He was the first boy I thought I had charmed with my looks. We met online where I had an account on a dating site. My online Profile was simple, pictures were modest (being who I was — I didn’t have any sexy looking photos). Many may think that my e-mail box was empty, but somehow I got new connections, new friends.
Thinking back, my profile was exactly what a man with only one attention would check out. “Easy pick” was written all over it and my low self-esteem visible for everyone to abuse. As a teenager — “You are so beautiful, I wish I knew you more,” was the attention I needed.
We met in the Park when I was walking the dog. We had agreed to meet like that, I never told him it was the only way I could get out of the house. We walked for a while, he took an interest in my life and he hugged me when I had to go home (I planned to stay out for an hour, so my parents would never ask). After I got home, he texted “I think I’m in love”. I was in seventh heaven.
In a month, we met again and again, walking in darker parts of the park, meeting after school (telling my parents that I had extra things to do, telling lies to make them more proud — I still wonder how they trusted me? Being as strict as they were…). Never the less, I always got home in time. I “stayed in school” for just one or two more hours.
We kissed for a long time, hugged and I let his hands get all over me. He told me how crazy he was for me, his emails and text were all about how he wants more of me, how he can’t imagine his life without me and how he can’t keep himself away from my sexy body. After two months of that kind of secret dating, he asked me to spend the night.
And this is where my addiction begins.
