A few nights ago I was out walking my doggy Ashley when... oh, let this Facebook post explain it. I'll copy and paste here:
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So I was walking my doggy Ashley when she decided to sniff at the grass by the curb next to a neighbour's gate. This Neighbour has previously given me death glares before: the old man who lives there tends not to smile or acknowledge you but just openly stare. Tonight he did it again – from inside his car, then standing at his gate, just watching me with open hostility while my dog did nothing but sniff the grass.
Then his wife called out, in Hokkien: "Eh why you taking so long?" "There's someone out here, letting his dog Shit here!" he replied, also in Hokkien. "What?" his wife exclaimed, and he repeated it, loudly, as he went into his driveway and into his house, while I called out: "Hey, don't simply make accusations!" or something to that effect (but Malaysianised).
When I got home, I told my dad what had happened, and he walked over to the man's house intending to have a word. But the man's daughter was at the front gate, so he told her, "Tell your father we don't just let our dogs shit anywhere we like." She ignored him and went back into her house.
| The letter. Click for full view. |
Here are the contents of that letter:
Dear old man who lives here,
I am highly offended by your act of openly STARING when I am walking my dog. I have been walking my dogs on this street for the past 14 years – usually TWICE a day – and my dogs have NEVER, NOT ONCE, taken a SHIT anywhere CLOSE to your property. To stare and not smile, not say hello, is inherently RUDE and ultimately DISRESPECTFUL. As someone of the older generation, I would think you should know better. Do you know WHY I don't let my dogs shit close to your house? Because I am a RESPONSIBLE and RESPECTFUL neighbour – qualities you seem to LACK. And because of that, I will not demonstrate any respect to you. Respect is not a given; it is EARNED.
To make matters worse, you then openly complained to the old woman that I was letting my dog shit there. This kind of accusatory, suspicious behaviour is not just unnecessary; it is downright shameful. All you had to do is say hello, learn to smile, and you would know I mean no harm and will not leave a mess. To top it all off, I was not even NEAR your gate; I was closer to your neighbour's house. They have a dog. He and I often have conversations. We are on good terms. I respect THAT family as my neighbours.
In conclusion, your attitude and behaviour are despicable and reeks of someone who isn't civilised. I'm sure that is NOT true. So why be a "tu lan" (pig's balls!) neighbour when you can be a nice one?
Sincerely, Dog Walker (and now, shitter)
PS: I understand Hokkien.
PPS: We have even TALKED about this BEFORE. I have previously ALREADY reassured you of my dogs leaving no mess. If you don't remember, that is NOT *MY* fault.
Happy Chinese New Year.
#dontfuckwithme
#bitchmodeactivated
This post first appeared on Memoirs Of A Madcap Malaysian Musicmaker Madly Musicmaking And Making Mad Music (Est. 2004), please read the originial post: here
