Forgiveness is one of the overwhelming themes of the Bible. Often times we focus on the Forgiveness of our sins by God through the sacrifice made by His Son on the Cross. But how do we as believers deal with others when they seek to reconcile with us? What about those who are believers as well?
We are told in Matthew 6:14-15 that if we forgive those who have sinned against us, God will forgive us our sins as well. This is not the same forgiveness that is granted when we become saved. This is a forgiveness that returns us to fellowship. It’s like a friend apologizing for spilling the glass of soda on the white carpet. You forgive him and everything is good again. Jesus tells us in Mark 11:25 that we are to forgive those we are holding things against. Clearly forgiving is a duty of a true follower of Christ.
But what about those people that sinned against us before they were saved? What if that sin is so egregious, so painful that the very thought stabs through right to the core? Our human nature is to hold on to that pain, to remember it so we never allow that person close enough to hurt us again. How many of us have had a partner cheat on us? How many of us have had our hearts broken at the hands of those who claimed to love us? How many of you can honestly say that if that person walked up to you right now and told you that they had found Christ, and they asked you for forgiveness, could 100% without doubt or strings attached forgive them?
I know I couldn’t. To be more accurate I could forgive the act but not the pain that it caused me, not 100%. It wasn’t until recently when a friend that is near and dear to my heart, one that I have invested twenty years of my life into, came to me seeking reconciliation. She came to me and admitted that she had done somethings in her past that she wasn’t proud of, and God had been moving in her heart to reconcile with me. For the sake of transparency, we have had a rough rollercoaster ride of a relationship. We have fallen out of contact by simply being overwhelmed in life, or by the flaring (mostly on my end) of emotions driving us apart. In fact it has driven us so far apart that my friend felt as if I was gone from her life. Seeing that this person is near and dear to my heart it was relatively easy to tell her that there was no harm and that all the things she did in her past were forgiven. It was a lie. When the timing of one of the events for which she was seeking forgiveness was brought to light it sent me for a tailspin. The proverbial rug was yanked out from under my feet. I was hurtling toward earth, the crushing weight of the pain brand new and fresh dragging me down by the neck. Being that I am a human, I took it personally. I took what she did a commentary on my worth as a person. That was the first mistake. I valued my worth on the actions of another human. When we judge our worth on the actions of those around us we miss the true value of who we are. As some one who is called by God and every one of us who is saved is called, our worth is beyond measure. In fact, we are worth so much that God left all the glory and majesty of heaven, come to earth in the form of His Son Jesus, died a terrible death used for thieves and murders paying the price for our sin, rose three days later so that we may once again share an eternity in the presence of He who created everything. I will admit that for a moment I felt as if this might be it, this might be the very thing that pushed me to the point where I could no longer maintain a friendship, much less forgive her. I was ready to walk away from the friendship.

What about my friend? She was devastated. She had assumed that I had known all the details. She was afraid that our new found reconciliation would be destroyed and she would lose me forever. I reassured her I was ok and that it was all in the past. I assured her that I was not going anywhere. I was not completely truthful with her. It hurt and I wasn’t sure I’d make it past it. I assured her that I would pray. I wanted her to feel somewhat at ease while I tried to sort things out. I didn’t want my knee jerk reaction to be the reason that everything was thrown away. I wanted to seek God’s guidance. I knew from our conversations that she was a relatively new believer, and I did not want to do anything that was damaging to her fledgling faith or behave in a manner unbefitting a follower of Christ. Imagine if someone who claimed to be a brother in Christ turned his back on his new sister in Christ, because he couldn’t forgive her for something she did that caused him pain, something that honestly should not have mattered? So I prayed for God to show me what to do, because I was completely at war with myself. I need to be shown the Christ-like response to this pain. It would have been very easy to look at it through human eyes and take what she did as a personal slight. It would have been easy to take the advice of the world and write her off.

