Donald Trump took to the road. He didn’t want to. He likes his own bed, predictable foods, and a steady diet of cable news. However, his hosts, after briefings from his handlers, took his fragility into account. There would be plenty of burnt steak and ketchup. Huge projections of his image on walls. And flattering remarks about his electoral college victory. And so off to Saudia Arabia he went.

There he gave a speech and the media swooned. Expectations for Trump are so low that if he reads someone else’s words without Offering a ‘woe is me’ he is called ‘presidential’. It wasn’t all smooth sailing He failed to say ‘radical Islamic terrorism’ an incantation conservatives insist must be uttered to render ISIS impotent.

Significantly his handlers blamed his oversight on fatigue. Which is laughable, as Trump had sold himself as a man of energy. Another lie.

So be it.

People hoped that his new sober status might last until the end of his trip. No such luck. In a joint press conference with Bibi Netanyahu, he insisted that, in blabbing secrets to the Russians, “I never mentioned the word or the name Israel”.

This rash utterance failed thrice. First: He did his host no favors by dragging up that piece of stupidity. Second: Once again he showed that his priority is himself and that America comes second. Third: No one had accused him of mentioning Israel.

Then Trump visited Yad Vashem, Israel’s official memorial to the victims of the Holocaust, where he signed the Book of Remembrance. Some compared his message to one in a high school yearbook. It certainly lacked the poetry of a previous President.

Next, there were the Manchester bombings. He said the words that every President says. Offering condolences to the families. Promising unity with the British. And swearing vengeance on ISIS. But not before he gave his explanation for why he would call them not ‘monsters’ but ‘losers’. Thereby consigning them to that amorphous mass of people he doesn’t like.

Again demonstrating that there is no event so tragic it can penetrate Trump’s rigorous self-regard.

Which brings us to the hand holding. Or rather Melania’s evident distaste at Donald’s attempt to grab hers. First in Israel, then deplaning in Rome. Rumors swirl that Melania wanted out if Trump failed to win the presidency. Her revuslion at Trump’s small offering lends support to that theory.

In Rome Trump enjoyed himself by senselessly shafting Sean Spicer. Spicer, a devout Catholic, had looked forward to meeting the Pope. But on the big day, he was denied the honor. Hewas absent – sent on a coffee run, for all I know. To salt the wound, Trump was there with his Jewish daughter and son-in-law.

Then there was ‘should you, shouldn’t you’ hair-covering controversy. Trump had once chastised Michelle Obama as a disrespectful hussy for going bareheaded in Saudi Arabia. Nevertheless, Melania and Ivanka stood tall in KSA – wearing their hair uncovered.

However, their devil-may-care dismissal of local custom was inconsistent.  When it came to meeting the Pope, the Trump women were clad in black and sporting mantillas.

Anyone hoping for greater eloquence from Trump will have to wait. After meeting with his eminence Trump gushed, “He is something,” and “We had a fantastic meeting”. He also assured the Pope that, “I won’t forget what you said”. Of course, the snide among us are already questioning if he can remember saying that.

Next stop is Belgium and nothing exciting ever happens there – or does it?

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