. But before men get too puffed up over this command, we are to read and obey the very next command of Paul – men are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. This command is quite clear, and quite powerful. Men are to love and cherish and care for and lift up and edify or build up their wives. And it continues by declaring that husband and wife are one flesh. We are as one before God but with different responsibilities, and not as two separate people with one being superior in any way.

Further, the very next sentence is addressed to men, and this command is FAR MORE difficult to obey.

Since the “command” for wives to be subject to their husbands (see verse 22) was given to wives to subject themselves AND NOT given to husbands to force their wives into obedience, husbands cannot demand this subjection or submission in any way. No more than my right to demand that you stop getting drunk or that you submit to me. On the other hand, the “command” that is given to husbands is far more important and far more difficult. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the Church, even to the point of being willing to die for her. And sometimes dying for her is easier than living with her and loving her and nurturing her and supporting her and encouraging her and helping her in every way to become the best she can be. Living for your wife is much more difficult than dying for her.

I suggest that if your wife is not submitting to your authority, then you are probably not loving her properly. In my experience of counseling hundreds of couples and discipling hundreds of men, every time I have seen a wife not submitting to her husband, I have seen the man is not loving her like Christ loves the Church. I have never seen a woman have a problem submitting to her husband if her husband was loving her properly.

As we examine the ministry of Christ, and especially his actions toward women, we see no example of Jesus DEMANDING that the Church submit to him, or even to follow him. And we see no example of Jesus demanding anything at all from a woman except for possibly calling them to sin no more

. We see Jesus teaching and modeling respect for Believers, especially for women Believers. We see Jesus treating women in general, and especially women Believers, in a liberating manner with love. And we see Jesus TREATING men and women as equals. In some cases, Jesus followed customs of the time, but usually in the context of treating them equally. There are many examples of this in Scripture, but I want to examine three very powerful examples here.

First, in Genesis we see something that has been misunderstood by so many teachers and theologians that I must comment, because I believe misunderstanding this passage is at the root of this misunderstanding about and mistreatment of women.

God created man in his own image. And many men believe that means the male of the species was created in the image of God to be superior in one way or another to women as a result of reading this passage. But let’s read again what the passage REALLY says.

So God created man in his ownimage, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. [Genesis 1:27-28, KJV]

The act of creating man was to create a male and a female. When God created “man” in his image, it took creating a male and a female to manifest this image. The male of the species was NOT created in God’s image. It took the general traits of the male and the general traits of the female to manifest the nature of God, NOT the traits of the male alone. And the second verse in that passage told THEM, NOT HIM, to make babies together and to subdue or control or dominate or cultivate the world. Women were told to dominate the world as much as men were told that!

I submit that the “image” of God WAS NOT a male or a female. I submit that it WAS NOT a male and female as a species. I submit that it was male and female in an equal and committed and loving relationship that was the image of God. God is a Being in Fellowship, most Christians call it the Trinity, and man as male and female were created to be a being in fellowship. It is the male and female AS A BEING IN A COMMITTED LOVING RELATIONSHIP that is the image of God. Just as God is comprised in three equal beings in relationship, man was created to be two equal beings in relationship.

It is the male and the female in a committed, covenant relationship that is the image of God, and not the male or the female an an individual.

Second, in the Garden of Eden, we see where Eve was deceived by Satan and ate the forbidden fruit. Then we see that Adam CHOSE to eat the fruit given him. Maybe we can claim that Eve was the weaker one because she was deceived. But when Adam CHOSE to disobey, was he really stronger? That story shows that BOTH SEXES were weak, but that they manifested different weaknesses.

Further, I submit that Adam showed an additional weakness that is all too frequently manifest in men all through history. When God asked Adam what happened, most people claim he blamed Eve for his sin. I believe this is not true. Adam blamed God for his sin. Look at the passage again.

And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to bewith me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. [Genesis 3:12, KJV]

Adam’s second and very serious weakness was to blame others; to say “it wasn’t my fault;” to avoid responsibility for his failure. Adam implied that he would have been just fine if God had not given him a woman to lead him into sin. Adam was shifting blame to Eve, and through her, to God.

The third example out of many that I want to point us to was at Jacob’s Well in Samaria. Jesus stopped for a rest and sent his disciples into town to pick up some take-out sushi. Then Jesus sat there until a woman showed up. And he TALKED with her! By Jewish tradition at the time, single men did not speak to women without their husbands around. Jesus elevated this woman to the “rank” equal to men by speaking with her. Further, according to the teachings of the Pharisees, Samaritans were viewed as Jewish half-breeds, as unclean people, and NO Jewish person would speak to a Samaritan or have anything to do with them. But Jesus elevated this Samaritan woman to the “rank” equal to Jews. When the disciples returned from town with lunch, Jesus said “I have food you don’t know about.” The disciples were confused because they were sure that Domino’s did not deliver to out of town addresses. But Jesus didn’t explain. He spoke more with an unclean woman than he did his male disciples. In other words, Jesus treated that woman as equal to men in at least two different ways – male versus female, and Jew versus Samaritan.

There are many examples in Scripture of men and women being treated as equals. But where is the example in Scripture of women being treated as unequal to men? God didn’t do it. Jesus didn’t do it. Paul taught that there was a difference in responsibility and accountability between husband and wife, but he did not teach that men were superior. And to make himself even more clear, Paul declared the following:

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s descendants, heirs according to promise. [Galatians 3:28-29, NASB]

In the eyes of God, men and women in general are equal. And in the eyes of God, husbands and wives are equal but have different responsibilities in marriage. God frees women to have their own relationship with him, and to answer only to him when they each fail in those responsibilities.

God sees men and women as equal.

Now if we could only get men to grant them the same equality…