As I prayed, I asked God to show me the way I should approach this situation. He pointed me to 2 Corinthians 5:16-18. In this letter to the church at Corinth, Paul is instructing the believers in how they should approach reconciliation. In verse 16 Paul tells us that we are not to look at those around us with an outward human perspective. He goes on to illustrate that we looked at Christ from a human perspective, but as believers, we no longer see Him from that point. What he is saying here is that as human beings we tend to hold grudges. We tend to look at those who have hurt us as unforgiveable. We even do it to people that have never wrong us. How many times have we looked at someone covered in tattoos and piercings and said, “Surely they aren’t Christians.” How many times have we looked at someone that has a reputation of not remaining pure until marriage and said they shouldn’t be in “our” church? I have been guilty of it in the past, we all have. This is completely the wrong viewpoint to have. Remember it is not the well whom need the Great Physician; it is the sick and the lost. Jesus’ death is sufficient for them just as it is for us. Often times when these people are saved and seeking forgiveness and reconciliation, we forget what verse 17 says. Paul reminds us and the people of the Church of Corinth that once we are saved we are a new creation. Yet we shun them and push them away. We worry about what the world, our friends, our families, or even members of the church might think if they saw us with that person. We forget the most important lesson, these people are new creations. The past transgressions have been forgiven. God no longer looks at them and sees the faults and the wrongs they have committed. That means that even the drug addict, the thief, the murder, the liar, the promiscuous man/woman; they can all be redeemed in Christ.
So what does that mean for us? That means that we are to look at them as a brother or sister in Christ. That means that once these people are reconciled to Christ, they are family. We should look at them the say way that God look as those who have been redeemed; with love, compassion, and brotherhood. It reminds me of a scene from Lilo and Stitch. In the movie they talk about the word Ohana, Polynesian for Family. They go on to explain that family means no one gets left behind. We all have that weird family member, with crazy hair, tattoos, and piercings, or a bad past, our own Stitch. You may be trying to figure out how this all applies to me. I easily could have said to my friend, “No way, I’m out!” I could have turned my back on her and the friendship. In the eyes of the world I would not only have been justified, but many would have expected me to do just that. Look at it from God’s perspective. He could have easily done the same to you or me. He could have easily done so to the entire human race. He could have obliterated Adam and Eve. He could have wiped Noah out along with the rest of creation in the Flood. He could have never sent His Son and let us all live out our days to die and burn in the fires of Hell. He could have done all that and still been a righteous and holy God, but He didn’t. He sent his Son to be the sacrifice He required so that we may all be reconciled to Him. That means we should all follow the example that He has put forth.

Additionally, something that I think many of us may overlook, we are also new creations. Part of the pain that I experienced was a self-hatred of sorts. I wanted to know why I had been such a terrible person in the past that I caused her to hurt so bad that she did what she did. See when all this took place I was not one of the redeemed. I was not allowing God to mold me and make me new. I was holding on to the former self; that selfish, deceitful, conceited, hate-filled person that I was. I was forgetting when 7 years ago when God reached into my life and broke me and I cried out to be saved, that the old person was dead and that I was a new creation in Christ. So let me say this to you; if you’re divorced, if you were addicted to drugs or alcohol, if you didn’t remain pure until marriage, if you spewed curse word, once you’re reconciled to Christ, you were made new. But what does that mean? It means that you need to forgive yourself; you need to let go of the past wrongs you committed. Yes, there may be consequences that you suffered for the past deeds, but you are no longer ruled by them. Being that we are still human, there is a good chance you will still struggle with some of those issues. However, you must remember you have the Great Physician, the Savior, by your side. You have a family, a body of brothers and sisters that are willing to share your burdens.

If you don’t know that feeling, if you are not a part of the family, I urge you to seek God’s grace and forgiveness. If you feel that tugging at your heart, that feeling that something is not right, I urge you to reach out to God. He will forgive you. Jesus says he stands and the door and knocks, anyone who opens will have fellowship with Him. We as believers are not better than you, we are just redeemed. We have been forgiven. Romans 3:23 tells us all have sinned and fallen short of God’s standards. There is no distinction. There is no measure to quantify the severity of sin. It says ALL. Do not be disheartened there is hope. Romans 5:28 tells us that while we were still sinners, God sent His Son, Jesus to die for our sins. The fact that Jesus rose three days later and ascended to the right hand of God is proof that God accepted that payment. Romans 10:9 says that all we have to do is confess with our mouths and believe in our hearts that God raised Jesus from the dead, we will be saved. God promises that anyone who calls upon the name of Jesus will be saved. Romans 5:1 tells us that since we have been justified (reconciled) through Christ that we are at peace with God. We are spared from His wrath and an eternity in Hell. Roman 8:1 says there is no condemnation, no complete and utter disapproval for those who are in Christ. Finally there is an epic promise, one that makes me so happy to be one of the redeemed, in Romans 8:38-39. Neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor demons, neither the present, nor the future, nor any power, nor any depth, nor any height, nor anything else in creation will be able to separate you from the love of God, through His Son Jesus. That means that once you are reconciled to Christ and redeemed, there is nothing that can take you from God.