I've decided to lay off dating for awhile and instead go out with myself - to fun places, doing things I enjoy, or just hanging around and getting acquainted with who I am.

My friend, Eustacia, says she loves her own company. I can't say the same is true for me, which makes you wonder how I can expect anyone else to take a shine to me if I don't. I've put in a lot of years telling myself I'm not enough or conversely, that I'm too much, years of performing like a circus monkey in hopes of setting things right. Finally, I'm beginning to think there isn't any "right" out there. It's only "right" right here, now, where I am.

My son is with his dad this weekend which means I'm on my own. I have a loose plan to meet an acquaintance for coffee, but otherwise the next 36 hours our mine to shape any way I please.

There's a morning yoga class in Millennium Park that I could attend or later near the lake, there's an outdoor jitterbug class accompanied by live music. I have a long line up of magazine queries that need finishing and if I throw the windows open wide, I'll feel the fresh breeze as I write. Later I could bike to Whole Foods for fresh salmon, and then this evening teach myself how to grill.

All of the above sounds lovely. In fact, if I heard that someone else was spending their Saturday this way, I'd be downright envious. But it's not someone else. It's me. And I just have to remember that I'm the lucky one who gets to be with myself.