Just because sometimes being a prick is all you have to offer in life.

I really did think I had parenting down to a tee when I had Elliott. I used the Naughty Corner (our front door. The neighbours thought Elliott lived there some days), I would send him to bed with no dinner if he wouldn’t eat what I gave him, I’d get down to his level and explain why he was being punished. I kind of felt like I should have won some kind of award for being so awesome at keeping my child in check. 4 and a half years rolled by feeling like a rockstar and then Toby arrived. He’s that kid that will laugh wildly in your face when you send him to the naughty corner, he’ll effectively show us his middle finger when I send him to bed for throwing his dinner up the dining room wall (shit bag) and he’ll walk off when I try to explain what he did wrong. He is going to be that kid in the middle of a supermarket that loudly says “FOR FUCK SAKE MUMMY” I see this happening, I expect it, I am not even remotely prepared but it it likely going to be my future. 

I hear so many people say second children are ‘challenging’ or ‘spirited’ which translates to little bastards that don’t listen. Well, here is my ‘spirited’ second child colouring himself in.