I'm inside. Outside I hear screaming and moaning. Good God, I say, society has finally collapsed. I knew we couldn't be this close to Southampton without being one of the first to feel the brunt of the inevitable.

Trust me. Go to Southampton on a Saturday. The end of civilisation in this country won't be about savage gangs tearing the place down. No. It'll be about the shopping trolley, the forty plastic bags and the five-children-each-with-two-in-a-buggy.

But no. I look through the haze at my watch to see it's Hallowe'en time. Nobody seems to put the ' anymore.

Why is this event so much bollocks? Case in point.

On top of that, I've seen a "swirled-face" mask.

I weep for humanity as I hid behind my walls armed with every bit of wood-with-a-nail-in-it that I could find.

If you get this. Send aid and nurses. I'm still dying and time is short.

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