Kubla’s friend is being difficult. The playdate isn’t going well. I pull Kubla off to the side.

“He’s ruining the game.” he whines to me.

“What did you do about it?”

“I told him to stop, but he keeps doing it.”

“Yeah,” I sympathize. “It’s hard to get someone to do what you want. But you know what you can always get someone to do? You can always get them to do exactly what they are doing right now.”

He runs back to his friend, not fully convinced. The game soon breaks down again.

“Walk away from the game!” commands Kubla as his friend gets up to walk away again.

His friend starts to sit down. “Sit down!” Kubla says, newly empowered.

His friend stands up again. “Stand up again,” laughs Kubla. He’s now regained control of the Situation. He can always have things his way if he just chooses to have things exactly as they already are. As it happens, his friend comes back to the game.

What do your children resist? How do you get them to stop controlling the situation?

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