I went out to a Party tonight with a friend, sort of a last-minute deal. I wasn't expecting to meet anyone or have a great time, it was a special event for a gay magazine. Minutes after we got there, Jason, who I went with, found a guy he knew and started chatting to him. Next to him was this really cute, young looking guy. We were introduced, and began chatting. The more we talked, the more I noticed has attractive he was. Not only cute, he was intelligent, and had a great body, and an ass I couldn't take my eyes off. He seemed reserved, and I couldn't tell throughout the evening if he had any interest in me or not. We decided to leave the magazine party and head to a bar, him and his friend followed us there. We chatted more. I kept thinking, "It is refreshing to meet a guy like this, that I could be totally into." As we parted ways, I asked if he was on Connexion or Friendster (an indirect and dorky way of getting contact information). He seemed excited that I asked, and gave me his name to look him up with.

So I get home, drunk, and excited. I look him up online as soon as we got home. I was shocked to see he was 31, way older than I had imagined, His profile was funny and interested, until I got to the bottom where it said "I am HIV+".

Everything just stopped. I know I'm new to NYC and infantile, and this was the first time I had met someone that I knew was HIV+. It was disappointing in a way, although that sounds shallow, but it killed my hope of finding romance in him. My reaction was due to my own fear, but also due to the sadness of meeting such a great guy and then finding this out about it. I'm trying not to sound ignorant, but I probably do anyway. I sent him an e-mail saying I hope we can hang out again. I still really want to see him, but this is a hesitation there, and I"m not sure what the "right" thing to do is. I hate that.