--> Ruby is socially awkward and so am I. You would think this would be a perfect combination – and sometimes it is.
The problem is we are not always on the same page when it comes to our social anxiety. When Ruby is feeling like she can greet other dogs with a wag, I am usually in a ‘cross the street because I can’t handle small talk' mood. Likewise, when I am feeling normal and willing and able to participate in conversation, Ruby gets all jumpy and reactive. When one is up, the other is down. We are like a confidence seesaw gone wrong.
It's Not You It's Me: Life With A Socially Awkward Dog
Ruby has issues with bikers, joggers, and occasionally plumbers. She’s also sometimes awkward with other dogs. It’s like she doesn’t know how to be a Normal dog (in the same way I don’t always know how to carry on a normal conversation). She sniffs them in the wrong place and the other dog is like “oh no she didn’t”. The other dog then starts barking, maybe even growling, which sets off other dogs in the area and suddenly, we are in the middle of Bark War Three.“He never acts like this,” the other dog person almost always says.
“It’s not you, it’s us,” I say, backing away slowly.
Similar weird things happen if I’m not feeling social and someone tries to talk to me. I usually say something stupid or walk into a tree and then say something even more stupid like “I didn’t see that tree coming”. And the other person is like "the tree didn’t move, you walked into it and now you have bark on your forehead".
There’s really no coming back from either of these situations. It’s best to brush the bark off your forehead and move on.
There’s really no coming back from either of these situations. It’s best to brush the bark off your forehead and move on.
Tips For Socially Awkward Pups and Peeps
1. Know your dog’s triggers (and your own). Ruby is normal 75% of the time (for me it is more like 65%). As previously mentioned when Ruby’s having an off day bikers, joggers and sometimes plumbers drive her a little crazy. For me it is lack of sleep, food, coffee or sunshine.
2. Map out several walks with escape routes in case one or both of you just can’t muster up small talk or normal dog interaction. Whether it is cutting though an alley, ducking behind a garage, or crawling on all fours through a thorn bush, have outs available. Being normal is hard.
3. Map out the locations where awkward encounters have occurred and avoid those spots for at least three weeks. The hope is that the people or dogs involved will forgot that your dog was the one who crapped in the middle of the road (because sometimes she can't handle grass) and caused a traffic jam.
4. Become a fast crosser. Be prepared to cross the street at any moment. Do it fast so other dogs/people don’t realize you are avoiding them.
6. Wear headphones. It really doesn’t matter if they work or not. Just make sure they are plugged into some kind of listening device otherwise you will give yourself away.
7. Walk in off hours. Avoid walking during doggie rush hour - 7-9 in the morning. After 10 when everyone has had their morning walk and/or left for work or school is prime walking time for socially awkward pups and peeps.
Dog people are generally very friendly and chatty. I am a nice person and generally friendly (from a distance), but I don’t think anyone would ever describe me as chatty. Ruby is a nice dog she just doesn’t understand normal doggie social cues - kind of like me with small talk. She totally gets feline etiquette, but that's another post.
