I converted to Christianity when I was 14 years old. At the time, I was attending a Christian school and ironically, it was not the school’s influence that swayed me to claim the title of Christian but an event outside of school. Either way, I was thrust into a world of religion that was not all that familiar to me. Growing up, my parents took me to church and I faintly knew the Bible stories (FAINTLY) but this new world of Bible studies and praying over everything was alien to me but I soaked up everything I could possibly hold. I read the Bible for leisure and absorbed all the stories and lessons I could gain. I also loved attending in-depth studies of what the Word meant by studying the original Greek words used by the authors of the bible. Without studying and digging deeper, the Bible can seem like it has problematic portions. Christians believe that it is the Word of God transcribed by those who he chose to relay his message. These were oftentimes our prophets, kings, and disciples but overall ordinary people that God just chose to use. Basically, God inspired a few earthly beings to be his minutes' taker during his worldly meetings. But either these human transcribers added their own twist to what was said, or God fully intended it so that it would be questioned, and we would learn to align his will to situations that lay outside the scope of the Bible. Then the modern-day translations may not accurately represent what the writer was conveying in the first place. Take for example my least favorite English translation of a verse, Ephesians 5:22. “22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. (NIV)” This verse makes my intestines want to jump straight from my body. I am well known as a fiercely independent person and the thought of having to submit to someone because of my sex is sickening, at least to me, and reeks of the patriarchy. The Bible is patriarchal. Most of the stories surround men but even amid these male dominated societies, women were celebrated for taking the initiative and following God when everyone around them were distracted. This never aligned with the verse whatsoever in my mind. If God valued women who would stand up to men and the community that were doing wrong, why do we have to be submissive to our husbands? I mean, living life as a human doormat is not at all appealing. Well first, “be submissive to your husbands” is not at all what the verse was saying when it was first written. The verse was written in Greek and the word we refer to as submission doesn’t even MEAN submission. Basically, the scholars that translated it chose the word they felt best fit the circumstance and they may or may not have been swayed by the cultural norms of the time. Hupotasso, the word used in this verse, means to lift up. So basically, the apostle Paul was telling wives to support their husbands.

Some men have read this verse and quickly applied it to their lives in hopes of boosting their masculinity and sense of self via the power and control they have over their partner. This is not at all holy nor are they “loving their wives as Christ loves the church”. In marriage there may be a person that is more dominant and the other who is more submissive naturally because of personality and character traits but in no way is the Bible suggesting that men rule over women. Women are simply tasked with helping their husbands, not being contractual servants to them. Essentially culture and tradition have promoted the idea that wives should be subservient to their husbands. Although peaceful marriages are uplifted and encouraged, God also promotes the idea of a strong Godly woman that is not inhibited by the will and preference of her husband. So, ladies, next time a man tells you he wants a submissive wife that follows his every command, you can peace out without feeling like you are disobeying God. Find a spouse that you are willing to help because God is going to value you more than that other guy ever would.