Sometimes, we’re extra proud of our weekly lineup because it is a mastery of the broad diversity that New York has to offer. This is one of those weeks.

Fri 28: People Reading Poems Written By Computers: RWET Performance @ITP

ITP – NYU, 721 Broadway Fl 4, 7:00 PM – 8:30 PM, Free
Ever feel like we’re inching closer to the singularity? Goats are being gestated in pretend goat wombs, virtual reality is all over the damn place, robots are teaching ESL… hey, at least robots aren’t writing poetry. OR ARE THEY!? Join NYU students as they shake their fist at God and give robots the grace of poetry our race has spent millennia refining.

Fri 28: Neon Tribe Presents: Space Funk Odyssey

Brooklyn Colony – Breuckelen Colony, 274 4th Ave, 9:00 PM – 3:00 AM, $5
Come for the art, come for the DJs spinning well into the morning, come for the $5 well drinks. You may also want to come for that awesome poster above… well done, graphic designer!

Sat 29: Bacon and Beer Festival

Citi Field, 120-01 Roosevelt Ave, Corona, 1:00 PM – 4:00 PM, $70
“JESSICA!” You scream, ripping off your derby hat in a steaming rage, “$70 FOR A TASTING?! ARE YOU OFF YOUR GOURD?!” Cool it, buddy! Sit down! This ain’t no tasting, it’s an all-you-can-eat-all-you-can-drink SMORGASBORD! Go frickin’ nuts on craft beers and all-you-can-eat bacon strips and dishes, along with a bunch of fun carnival games, all in gorgeous Citi Field. Now please, put your hat back on. You’ve embarrassed yourself.

Sat 29: Trudy Carmichael Presents: The Improvised One-Woman Show!

The Duplex Cabaret and Piano Bar, 61 Christopher St, 7:00 PM – 8:00 PM, $5 (advance) / $10 (door)
Trudy Carmichael is a legend. Generations of musical improvisers have striven to emulate her rhyme schemes, her clever turns of phrase, and her sultry voice- but no one has tried to follow her wild lifestyle, because they would surely die. Slightly less wild but no less talented is her actress, Robin Rothman, who has been touring the NYC stages for more than a decade. Don’t miss it!

Sun 30: Cherry Blossoms at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden

Brooklyn Botanic Garden, 990 Washington Avenue, 10:00 AM – 6:00 PM, $15 (free with NYC ID!)
Look, you ding-dongs, I can’t keep telling you about how FLIPPING MAGICAL cherry blossom season is. See that photo? I took it! On a date! Last weekend! The cherry blossoms are POPPIN and you need to get your booties in gear and experience the majesty that reminds us of how brief the bloom of life is upon us. I will NOT forgive you if you don’t check out some cherry blossoms this spring.

Sun 30: Inversions 101 – learn the ABC’s with Mukunda

The Bhakti Center (Official), 25 1st Ave, 3:00 PM – 5:00 PM, $35
Even experienced yogis can find inversions stressful at first. Doubt and fear can sneak in, and without proper observation a person can even tumble over and hurt themselves (an ex-boyfriend once fell flat in a class I attended with him. Comical, but potentially dangerous.) In this class, your patient teacher will go over inversions such as such as head stand (sirsasana), forearm stand (pincha mayurasana) and hand stand (adho mukha vrksasana), beginning with the basics and going slowly.

Sun 30: Trumpcast Live!

SVA Theatre, 333 W 23rd St, 8:15-9:45, $30
Trumpcast is one of my favorite podcasts. If you’re anything like me, you’ve spent the past few months desperately trying to figure out what exactly is going on in our president’s mind, and how it could effect our lives. Are we going to go to war with North Korea? Probably not. Should we feel safe about France’s election results? Probably not. Does Donald Trump tweet on the toilet at 4:00 in the morning? Probably. Trumpcast helps break it all down, humorously and and with great insight.

Mon 1: Would You Rather

VSPOT Organic, 12 St Mark’s Place, 8:00 PM – 9:00 PM, Free
It’s your favorite “choose your own adventure” show, in which comedians have been given “would you rather” premises and created stand up around them. Would you rather die in a race car accident or marry your brother? Would you rather gestate a koala or eat an entire live bear? Those are two questions I am guessing they will not ask, but only time will tell!