Know what you want.

That’s it in a nutshell. If you’re aiming to close the deal on a new job, house, mate, or bargaining for a bauble from Middle Eastern markets, you must have your intended outcome in mind. Do you really want this and to what extent (or price) are you willing to go to make that happen?

Depending on whether you’re buying or selling, you must start low (buying) or high (selling or salary). Don’t go overboard one way or the other… or you might scare off potential buyers or employers. Too high maintenance or demanding and possible spouses will run the other way.

The whole point is not to be a pushover. That’s the art of the dance. I could tell you stories….

Do your research and have your comps in mind. The comparable prices should be for similar items and ballpark prices. If it’s a three bedroom, two bath home, then it should be in the same part of town to be a legitimate comp. An all-leather bag may fetch a higher price than one made from fabric or straw. A highly-educated, well-put-together date is generally going to be searching for their equal. A fun job does not always command as much in salary and benefits as a high-powered, “important” career where you are positively impacting the company’s bottom line and bringing a wide range of skills to the table.

Depending on the situation and industry (trinkets in open-air markets cannot be compared to board member positions in swank settings), begin your negotiations anywhere from 25%-50% above or beneath where they are starting, or from where you want to end. If you push too far, it can be intimidating or insulting. Keep that in mind.

Maintain a sense of humor and let them know that, for all intents and purposes, you are solving a problem for them. You’re on their side. You both want this to happen.

Let it happen, at least in a small way, to your advantage.

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