All too often I come across many questions about moving on from an ex and recent breakup. All of these questions have inspired me to create an article about getting over a break up and moving on from special Women in your life. Break ups are difficult and moving on from a girl who possibly friend zoned you can be just as hard. The loss of any kind of relationship is hard to deal with, the emotional impact can be similar to the death of a loved one, especially if the circumstances are not good. The longer you have emotional feelings for someone the harder the break up will be as well. Getting over someone who you cared for is no easy task, especially if you allowed the relationship to take over your life. These tips and advice will help you get over a break up and move on from women. Some tips will also help your social life and appearance in general, by helping you think with more clarity rather than emotional sadness.
Feel the Emotions
A large part of this article and many articles about break ups involve tips on moving on and what you can do to improve. The thing that is always missing is the fact that you need to actually experience the breakup. Almost every article on breakups always misses the part about actually going through some sadness. This isn’t about being depressed or anything like that, if you’re at that level, immediately seek help so you can move on even quicker. The real thing you need to focus on though, is normal sadness that isn’t on the level of clinical depression. When you have a breakup it’s not only normal to feel sad, but you have to feel sad. It’s a part of being a person. Feeling your emotions on the situation is a great thing to do before trying to do anything else. Unlike many guys who give advice, I do not suggest immediately going out, that could cause a huge problem eventually and I’ll get into that more later, but for now feeling your emotions will be key.
Understand that you will be upset, let your emotions out, talk to friends, and after a fair amount of time it’s time to get back on the saddle. If the amount of time you’re upset exceeds a reasonable amount of time or it starts altering how you live, again, it’s important to seek help. When relationships last for a long time it can be extremely hard to move on and there’s no shame in trying to speed up the process by speaking with a professional. Relationships are life altering many times, whether it be positive, negative, or both, they change us drastically. Men are often too dismissive of the emotional toll a breakup can have. Again, this doesn’t mean to cry non-stop forever and worry about the girl you just broke up with while texting her every second of every day. This is about acceptance of the break up, which is the first step in the process of moving on.
Don’t Worry about Women
Distracting yourself after a break up is the best thing that you can do. Keeping your mind occupied once you have accepted that it’s time to move on, is the key to moving on. Distractions can vary but I must say, again, do not let women, be that distraction. Too often men think going out and dating again will remove the pain of a breakup. Even worse, some men are already trying to use jealousy to get an ex back as well. Don’t worry about your ex or any other woman. This time is about YOU, and only you.
When you immediately jump back into a relationship or trying to date, it will only cause more pain in the future. New women will not fill any voids your ex has left and they certainly won’t help you improve so the relationship can actually be successful. Remember, if you just had a breakup, there was a reason. Even if it was “her fault”, there are still ways that you can improve yourself. If she cheated, it doesn’t matter if you did nothing wrong and were the best man in the world, realize that you can always be a better man.
Note: Before really getting started I want to say to immediately remove all bashing of your ex on social media profiles. If you haven’t done it, good,, don’t do it at all. This guide will be extremely helpful to you and in no time you’ll be putting up awesome and happy content. When you’re hurt it’s best to not post hurtful things about others online, like I said, if it’s that painful talk to friends/family and or seek professional help. Social media is not any of those things and it doesn’t help anyone, on the contrary, it can ruin your image during a time when your emotions are not in the right place.
Distract Yourself (Hobbies)
I don’t like using the phrase “distract yourself” because it makes it like the girl is going to occupy your mind non-stop so you have to distract yourself from this one girl. I like to think of these “distractions” as more of ways towards self-improvement. Whatever it is that you want to do, now is the time to do it, and with this I’m strictly talking about things you enjoy. Self-improvement comes next, but for now, let’s stick with enjoyment. Whatever Hobbies you have, if you left them during your relationship, take them back up again and never let them go again.
When I say to never let them go again, that’s important, because now that you might get back into your hobbies, whether it’s gaming, or reading, or playing a sport or any combination of things, don’t let them go again. Once you get back into your hobbies, they need to be permanent, no matter how much a woman may resist, you make time for yourself, and do what you enjoy. That doesn’t mean to intentionally read when she’s around or game when she’s around, there’s a difference between pissing someone off to pretend to prove something, and genuinely having time for what you enjoy. The point is to not let a woman ruin the things you love to do. If you need to not see her for a night or pick her up later one night because you want to do something, then do it. Don’t let hobbies take over your life obviously, but don’t get ride of them entirely either. Find the happy balance to find time for yourself and what you enjoy doing so you can relax but also maintaining a happy, regular and active lifestyle.
Unfortunately many hobbies do seem to take over a man’s life. A man who enjoy’s gaming often game’s too frequently and only games as well. Having such a singular focus on one hobby with so much time invested in it can be counter-productive. Life is about balance and everything should be in moderation. Time spent with a woman, time spent by yourself, time spent lifting, time spent eating junk food etc…all of these things should be split up evenly and done on a schedule or on occasion. Clearly the frequency of eating garbage and lifting weights needs to be on opposite ends of the spectrum. Prioritize important activities and moderate aspects of your life that could be considered unhealthy. Moving on from a girl is great, but this tip will help with life in general, not just women.
