It's been practically forever and a day since I've been here! I make a habit of checking the blogs that I like to read, but I suppose I should check my own every once in a while. Such is life.

Speaking of which, gosh it's kinda sucky, huh? I find myself asking, "When exactly is it that I will be grown up and everything will stop being so difficult?" Well, I think, kids, that the answer is that it doesn't get easier as you grow up, as a matter of fact I believe (ready for this??) that it just keeps getting harder and harder. Now I wouldn't want anyone to think that I am sitting here having a pity party for myself, woe is me, woe is me, blah blah. No, actually, I know that I am pretty lucky. I have an amazing husband, my best friend, whom I love; he loves me and would give me the world if he had it to give. I'm surrounded by friends that are lovely and remind me to just keep swimming, even if I don't see or talk to them very often. I have a job, albeit a job that most days SUCKS MAJOR BALLS. But it pays the bills and I even have a little left over to save...save early, save often kiddos!!!

What I've realized is that even with all of these things working FOR me, the universe in all of it's wonderous ways seems to work against me. It brings to mind those age-old Paula Abdule lyrics "I take two steps forward and two steps back..." I digress...

As you get older, there are so many more expectations and I've never been all that keen on living up to other peoples great expectations of me. Buy a house, have kids, make more money, get a better job, buy a bigger house, have more kids, make more money...It seems like I've been so worried about what other people want out of me, I forgot to ask myself. What do I want to be when I grow up? I have no freaking idea. You would think that after going to school since 5 years of age, I would have a better answer to this questions, but unfortunately I've always been indecisive and that streak seems to manifest itself into every facet of my life. I always knew someday that my indecisiveness would be my downfall, my own Achille's heel. It's tough to live up to someone else's expecations when I don't really have any expecations for myself. I guess that's as good a place to start as any. So I guess that's what I had to say today. Don't forget to reevaluate every once in a while, I know I forget sometimes, so just a friendly reminder.