With everything going on around the house I have been terribly absent from my blog. My children have reprimanded me enough to make me feel quite guilty actually. Thus, here I am...among piles of homeschooling books, bills, house viewing pamphlets, budgets, and some random cookie crumbs.

Sadly though, it is a week of mourning. Both of my daughters' Fish died. I'd like to say it was because of old age...but unfortunately, it was murder....no...wait... "accidental death"

Now one would think that I would know by now just how many ounces are in one gallon...but I carelessly blurted "64" instead of "128". (A terrible blunder..being that hubby was dispensing some new concoction to clean the fish tanks at 1 teaspoon per gallon) In my defense however, I did immediately say..."but I'm not sure on that...do you want me to look it up dearest?" He said "No" (Much too trusting I say)

Thus the little habitats were cleaned and doused with a double dose of chemical...and sadly when dear Fin and Lily returned to their homes they were dead within the hour.

A terrible, piercing scream echoed from the upstairs hall where I was certain that my 9 year old had broken her arm...or perhaps had seen a spider. My heart caught in my throat as I flew out of my office yelling for my husband. But it was he that came from the hallway carrying one of the fish tanks with my daughter tearfully trailing after. He just shook his head and said it must have been the chemicals.

For five hours my 9 year old wailed. It was awful. It was her first experience with grief...with the first pet of her own. Her fish was gone. At night she read stories to it, in the morning she fed it and talked to it...she even played some strange form of hide and go seek with it. Her Lily was indeed her friend.

My second daughter was coming back from a lake trip...all bright eyed and spilling with news...until she too...found out about her fish. Her fish Fin, that had been a constant in her room for 2 years...through happy times and sad times. Her dresser looked horribly empty.

We decided on a backyard burial. (My youngest thought that the old toilet flush was too cruel) Still, the idea of the fish not being in water upset her...thus we came up with an amber tinted glass vitamin jar. We filled it with water and the fish. At sunset we all buried Fin and Lily's jar under the apricot rose bush out back. We even made a headstone with a smooth small rock. Of course we all had to say a few parting words. I'm sure it might have looked a bit silly...but seeing my daughter's tears...I know that it really meant a lot.

Today there are 2 small flower petals on the little grave. It makes me sad to know that this is only a taste of the grief that will come with life and death in the years to come. Still, it opened up communications about letting go and the afterlife. I guess it's all just the beginning of one of life's lessons. RIP Fin and Lily.