I tend not to disclose much about myself on here, it's not that I don't trust you lot, you all seem very nice and non-axe-murderer-esque (quite a compliment, I know) it's just that there may come a time in the future when I would rather these... erm... literary... erm... "works"... were not traced back to me.

Perhaps one day, when I'm grey, crusty and bored, I'll get into politics, and quickly work my way up the ranks of government to, say, Minister for the Department of Laser Guns, Flying Cars and Whole Meals in Pill Form (DoLGFC&WMiPF) - an important and prestigious position in the future. I don't want some sneaky journalist putting it about how I searched for pornography on Google and encouraged others to do the same and described a charity collector as 'an arrogant tosser with a goatee' , all in one week.

It would completely ruin my chances of getting the coveted post of Chief Minister for the Ministry of Robot Justice. - Whatever that is.

Then, like vultures, all the journalists would start sniffing around my business, they'd get wind of the affairs, the cash for questions, the large stockholdings in companies I awarded government laser gun contracts to, the covering up of the beef-stroganoff-pill choking risk ("Stroganoffgate"), the 'hotel room incident', the rehab, the list goes on... all because I waffled on in a blog a few years back.

Can't a guy leave his past behind him and move on to a life of sordid indulgence and debauchery at the expense of the taxpayer?

Mind you, I'm not actually planning to get into politics, but I like to keep my options open, and from what I've just said, it does sound like fun.

I have admitted, grudgingly, that I'm from Norfolk and given that I'm not a farmer, nor do I flip burgers in a caravan on the A11, that narrows it down to just two or three places I could possibly live, and I don't live in bloody Kings Lynn (whatever the risk, I'm not having anyone think I'm one of that lot).

So I think I'll open up a bit, let the Mr Andrew mystery unfold some more...

ok, so, interesting fact about me...

I once met Tony Blair and lied to his face, then a year or two later he went on to lie to a whole country...

You see, I'm already having my wicked way on the world stage... MoRJ here I come.