Have the Scots found something to rival the deep-fried Mars bar?

Well, according to Stephen Mann, owner of the Pearl River takeaway in Erskine, his salt and chilli Pizza crunch is flying off the shelves. The concoction, which boasts more calories than 22 bags of crisps and more salt content than the daily recommended allowance, consists of a deep-fried pizza coated in spices, topped with onions, peppers and fresh chillies.

At least with the chilli and pepper topping, you are getting one of your five a day.

This ultimate in fusion cuisine, blending an Italian staple with Chinese flavours and Scottish frying, will set you back £7 for a full Ten Inch Pizza, while a half pizza retails at £4.

The only problem is that after eating it, it leaves your mouth as dry as a wallaby’s pouch.

Mann says he gets a lot of repeat customers. You don’t say?

For those for whom a ten inch pizza is not enough, perhaps the enterprising Mann could serve them on a Plate made by the Polish firm, Biotrem. Made from natural wheat bran and small amounts of water, compressed together under high temperature and pressure into a plate shape, they are microwavable and totally edible. What’s more, they are environmentally friendly, being compostable, and a tonne of the bran can make 10,000 plates.

With the bowel evacuation that the pizza is bound to guarantee, the plate once ingested will be out of your system in a jiffy.

Just a thought.