Have you ever been out and about and saw one of those bumper stickers?

You know the ones: there’s a stick figure of mom and dad and then little junior or maybe a little miss?

Now, have you ever seen ones where the line of littles seems to extend forever? The kind that makes you scratch your head and wonder if the vehicle in front of you is more like one of those clown cars in the circus where the clowns just keep exiting, over, and over?

How about seeing mom in the grocery store who apparently looks as though she must run a daycare? You know, she has 7 or 12 children buzzing around her like little flies all while she attempts to load her carts? I have to say, seeing families like this might make you wonder about having your own large Family, but having a big family is a bad idea because…

Having a Big Family is a Bad Idea Because…

You will no longer be able to use one grocery cart

Those days would be long past if you had a large family. You might find yourself attempting to, but all the food you need for a large family won’t fit into one cart alone. Once you return with your bounty, it will be devoured like a nature channel time lapse video of a picnic overrun by ants.

You will never be done putting the kids to bed

As surely as you finish in one room, someone will call to you from another. When you finally think you’re going to settle down and fall asleep, you find one crept in next to you. It’s like having fleas; they just keep finding you.

You will forever be behind on laundry

One load a day won’t cut it in a large family; you would just have to keep a continued vigil at the washing machine, so you don’t get buried alive. Oh, and did I mention socks? You will never have enough time to match them all; just think how many socks are involved in clothing an army of little feet.

Keeping a tidy house becomes an elusive goal

Keeping your house clean while raising a large family is like the battle to keep those 5lbs off. If you let up for just one moment, it all comes back with a vengeance. You think you are winning, but then you step on the scale, or look around your home, and realize you are just barely treading water.

You will use more soap than a surgeon

Hand soap, bath soap, laundry soap, kitchen soap, it will all go so fast you will wonder if the containers are made with sieve bottoms. Even if you stock up with 2-3 extras of each item, you will run out again tomorrow.

You will be an indentured servant to the orthodontist

You may have perfect teeth, your husband may have perfect teeth, but for some reason, there is this thing with large families where it seems that the dental care is never-ending. Let’s face it, folks, braces are not cheap.

You will forever be upgrading your vehicle

Just when you thought you had enough room for all of your children, you add another and then even your 8 passenger van no longer fits the family. And so it goes until before long you look like you are driving the church bus and aiming to keep it clean because someone somewhere will want to tour it. I speak from experience.

These are just a few of the thoughts that should cross your mind and be pondered awhile because let’s face it. Having a big family is a bad idea.

The Actual Reality

OK, so I’m sure you’ve figured out by now that this post is satire. I love my large family and sure, there’s definitely some truth to some of the things listed.

But, if this is all there is to having a large family, who on earth would do it? Some may think large families are wacky. I’ve found that these large broods simply understand that life is more than late model cars and large screen TVs. They see that children are incredible, and that building lives together is beyond anything else the world has to offer.

They’re thankful for the pile of laundry, and the snuggles from the toddler who needs reassurance in the night. The chatter around the family table and always having a friend aren’t taken for granted.

We never set out to have a large family. After our third, and again after our sixth, we heard that there was a slim chance for more children. We’re glad they were wrong because now we understand that having a big family is an excellent idea.

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