Distract Yourself (Friends)
Along with your hobbies, this is now time to get back your friendships, see your friends more, or make new friends, and also never let them go just like your hobbies. This is the time where you’re re-inventing yourself. Just like you’re going to get back into your hobbies, you’re also going to get back into your friendship circle, both of which can never go away now. Future girlfriends are going to understand your a man who has hobbies he enjoys and friends he loves to be around, future girlfriends will be a part of that life. Don’t forget this no matter how long you date a future girlfriend, these things are now here to stay. Hobbies and friends help keep you a better man, don’t lose them over a relationship, especially when these are things you enjoy doing.
Going out with friends is a great way to meet women when you get back to that point, which you might start being able to once you’re at the point of hanging out with people again. Remember, at this stage, if you want to start being around women again, keep it very casual, you’re not looking for marriage you still have a lot to do for yourself before you’re ready for that, even though you’re becoming a better man already.
Distract Yourself (Self-Improvement)
This is the big one, this is the step where you need to focus almost everything. Hobbies and friendships are back in your life and now you have them. Self-improvement needs to be the other piece that you need to have permanently now and it includes many different things as well. Improving yourself is the entire point of a breakup and it’s why I believe they happen. You have your hobbies and your friends, but now you’re going to become yourself, this is where you become who you were meant to be. Remember before getting into this part, these things are not going to go away, ever, this new methods of self-improvement are going to be around permanently in your life now.
The first aspect of self-improvement you need to focus on is physical improvement. This is about diet and exercise. A healthy body creates confidence in many different ways, including biologically within yourself. It’s extremely important to eat right and workout. I’d highly recommend when you’re at this point reading my self-improvement guide, everything you need for this part is explained there. I’ll state one of the most important things I say there, here though, this isn’t about becoming a bodybuilder. I personally do not have that physique myself. Yoga and meditation is just as healthy as lifting massive weights. While I do believe some light weight activity at least is great, this isn’t about anything specific, it’s just about being health. The other aspect of self-improvement that goes along with this, is mental/emotional self-improvement. By having less stress and increasing confidence within yourself, your mental/emotional state will improve, which will get you ready to start dating again. Women will naturally be more attracted to you as all of these things are improving together.
The next thing to focus on with self-improvement is focusing on your goals, especially when it comes to education and your career. Your body and mind is going to be perfect now you need to be successful as well. What is it that you can do that is going to make you happy? Notice by the way, that success is different for every man, get to the goals of what will make you feel successful and don’t stop until you get there. Women will come along for that journey, they love men who have goals, but this is where you need to set them for yourself. Often when in a relationship a guy forgets what his hobbies, friends and working out, which again, you’re not leaving anymore, but they also forget what they want to do. Don’t settle, a woman who you love wouldn’t want you to settle either, this is the time to know where you’re headed. Get the degree you want and start working towards the career you want. If you have dreams that require money, then get as many jobs as you can to save up to go for that dream. Nothing is impossible at this point.
Now you can Worry About Women Again
Oh right, women, haven’t talked about them since the beginning here since you’ve been working on yourself. Once everything above is in order, then it is time to start dating again, but very casually. The best way to get into a routine with hobbies, friends, and self-improvement is to focus on yourself for a little while. Once you’re good with that, women will become a part of that routine instead of the entire routine itself, and that’s key to a successful relationship, that both people can be enjoy being with each other because they’re happy themselves.
You’ll probably notice more women wanting you now as you’ve improved. Enjoy this new success, you deserve it because you’ve worked for it, just remember now to stay yourself. It’s at this point you can do what you want to do, whether it’s being sexual for awhile, dating casually, or even trying for a real relationship again. You’re a new person so your relationships will be new too. Make sure you have solidified your new self before heading into a relationship though, no reason to fall back into old habits not worrying about yourself.
Get Excited for the Future
By now, I bet you’re not even worried about your ex breaking up with you, but instead you’re even more excited about the future. There’s a chance everything I’ve just laid out sounds so good that you might’ve forgotten that you even had a break up. That’s the great thing about break ups, they lead us to content like this, they lead us to self improvement, they lead us to becoming who we were meant to be. Not only are you now going to be a better man for yourself and future relationships, but now you can learn from the mistakes you made as well. This is an entire learning experience that you need. That’s right, we need break ups to grow. Many men don’t start out perfect with goals and doing everything the way they should for themselves, it often takes a break up for this to happen for a guy.
Break ups are the way we grow and learn about ourselves and how we interact with others. Because of this, you have been handed a blessing, and while it might hurt now, in the long run it won’t anymore. I know guys who read this are going to be upset but I genuinely believe by the time you got to this section you were probably filled with more hope than sadness. That’s the key to all of this, having hope and faith in yourself.
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