Do you always feel left out in Social events, so much that you hate those who blend in with everyone?Do not worry, for here are 2 of the most important skills for self improvement that will boost your social skills massively.
1. The art of listening: Ever wondered why a person is said to be charming? Well, except for being funny or interesting, there’s one factor in them that is hands-down amazing. Their listening skills.
It definitely feels good to have someone concentrate on whatever it is you’re saying. Now, listening is not just sitting next to the speaker and not talking the whole time. No.
Hearing is the art of having different kinds of noises getting into your ears, 90% of which are not registered in the brain. Listening, on the other hand, is whereby almost all information told to you is registered in the brain. This is because, as you listen, you comprehend to try and understand the story and go with the flow.
Signs that show you are listening and not just hearing sounds:

• Being active. Laugh to jokes, change facial expressions according to the story mood.

• Eye contact. This helps in concentration. When your eyes are on the speaker, you avoid being distracted by other activities or things around you. So look into their eyes and stay physically still.

• Responding sounds. Show the speaker you are flowing with the story by saying words like, “uh, huh” , “oh, no” , “exactly” among others.

• Give feedback for their story. Do it like a comment, “wow! So he really decided to chop his arm? That was bold!”

• In case someone interrupts, be the first to continue the conversation like, “So you were telling me about Sara’s car being stolen. What happened next?” This shows attentiveness and interest in the story.
Those are the easy ways of moving from super boring dude to that charming guy/girl.
2. Self disclosure: Listening goes hand in hand with speaking. When you meet someone new, try talking less and listening more. As mentioned earlier, listening helps you learn more about someone.
However, ensure you say a few things about yourself but avoid making it all about you. You can do this in comments during the story like, “ow the blue one, i like it too” and continue listening to the story.
What about when it’s your turn to talk?Many get frozen by the statement, “so, tell me something about yourself”. Yes, we all do. This, however, becomes your one chance to say the best things about yourself, but in brief.
Tips for self disclosure:

• Reveal a strong point about yourself and get feedback from the listener. This shows you care about what they think.

• Don’t just reveal your strengths. Bring in a weakness or two. This is for humor and to show everyone that you’re not perfect but human and you don’t mind.

• Don’t reveal deep secrets about yourself until you know the person in depth or until the person reveals a secret about themselves to you.
Self disclosure helps you and the listener connect, so be truthful to yourself and your listener.
Self improvement and social skills are very important in our daily lives. We cannot survive in this world alone, so we need to improvise ways to survive with others.

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